Schloss Neuhaus

Arrivals and Departures

2009-07-11T04:50:00.000-07:00

"Your Grace, His Highness Albrecht von Schwerin, the Margrave of Ober Nord Westfalen."

"Welcome, Your Highness, 'tis a meeting I have long desired."

"Thank you for your welcome, Your Grace, I am only sorry that it has been so long in coming, especially now, that other matters have leapt to my notice."

"Other matters, Your Highness? I do not quite take your meaning."

"Would Your Grace be easier, if perhaps, we spoke in English?"

"That I would, or in Frankish, if Your Highness, prefers..."

"No, Your Grace, Englisch suits me well enough. I have, in my youth, in England spent a great deal of time. I was at your Eton at school, and then to Cambridge, I went."

"Very well, Your Highness... let it be English."

"Yes, indeed, Your Grace. I spoke, a moment ago, of other matters which to my attention have sprung..."

"Ah... yes, 'other matters' - now I understand. Well, I take Your Highness' literal meaning, but I fail to see how these other matters shall impinge on our meeting, still less do I understand Your Highness' regret at... Oh! The fiend seize it! May we not dispense with all this 'Your Grace' and 'Your Highness'? I find it becomes tedious!"

"By all means, let us with the shoes off speak!"

"Shoes... shoes? Oh... no, I rather take it that you mean gloves?"

"Of course! How stupid of me. Yes. Let us with the gloves off, speak."

"Indeed, but d'ye know, that raises a pretty problem... How do we address one another? Normally I would suggest that we use our titles, you would address me as 'Marlborough', and I you, as 'Ober Nord Westfalen', but 'tis a plaguey mouthful!"

"Yes, a trifle cumbersome, it is."

"H'mm... Another acceptable mode of address, would be as it was at school... I could address you as von Schwerin. But... 'tis somewhat curt, more, it would sound as if you were subordinate to me."

"And am I not, Your Grace?"

"No, no, not at all. You have consented to use your army in conjunction with my forces, and so be it that I command the larger portion of our forces, then I must needs take the responsibility for conducting our campaign... but you as a subordinate, no, my dear sir, 'tis not to be thought of."

"I could always the playing field, make level... I could, in turn, you address as Churchill?"

"Ha! Yes, indeed, the very thing! Let be so, then 'tis von Schwerin and Churchill, henceforth. Now, my dear Margrave, you will take wine?"

"I thank you".

"Now, what import have these other matters, that cause you regret?"

"You will, of course, of matters in Slavonia, have heard?"

"I confess to massive ignorance of affairs in that country... Some rumours of disturbance have come to my ears, but little of significance."

"Little of significance? My Lord Duke! The Avtokrator Mikhail is dead and his throne by his second son, Pyotr, is assumed. What of the elder son, Aleksander, is become, remains for the moment a mystery. Pyotr is a madman - he has sovereignty over some of the Kaiser's dominions claimed and threatens war with Skania. This, Churchill, at a time when he already at war with the Sublime Porte is."

"Yes, all very disturbing, but how does that affect us?"

"The western and some of the southern borders of Slavonia with the Kaiserreich march, and His Imperial Majesty an invasion by Slavonia, into the border provinces, fears. In light of these circumstances, the Kaiser, an Imperial Conclave has summonsed. And I, as one of his ... vassals?... must the conclave at Wienburg attend. I needs must tomorrow make my departure if am on time for the conclave to be."

"Yes... I see... the timing is, at the very least unfortunate. I expect, any day now, a reinforcement from the Elector of Pommersche to enter the Dutch service ... and had hoped to concentrate my forces once the Pommerschen contingent had arrived. You must, of course, as a matter of duty attend your Emperor, but what of your troops?"

"My army remains, at your disposal, of course. I the command to General von Willich hand over on my return to my Headquarters. I have an English speaking offizier at Headquarters remains ensured. General von Willich will to co-operate fully with you be ordered. I trust that I will no longer than six or eight weeks for the journey, there and back, and at the conclave be detained."

"Six or eight weeks, hey? Well, needs must, of course, but 'tis as you say, not only deuced inconvenient but also most regretful and most dangerous. D'ye know, von Schwerin, it strikes me that we could see the entire continent go up in flames! I thank God for the English Channel!"

"Indeed, Churchill, indeed."

P To the Power of Five (or Preparation and Planning Prevents Poor Performance )

2009-07-05T00:50:00.000-07:00

"The Devil take it, von Smallhausen! This could not have come at a worse time!"

"But, Your Highness will attend?"

"Of course. I have no option; this is not an invitation but an Imperial summons.

"But, Your Highness declined just such a summons not two years past?"

"True, but that summons was signed by the Kaiser's Secretary for Foreign Affairs. This is signed by the Kaiser himself, ergo, I go. I needs must, however, see von Marlbrouk, as planned, before I depart. So, my orders for my coach for this afternoon stand. In the meantime, you and I have much to do. First, a runner to General von Willich – he must take command in my absence. Second, a promotion order. You shall accompany me to Wienburg - under normal circumstances, I should be accompanied by Flick, but I need him to remain at Schloss Neuhaus – you wish to say something?"

"I am flattered of course, Your Highness, but there are matters outstanding here that would greatly benefit from my continued presence."

"Yes, there are matters here that would also benefit from my continued presence, but it cannot not be! Your light o' love shall have to accustom herself to your absence! Ah, that surprises you, does it not? Yes, von Smallhausen, I do have sources of news, other than what you permit me to know!"

"News, Your Highness? Say, rather baseless gossip!"

"Baseless gossip, hey? Well, never mind, let that pass for the nonce. Now, where was I... Oh, yes, young von Rabensthal to be Hauptmann, and to assume his new rank and new duties in your stead, from tomorrow. Now, another runner to my quarters if you please! Kurt is to pack all that I shall require for a period of at least two months, including attire suitable for the Imperial Court. Now, to the journey itself: We, that is you and I, shall undertake the journey in my travelling coach. My second coach shall contain Kurt, your man and a sufficiency of attire. Our mounts shall accompany us, led by our grooms. I shall take my Head Groom and one other – you?"

"Unlike Your Highness, I have only the one groom".

"You may well need a second. Dammit! This disruption of the Reitere could not have come at a worse time!"

"Your Highness..."

"Yes?"

"A thought occurs to me... suppose it were that some... person or persons ill-disposed to us – I mean, Ober Nord Westfalen – had foreknowledge that this summons was on its way, and had then deliberately fomented the unrest between the regimenten?"

"What!? No, no, no... the ill-will between the two corps is long-standing. A spontaneous uproar, having its source according to your theory of a brawl between a few individuals that got out of hand... Or, no, wait... D'ye know, von Smallhausen, you may have reason, after all. Think on, if you please... there was all that trouble 'ere we left home, and although Herr Flick is fairly confident that it was the false Wetherby and his accomplices... We never did ascertain to our complete satisfaction just who was the guilty party... or parties."

"Just so, Your Highness. But may I just remark that the ill-feeling is indeed of long-standing, and is certainly no state secret. Thus the situation should seem to be easily manipulated by persons ill-disposed to us?

"H'mm, yes... very well I shall think upon it."

"And if I may revert to my absence from here? Your Highness will not have forgotten that the task we set Herr Major Kr... er, I mean Monsieur Du Plessis?"

"Oh... yes, of course.”

"May I remind Your Highness that we are the only two persons who have any knowledge of his task? If he should need support, or to communicate with the army, with both of us absent... What shall then happen?”

"Dammit! I said this was a most inconvenient time! There is nothing else for it, we shall have to admit von Rabensthal into our confidence!”

"I am against such a measure, Your Highness."

"Oh, why is that?”

"Well, Your Highness... von Rabensthal is certainly a most efficient deputy for myself. But his sense of discretion has not yet been fully put to the test. To bring an unknown quantity into the equation may yet set at naught all our calculations! It goes against everything that I have learned from Herr Flick!"

"On the other hand, von Rabensthal has shown no sign of being loose-lipped, has he? Otherwise, I assure you, he would not have lasted a week in his employment!"

"It shall, of course, be as Your Highness wills, but before we include the young man in our inner circle, may I beg Your Highness' indulgence for a few hours while I consider what ought best be done?”

"Very well, but I remind you that we do not have many hours!”

"True, Your Highness, but Your Highness will be away from headquarters for this afternoon – and I suspect for much of the evening. Although there is much for me to do, I am persuaded that I shall have sufficient time in which I shall hit upon some stratagem that will obviate the need to fully inform von Rabensthal of the Du Plessis affair.”

"Very well, you may have until my return from von Marlbrouk's headquarters. Absent a satisfactory alternative at that time, we shall summon von Rabensthal and fully inform him of the situation. Now, to the journey."

"As Your Highness wills it.”

"Good. Now,von Smallhausen, you have a map of the German states? Good. Look ye, the most direct route takes us from here to Aachen, Köln, Koblenz, Frankfurt, Nürnberg, München and then to Salzburg and finally Wienburg."

"True, Your Highness, but may I remind Your Highness that Kurfürst Johannes Maximillian of Bayern, is not entirely sympathetic to the Kaiser's claim to the throne of Spannien? It may be the more prudent to take a detour around that Prince's domains?”

"Yes... what do you have in mind?”

"To follow the route suggested by Your Highness until Nürnberg, and then strike further east to Plzn, Brno and then south to Wienburg. For the latter part of the journey we shall thus be safely in the Kaiser's Bohemian realm.”

"Yes... yes... I see your point. Very well. Make it so. We shall need a team of fore-riders, of course, to bespeak changes of horses and accommodations for our journeys. A team of six ought to suffice. And I must have an escort – not only for protection, naturally, but also to mark my position. I really cannot arrive at an Imperial conclave quite unattended!”

"But, Your Highness has just dismounted the Reitere!"

"Yes, von Smallhausen, that fact had not eluded my memory! Dammit, what to do? I needs must have an escort, but I will not appear to be so vacillating as to countermand the orders that I have only just issued!”

"If I may make a suggestion, Your Highness?”

"Yes.”

"Your Highness, although the punishment is richly deserved, it applies to all the personnel of both regimente, does it not?”

"Yes.”

"Surely, Your Highness, it shall be possible to find with the ranks of these regimente sufficient men to furnish an escort; men who did not participate in the riot?”

"Possibly, possibly...”

"Then, Your Highness, permit me to send an order to both regimente requiring them to furnish each a body of men who were not thus involved?”

"Von Smallhausen, I shall need a minimum of one Eskadron. Can it be possible d'ye think?”

"I do not know, Your Highness. All I can do is attempt to find out.”

"Very well, von Smallhausen; make it so."

An Imperial Summons

2009-07-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

Wienburg, 20th Day of May in the Year of Our Lord 1701

To Our Trusty and Well-Beloved Servant Albrecht, Margraf of Ober Nord Westfalen,

Greetings

We are Greatly Troubled by events on Our Northern and Eastern Marches. We have therefore decided that We are in Sore Need of the advice of Our Most Trusted Servants.

To that end Albrecht of Ober Nord Westfalen is summoned to attend an Imperial Conclave in Our Chancellory at Wienburg, commencing on the 14th Day of July in this Year of Our Lord 1701.

Given under Our Hand and Seal at Wienburg
This 20th Day of May in the Year of Our Lord 1701

Leopold
Koening und Kaiser

And Upon Further Consideration...

2009-07-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

"D'ye realise, von Smallhausen that that young man's idea is not all bad?"

"It should certainly serve as a salutary lesson, Your Highness. But..."

"Yes, but what?"

"But, Your Highness, if you will allow me leave. It may be that such a punishment might rebound upon Your Highness' head."

"How so?"

"Your Highness, if you compel the offizieren as well as the soldaten to undergo such a public... well... humiliation, it may well be that many of the offizieren will tender their resignations."

"Yes, I had taken that into consideration, von Smallhausen, and I believe I have the answer."

"Yes, Your Highness?"

"In a word, no, von Smallhausen. Put quite simply, I will not accept the resignation of any officer who is undergoing punishment. If those offizieren desirous of quitting my service then do so, I shall have no compunction in publishing their names as deserters and sequestering any property they might hold. I will be understood; I will have no further such incidents in my army."

"Ah, had you taken into consideration, Your Highness, that such dealings may be thought to be, well... a little high-handed?"

"Yes, I had, and, once more I tell you it concerns me not! If need be,I will echo the Roman Kaiser, Kaligula, who said, I believe, 'let them fear me as much as they will, so long as they obey me!' However, I am optimistic that matters will not come to such a pass. As von Rabensthal has said, they are probably all very much ashamed of themselves, and will take heed that the punishment must be as public as the offence. Also von Smallhausen it occurs to me that the two regimenten may become the butt of quips and sneers from the infanterie."

"That thought, Your Highness, had also crossed my mind!"

"It may well be that the two regimenten may join ranks in defiance of the scorn of the rest of the army, and come to realise that, like it or no, they are part of the same army, and indeed the same brigade!"

"Well... yes, Your Highness, that possibility exists. If it does so chance to occur, had Your Highness considered that sneers, jibes and quips may have two other possible outcomes?"

"And what do you have in mind, von Smallhausen?"

"Well, Your Highness, firstly that each regiment may blame the other for their predicament, and so, resenting their confreres, far from being beneficial, Your Highness' actions may well drive a deeper wedge between the two regimenten?"

"H'mm... you said two possibilities, I believe?"

"Yes, Your Highness, the jeers and jibes may provoke the more hot-blooded among the two regimenten to offset the sneers by further violence."

"Any offizier of either regiment - any offizier, I say, von Smallhausen - that allows his men to become involved in any further disturbance, or issues or receives a challenge over this matter shall speedily find himself with the full power of my wrath poured upon his head!"

"As Your Highness, wills."

"Good, draft out, if you please an order containing the provisions outlined by Herr von Rabensthal, and have it ready for my perusal, by... tomorrow morning."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Is there aught else to which I should today turn my attention?"

"Ah... routine letters from the Schloss, Your Highness... nothing to overly concern... Hello! What's this?"

"Well, what is it, man?"

"A copy of a... court circular... no, 'tis more emphatic than that, a diktat, perhaps?"

"Go on, von Smallhausen, stop dithering!"

"Your Highness, it is from The Summer Palace at Pavlograd, and announces the passing of the Avtokrator Mikhail of Slavonia. He is succeeded it should seem by his second son, Pyotr... what has happened to his elder son?... who has assumed the title of The Avtokrator of Pan Slavia. Your Highness, it is dated some two months ago!"

"Two months! A plague take it! What the devil does Flick think he is about?! Two months!"

"Ah... a moment, I pray you, Your Highness. Here is a covering letter from Herr Flick. He writes that Slavonia had sealed its borders until two weeks ago, and that no news of the change of Avtokrator had reached the outside world until then."

"These demmed Slavonians and their secrecy! But you say this Pyotr has claimed sovereignty over all of the Slavian states?"

"So it would appear, Your Highness."

"But that is madness! The Ostern Reich has sovereignty over some half a dozen or so of these states! The Kaiser will never stand for this! But wait... is not Pyotr Mikhailovitch reckoned to be..."

"Yes, Your Highness, as mad as a rabid wolf - and with about as much self-control - or so it is held by common repute! But, Your Highness, that is not all!"

"What else then, von Smallhausen?"

"Your Highness, Herr Flick writes that Pyotr has issued a defiance to Karl of Skania, demanding that Skania cede its holdings on the south and east coasts of the Baltic, '...upon pain of war'!"

"The plaguey fellow is mad!"

"Undoubtedly so, Your Highness,"

"No, but look ye, von Smallhausen! He has, implicitly, claimed sovereignty over a portion of the Ostern Reich, and now demands further territory from Skania. We must then, assume that Slavonia has reached some accommodation with the Sublime Porte!"

"One would indeed so think Your Highness. Without such an accommodation, Slavonia is faced with enemies to its south, west and north-west. He cannot be so insane, surely?"

"Even if he is, von Smallhausen. Damme! His generals must surely be able to explain unto him the perils of his actions!"

"But, if he is so insane, Your Highness, will he listen to them?"

"Mayhap not... no... you have reason, von Smallhausen. These actions of his may plunge the whole of the north into war! Skanian holdings on the south coast of the Baltic are not too far from Ober Nord Westfalen, and now that I come to think of it, does not their border march with that of Pommersche?"

"Indeed it does, Your Highness."

"That cunning dog Franz Ferdinand! Think ye that Pommersche had prior news of events in Skania, and the object of his oh-so-puzzling mobilisation is in consequence of those events?"

"H'mm, it might well be so, You Highness."

"Von Smallhausen, the more I think on this, the unhappier I become. What the pox does Flick mean by including such vital news in a package of routine letters? I am persuaded he must realise its significance - if not then it is time he retired! Another draft, von Smallhausen, expressing, if you please, and in the strongest terms, my displeasure at Flick's dilatoriness!"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"I must consider... I must consider... Von Smalhausen!"

"Your Highness?"

"Yet another draft, if you please. This one to the Herzog von Marlbrouk, to the effect that I shall do myself the honour of visiting his headquarters... tomorrow... post meridian. Let this letter take precedence over all other matters if you please, and send suitable instructions to the stables. My travelling coach with two outriders to be ready, here by two of the clock tomorrow afternoon!"

"Yes, Your Highness."

Consequences

2009-06-30T23:23:00.000-07:00

"Good Day, Your Highness"

"Von Smallhausen, von Rabensthal".

"Is aught amiss, Your Highness? You seem somewhat distracted?"

"What?... Oh, no... I have just interviewed Herr General Muller."

"Your Highness?"

"Yes, with regard to the disastrous events of the other night concerning the Reitere."

"Ah."

"Yes, von Smallhausen, indeed 'ah'. The good Herr General is absolutely furious - and with reason - he demands courts-martial and hangings all round."

"Yes, Your Highness?"

"The trouble is, von Smallhausen..."

"Do you wish for privacy, Your Highness?"

"What? No, no... stay, von Rabensthal. I have nothing to say that you may not hear."

"Your Highness was saying something about trouble...?"

"Yes. If I followed General Muller's recommendations, then logically, the first court-martial must be his."

"I do not quite understand, Your Highness."

"It is quite simple, von Rabensthal. In this instance that with which we are faced is not an isolated case of indiscipline. If that were all 'twere, then a ganteloupe or a few days salle de police on bread and water should serve to remind the miscreants of their duties of obedience, good order and military discipline. However, we are faced with a complete breakdown of the aforesaid good order and military discipline throughout the mounted arm of this concentration. The soldaten who indulged in the riot must and shall be punished. However, I do not believe that it were only the soldaten involved, from the Chirugeons' reports, it should seem that at least some of the participants were of varying ranks up to and including Unteroffizier! It is not possible to cast two entire regiments into prison - would that it were, for I would do so - from the lowest soldat up to the Hauptfeldwebel! That surprises you, von Rabensthal?"

"Well... yes, Your Highness."

"H'mm, von Smallhausen, mayhap you might be able to enlighten our young friend?"

"I shall try, Your Highness. It is as His Highness has said, von Rabensthal. A complete breakdown of discipline throughout two regimenten. This can only have occurred should the Unteroffizieren and Feldwebelen have been grossly negligent in the application of their responsibilities. That some of them indeed were physically involved in the riot only exacerabates matters. The failure to control their soldaten alone marks them as convicted of failing in their duties. For trusted men to actually have become involved in such a disgraceful affair beggars belief!"

"Under normal circumstances, gentlemen, an Unteroffizier or Feldwebel who betrayed his trust in such a manner should be broken to the ranks! However, when it should seem that the entire corpus of non-commission offizieren is at fault, then how shall the authorities - and ultimately that means me - sanction them as they ought without totally disrupting the entire kavallerie brigade? Moreover, how shall I punish the soldaten and non-commission offizieren when, if their neglect of duty, and the indiscipline within the regimente is so blatant, it should seem that their own offizieren are incapable of detecting it? So, if I punish the non-commission offizieren, then I must equally hold the offizieren culpable and take action against them. If the offizieren of the regimente are at fault, then so must in all logic, equaly be the Brigade staff and heir commander! Unfortunately, I cannot cashier them all - so I needs must consider what action I can take!

"Your Highness, a thought occurs to me..."

"Go on, von Rabensthal."

"Your Highness, it should seem, should it not, that the root of all the friction between the two regimente lies in the immense pride that the soldaten have in their own Regiment?"

"Hah! They must now, indeed, be very proud of themselves!"

"Just so, Your Highness. I make no doubt that now their blood has cooled, that the better soldaten among them are heartily ashamed of themselves and the turn matters took. I would be willing to wager a large sum that there was no intention of turning Aal into a battlefield, and what eventually became a full-scale riot had its inception merely as a brawl between soldiers over some entirely unrelated matter - women, dice, cards, drink, what-have-ye".

"Go on, von Rabensthal, you seem to know about that which you speak!"

"Thank you, Your Highness. You must, I believe, take some action that should indicate your gravest displeasure. May I suggest a possible a remedy?"

"Oh, I must, must I? But, pray continue".

"Your Highness; much of their pride comes from the mere occasion of them being mounted troops. Very well, dismount them!"

"Ah. Von Smallhausen, would you be so king as to explain to our young friend why that oh-so-elegant solution has already been discussed and discarded?"

"Yes, Your Highness. Von Rabensthal, should we indeed adopt your suggestion, then 'twould leave the army bereft of mounted troops. It is not, I make no doubt, impossible to wage modern war without kavallerie, and I also misdoubt that there should be sufficient time to recruit and train replacements. There is laso to be borne in mind the economy of such a step. Kavallerie are vastly more expensive to create and maintain than infanterie, and having spent so much on raising, equipping, mounting and training them, 'twould represent a prodigiously vast loss to the fisc."

"Oh. I see... But..."

"But what, young man?"

"But, Your Highness, what if such a dismounting were to be temporary, and known to be such from the start?"

"How do you mean? The horses shall need still to be cared for - aye and exercised."

"Yes, Your Highness... I pray you have patience a moment... I am trying to reach a logical conclusion as thoughts occur... Eheu - eureka! Your Highness - let the regimente keep their mounts, but order that all duties and marches - until further notice, or for a fixed period whichever Your Highness should take as the better option - be undertaken on foot!"

"Yes, go on..."

"I understand, Your Highness, that one of Your Highness' comments was of the nature that if the troops have energy enough to riot, then they are not doing enough work?"

"True."

"Well, Your Highness, walking any distance in riding boots is sufficiently tiring, and should Your Highness think such a punishment insufficient, then let it be ordered that on the march, or during field days, rather than the horses bearing the weight of saddle and gear, that the soldaten - and their offizieren should carry them!"

"Let me understand this, von Rabensthal. The regimente to keep their horses, but to serve - temporarily - on foot?"

"Just so, Your Highness."

"And when undertaking duties when they should normally be mounted, then the men are to carry their saddles and all their gear?"

"Just so, Your Highness."

"And what of their horses the meantime?"

"Normal stable routine, Your Highness, and when carrying out such duties as require the men to carry their saddlery, then let them lead the horses as well!"

"Von Rabensthal, are you quite, quite persuaded that your family has no links to the infamous Torquemada?"

"The who, Your Highness?"

"Never mind, young man, never mind..."

Decisions, decisions...

2009-06-28T01:33:00.000-07:00

"Well! How came you by this von Smallhausen?"

"My... er... correspondent from Potsburgh delivered it to me last evening Your Highness."

"But, according to the wacht, there were no visitors to headquarters last night?"

"No, Your Highness, but a letter was delivered to me, requesting that I attend he... er... my info... correspondent in one of the local gasthofen."

"So... your... 'er... info... correspondent' would not then prove to be a rather attractive female?"

"Your Highness! I beg of you! Please, the uttermost discretion is required in this matter. The lady in question is merely an old and close friend from my days at Wittenberg. Our relationship is based upon affection, companionship and shared history. Frau Fischer is a member of a well-respected Strasburgh family, and makes the journey from Strasburgh to Amsterdam, where she intends to purchase gem-stones, and has merely stopped for a day or two's rest, and discovered my presence here entirely by chance. I am not held in high esteem by her family, and any mention of my name in connection with hers should perchance cause her some disagreeable attention from her family."

"Very well, then von Smallhausen, let us accept, for the nonce, that the arrival of your correspondent and this lady are events connected by pure coincidence."

"Exactly so, Your Highness."

"So. What to do with this document? It is evident - if the document is accurate - that the Kurfurst of Pommersche has no evil intentions towards his neighbours, but is on the contrary preparing to despatch a force to co-operate with the Herzog von Marlbrouk! I ask myself, is Marlbrouk aware of this? And if not, do we tell him of our belief, or maintain a a discreet silence?"

"Oh, the latter of course, Your Highness. It would not be prudent to rely upon this Englischer's ability to conceal his knowledge of our knowledge from others - particularly those of Pommersche - and such disclosure may lead to inconvenient questions as to by what means we gained our knowledge. I - and Herr Flick - would infinitely prefer that our interest in events in Potsburgh and Brandenstadt remain concealed."

"I see... But why are we interested in events in Pommersche?"

"Your Highness, in this unsettled world, we of the Sekretariat take an interest in the thoughts words and deeds of many of the states of Germania. Official despatches from the various capitals are not always the tr... are not always entirely accurate or reliable. Past experience indicates, nay, impels that we maintain discreet observation of those princes that might, as is said, er... rock the boat. Not all rulers are happy with the results of the Treaty of Westfalen, let alone the results of other, more recent disturbances."

"H'mm, I am aware Herr Flick has agents at large in certain, potentially inimical, areas of the Kaiserreich, but am I to understand that I, through the Sekretariat, have a far-flung network of spies?"

"Spies, Your Highness? The Good Lord forbid! Merely some individuals to whom the sicherheit of Ober Nord Westfalen is dear. As to a far-flung network, Your Highness, I could not, with any certainty say yea or nay. I know only of some few correspondents, with whom I deal. What of Herr Flick's correspondents, I cannot say!"

"Be plain with me, if you please, von Smallhausen. 'Some individuals'? You would have me believe that love of Ober Nord Westfalen motivates a variety of people to send you - and Herr Flick - information that may impact on ourselves, particularly should the correspondent be uncovered and swift and condign punishment should follow?. Come, come von Smallhausen, that's coming it far too strong!"

"Indeed, no, Your Highness. I see that complete openness only will serve here! It is true that there are one or two individuals who correspond with us out of love of our homeland, or out of friendship with Herr Flick and myself, but it must be admitted that the majority of them do so in return for monetary considerations."

"Hah! Tell me, von Smallhausen, does it not say in the Book that 'the love of money is the root of all evil'?

"It does indeed, Your Highness. However, the amounts disbursed by Herr Flick and myself, while seemingly generous to the recipients, are generally of little substance. There are occasions, however - and this is one of them - that real generosity is required, in order to reward exceptional service."

"I see... so you want me to empty my purse into the hands of this... correspondent of yours?"

"No, no, Your Highness. But I would wish that you set your signature to this bill of exchange in order to ensure the continued good-will of this particular correspondent, and as mark of appreciation for the very real risks taken, as Your Highness has observed."

"Let me see it. What! Ten thousand Marken! Are you mad, von Smallhausen? And who is this Mlle Eloise de Chardonnay - a Franklander?"

"No, no Your Highness, Mlle Eloise is, despite her name, a good German."

"Even so! Ten thousand Marken!"

"Your Highness. It is impossible, for a variety of reasons, for Mlle Eloise to return to Pommersche. Indeed it is imperative that she disappear entirely. The generosity of the reward is, in part occasioned by the value of the document that she brought here, and in part by the need for Mlle Eloise to ... ah... re-invent herself! I have great hopes that in her new role, she shall provide us with timely news of intentions and events in Frankland. She can hardly do so, but that she has the entree to the Polite World of Parisian society".

"H'mm... I suppose not. Certainly the information contained in this memorandum is of great potential value; can you be sure that any further information shall be of equally significant worth?"

"Your Highness, no, I cannot entertain any such certainty. It is in the nature of Mlle Eloise' s occupation that there is always great doubt, as well as great risk. It is, I most respectfully submit, consequently most fitting that the rewards should be commensurate."

"Very well then, I shall sign the bill. But mark you, von Smallhausen, should this correspondent of yours disappear with the money then my wrath shall most assuredly be visited upon you!"

'Twixt Fire and Water?

2009-06-25T05:06:00.000-07:00

"Your pardon, Herr Hauptmann, I know you did not wish to be disturbed, but this letter has just arrived for you."

"And?"

"Herr Hauptmann, it is marked 'urgent', and was delivered by a lackey from the De Zwarte Adelaar - Der Schwarze Adler."

"I see. Very well, I'll take it! Thank you!"

"H'mm, 'My Very Dear Erich...'. Von Rabensthal! Von Rabensthal!"

"Yes, Herr Hauptmann?"

"A message to the stables, if you please! My bay horse to be saddled and outside my quarters within the next ten minutes! If His Highness enquires for me, I am going to my quarters to shift my dress, and then I am going out! I am not quite certain at what time I shall return. In the meantime, here are the orders for tomorrow. Please check them for accuracy and then have six copies made and on my desk to await my return!"

"Of course, Herr Hauptmann. But if His Highness should enquire for your whereabouts, what shall I tell hi... Herr Hauptmann! Herr Hauptmann!"

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Erich! How very pleasant to see you again!"

"Madam, I wish I could say the same! Are you mad!? What are you doing here!? I had supposed you to be snug in Potsburgh!"

"Unfortunately, Erich, Potsburgh is such a bore! All those Pommerschen, all so very serious. 'Pon rep, Erich 'twas dull beyond belief!"

"Dull? I had supposed you to be enjoying the Pommersche society!"

"Oh, tol-lol, Erich. One endeavours to enjoy one's work, otherwise 'tis so tedious!"

"So. You abandon your task because you were bored!? I had thought better of you madam!"

"Oh, Erich!... and I had thought that you would be pleased to see me!"

"I would have been better pleased if you had stayed where I had sent you!"

"Erich, I protest! 'Tis prodigiously unkind in you! Upon my soul, I do believe you are become as tedious as those benighted Pommerschen! I am quite put out by your reception! I am of a mind not to give you the gift which I brought especially for you!"

"Gift? What gift?"

"Oh, 'tis merely a manuscript in which I had thought you might be interested. I know how you love to gather knowledge! Here."

"A manuscipt? What nonsense is this, madam?"

"Read it and find out!"

"Very well... God above! Isabelle, do you know what this is!?"

"Of course I do. I would hardly bring you something the nature of which was unknown to me!"

"Isabelle, this is a memorandum from the Pommerschen War Ministry. It gives details of every single regiment, their station, their Inhabern and their strength! How, in the name of all that's holy did it come into your possession?"

"Oh, quite easily, my dear. I had established, er... cordial relations, with one of the deputy ministers in Potsburgh..."

"Cordial relations?"

"Just so, my dear. I confess, sadly, that he was not the most exciting lover I have had. That however, is bye the bye. But really my dear Erich, read on, I pray you."

"But... but... this is incredible. It is the Pommerschen war plans! Look: what regiment is to carry out what task, when the task is to be completed, what date the regiments are to move! Isabelle, this is a master stroke! But, how shall you to conceal this... acquisition, and how shall you now return to Potsburgh?"

"I am afraid Erich, that my return to Potsburgh is now entirely ineligible! You see, I had to find some reason to leave Pommersche, and to that end I, ah..., engineered... a violent quarrel with my protector and left Potsburgh toute de suite! Quite simply, my dear, I did not think it expedient to entrust that package to a common carrier, and believed that we would both be best served were I to convey it in person. My return there now would cause a great deal of eyebrow rasing, and 'tis not impossible, that dull dogs though they are, some Pommersche with more than the average intellect may have connected my disappearance with the disappearance of that document which you are so fervently clutching! Which brings me to my next topic: I found Pommersche to be so dreary that I positively yearn for laughter, gaiety and music. I am of a mind to seek solace in Paris. 'Tis a city the which I have always been enamoured, and I am sure that I can be of some value to you while I take my ease there!"

"Paris! No, no...ah... wait! Perhaps so... What have you in mind?"

"Ah, Erich, you no longer see before you Witwe Isabelle Fischer, but rather Mademoiselle Eloise de Chardonnay, a single lady of independent mind and means, a native of Strasburgh and travelling to Paris on the qui vive for an eligible parti! Oh, and some new gowns! My wardrobe, my dear is positively dowdy! I fear that I must look a perfect quiz!""

"Yes, yes, of course, Strasburgh will serve, It shall excuse any slight accent that might betray your origins. Do you have the necessary papers?"

"How ungallant 'tis in you! You should never let pass the opportunity to compliment and reassure a lady on her looks! But, I thank you, Erich, yes I do have the necessary papers! However, as I have proposed, I am to be a lady of independent means, and sadly, means are severely lacking at the moment."

"Yes?"

"I thought, dear Erich, that you might be so good as to..."

"Unfortunately, Isabelle, or Eloise, specie is in markedly short supply at the present. However, I can probably furnish you with sufficient funds to reimburse your travel from Potsburgh and to enable you to complete your journey in comfort."

"Oh, Erich, dearest Erich, is not that parcel worth just a teeny little bit more than subsistence?"

"For my part, Isabelle, in return for such a document as this, I would empty the Schloss treasury! But, I cannot make such a decision without weighing carefully the benefits and consequences. Are you in great haste to reach Frankland?"

"I confess, it shall be much easier to reach Paris, if it could be managed, before the outbreak of open hostilities."

"So, a delay of day or two shall not weigh heavily in the scales?"

"No... this Inn, primitive 'though 'tis, is not so markedly uncomfortable. But 'tis an inn for travellers, how shall I explain my inexplicable delay in departing this place?"

"Let me think a minute. Ah! I have it! Unless you should think the scheme ineligible?"

"Yes, go on, my dear"?

"By receiving me here in a private parlour, you are already somewhat compromised. We shall offer explanations to none, but let people think what they will - and 'tis bound to be the worst! We shall pretend to be lovers!"

"Oh Erich! 'Tis positively brilliant. No one shall think it strange that you visit me here! But... pretend...?"

Disturbing Developments

2009-06-23T00:12:00.000-07:00

"Well, von Smallhausen, this document makes for disturbing reading, interesting but disturbing. It should seem that the Kurfurst of Pommersche has been very busy! Thirty Regiments of Foot, which I assume means fifteen battalions of Grenadiers - a dozen or so Regiments of Kurassier and Dragoner, and two Regiments of Fusiliers! Now, what do you think they are?"

"It should seem, Your Highness, that they are troops armed with a fusil. That would make sense if the remainder were still armed with matchlocks - but that cannot be the case, surely?"

"I don't know... Pommersche is not a rich state, and to raise and equip such a host with the most modern muskets may be beyond its abilities. Numbers do matter, von Smallhausen, and if Franz Ferdinand should throw his whole army against a single Land, then pace alliances, that prince would find himself in dire straits!"

"True, Your Highness, but all my correspondent writes is that he has mustered his army. Not that they have been put into motion."

"Yes... but I don't like it. Can your, er... correspondent not dig a little deeper and try to ascertain just what that prince's motives might be?"

"Indeed, Your Highness, I devoutly hope so! In fact I have sent a missive, requesting just that!"

"You have, eh? Good. Let us hope that this martial pose represents no threat to Ober Nord Westfalen!"

"Indeed, Your Highness."

"What else does the day's correspondence bring us?"

"Sadly, Your Highness, General Muller submits a report of a riot between troops of the first and second Regimente of Reiteren! It should seem that their billets are so close together that contact between the two Regimenten is unavoidable! The Burgermeister of Aal, has written to demand that Your Highness recompense those of his citizens who had property destroyed and damaged during the course of the affray."

"Gods above! Is it not enough that we are on the brink of war, that these idiots must start battles amongst themselves! Just how bad was this riot, von Smallhausen?"

"It should seem, Your Highness, that sadly, it was a most sanguinary affair! There were, thank God, no fatalities, but a total of eighty four individuals required the attentions of the Chirugeon after the fact."

"Eighty four! Gods above, were they armed?"

"It should seem, Your Highness, that side-arms were indeed taken into use. I fear the toll would have been much higher had not Oberst Langer used his own regiment to get between the warring factions. It should seem that a dozen or so of the injuries were incurred by IR Nummer 3!"

"Langer was ordered to stop this riot?"

"Er,... No, Your Highness... Not exactly. It should seem that the Herr Oberst and a party of his offizieren were enjoying the hospitality of one of the Gasthoffen in the village when the riot erupted, and he took it upon himself to try and restore order. Of course, it took some time to reach his regiment and deploy them, but it should seem that without his intervention, matters could have taken a decided turn for the worse!"

"If Langer acted upon his own intiative, then the question must be asked: Where were General Muller and the Offizieren of both Reiter Regimente?"

"The Herr General, his staff and the Regimental Staff of both Reiter Regimente were in conference."

"In conference!?"

"Just so, Your Highness. It should seem that the Herr General, although satisfied with the proficiency of each regiment is less happy with the fact that the Oberst of each should appear to have evolved their own system of drill and commands, so in the interest of command in the field, and to arrive at some commonality of method, the Herr General decided to take advantage of the fact that the two regimente were quartered in proximity."

"Yes, I see... Well, that matter will have to wait or a while until we can get to he bottom of this mess! My own feelings are that if the troops have sufficient energy to fight a pitched battle amongst themselves then they are not being worked hard enough!"

"As to that, Your Highness, I really could not venture an opinion. But..."

"Yes, von Smallhausen?"

"Your Highness, I realise that the method of paying the troops quarterly has its roots in the usage of the ancient Romans, but reflect a moment: Once a quarter the troops receive what is to them, a large amount of money; they are away from home, away from the censorious gaze of their fellow-citizens and families. As Your Highness has suggested, they seem to have a surplus of energy, it is no wonder that high spirits, under such circumstances should arrive at a point where they are no longer under control."

"The troops, or their high spirits? No... never mind, either way such an event must not occur again! But, I interrupt you... had you a remedy in mind?"

"Well... Your Highness, it seems to me that if the troops were paid by the month, rather than the quarter, then they would ave less funds at any given time, and would not therefore be tempted to attempt to spend three months' pay in one night!"

"H'mm... it may well be so. But there are problems... Such a scheme would necessitate extra work for the paying offizieren."

"True, Your Highness. But on the other hand there are other advantages."

"Indeed?"

"Oh, yes, Your Highness; for example Your Highness would no longer need to keep such a vast amount of specie on hand. If Your Highness would consent to consider for a moment: what would have been the effect on the State if the bullion consignment from Schloss Neuhaus had been intercepted. Could Ober Nord Westfalen have stood to lose one hundred thousand Marken? Could Your Highness have afforded to replace the consignment without delay? What would have bee the state of mind of the troops if they had found out that their pay was likely to be a month - or even more - in arrears? I need hardly point out that very few of them would have had any money left from their previous pay issue."

"Yes... true enough. Very well, I shall take your suggestion under consideration. In the meantime... what to do? I could follow Roman practice and have the two regimente decimated, but that I feel would not be acceptable in this age!"

"Indeed not, Your Highness."

"'Indeed not', is that all you have to contribute?"

"Your Highness, If I may make so bold, may I remind Your Highness, that despite my present apparel and trappings that I am not really a military man! I would hesitate, therefore to make any suggestions on the questions of order and discipline."

"Yes, true enough... You have such a solid grasp of military detail that sometimes I forget that your are only an offizier pro tempore!"

"Your Highness is too kind. But if Your Highness will allow...?"

"Yes, go on."

"Your Highness, before our departure from Schloss Neuhaus, Your Highness had ordered the formation of a constabulary in order to maintain heimatsicherheit. Would it not be possible to form some such organisation here with the army, with the specific task of maintaining good order and military discipline?"

"It is a thought. Again, I needs must reflect upon it. Is there anything else this morning to dismay me?"

"There is one other matter, Your Highness. I have received a communication from... well, the writer has successfully reached Frankland, and is casting about for a commission in the Franklander army."

"You mean...? Oh... yes. Good. Keep me informed of any results!"

"Of course, Your Highness."

News from Abroad

2009-06-16T12:06:00.001-07:00

At Dienst
The United Provinces

The 14th Day of April in the Year of Our Lord 1700

Dearest Mama and Pa,

I trust in the Lord that this leter findes you as I left you, in goode hellth. You must forgiv mee for not setting pen to paper earlier than I have done, butt wee have been very busy, marching all over the Low Countries. I am verry well and fele much stronger than I hav ever done so befor. Eeven so, I have found some of the marches verry wearying, but unlike sum of my por comraeds, who have sunk under the wate of their arms and eqkwipment, I am able to prowdly claim that I have, so far - and thank the Lord - kept with columm, as wee saye in the army.

That I hav dun so, is mosetly doow to the help and enkurrachment wich my comraeds hav givven to me. I am in the first gruuppe of the second sektion in Nummber Too Kompagnie. Our Chefe in the Sektion is an Obergefreiter, by Name Kurt Schulendorf. He is verry eksperiensed, and has bene a soldier for a long tyme. He is abowt forty years of age I think, and does nott hav to pouder his hair, because itt is alreddy wite. He says he hass bene a solier alle his lyfe and thatt he first fort with Hermann der Cherusker when that Genral d'feeted the Rowmans under their Kaiserr Warus , but I think he is mayking a game of uss when he says so. I do nott beleeve thatt he is thatt Olde, because the Rowmans wer Italians, I think, and I can nott remember heering telle of any Italians fiting in Germann lander for menny ajes. Butt he is a good comraed and lookes after us all verry well, altho' he cann be feerce wenn on dooty and sumboddy does summthing he does not lyke. My comraeds call hym 'Onkel Kurt, or 'Grossvatti', and hee calls uss 'Kinder,' butt nott of course wenn on dootie. Hee is verry fond of his pype, and he has a nummber of them, shorte claye ones, wich freekwently brake, as is their wont! And Oh, he does kurse wenn that happens! Butt he is nott a bad fellow - I feer thatt kursing goes on alle the tyme, but I do nott kurse, of course.

Hee is also verry wyse and noes exactly where the best and cheepest extra provisions maye be hadde. The armie food is kwite goode, but itt is onelie bread and meate. Onkel Kurt sayes thatt to be healthie a man must eet alsoe vegetibels and egges. Hee sayes thatt hard-boiled egges are verrie goode and thatt a man cann never have enuff of themm. He tells uss ware the best of everiethingge maye be hadde and howe much we shudd paye for itt. Hee does nott like itt when soldiers steel from the peeple of the country - hee sayes thatt they are mosetly pore menn like uss and thatt we shud nott stele from the pore. Hee warns too abowt the risks of strong likkors, and sayes thatt menny a mann has been browt lowwe by them, and telles uss that we shudd drinke onlie the beere. I do nott like the the lokal schnapps - itt is called Hollands - and the bier is verry stranje. It is verry pale and feles thin in the mowthe, and itt does nott kwentsch your thurste, butt leaves youer mowthe feleing drie and stikky. Butt to bee a good comraed one must joyne in with your fellowes, and so I am lerning to lyke itt! I am karefull tho' not too spend too much! Owr paye has arived, and Onkel Kurt hass tolde uss thatt hee does nott want any of uss to throwe owr munny awaye in gaymes of chance, butt thatt wee shudd sayve owr munney in case of unforseen thinges happening. He hass mayde an arranjement with a lokal merchant, soe thatt wee maye sende owr munney home. I have kept for myeself one Groschen owt of everie three thatt we have bene payde, and I have given the reste to the merchant, so that he maye send you a 'Bill of Exchanje' which you can gett the munney for at the house of Walther Langenkerel, a merchant att Schloss Neuhaus. I did thiss yesterday, and Mynheer van Rijn - the Hollands Merchant - sayes thatt you shudd gett the bill in abowt three weekes.

Itt mite be thowt that it wudd bee diffikultt to ecsplane to a forrenner whatt I wanted, butt the peeple here speke a verry stranje sort of Germann, it remyndes mee of the sorte of German that the olde country-peeple att home speke. Butt if we alle speke verry sloely and lissen harde thenn wee cann unnderstand wun another.

Well, thatt is alle my newes fore now. Soe prayinge thatt Godde has you sayfe in Hiss Keepinge this is fairewell fore the tyme from your luvvinge sunne,

Albericht

(Soldat Albericht Zimmermann
Nr 2 Kompagnie, 1er Bon, Infanterie Regiment Nr 2)

Orders and (Mis)information

2009-06-07T03:11:00.000-07:00

"Now, von Smallhausen, have you drafted the orders?"

"Indeed, yes, Your Highness: 'His Highness desires that the Garde Regiment zu Fuss and Reiter Regiment Nummer 1, under Generalmajor Muller, to form the avant-garde of the army and to proceed and to to take up quarters on the 17th inst at Diest. The picquets of the left and right columns will communicate by daily patrols with the Garde Regiment zu Fuss and Reiter Regiment Nr 1.

"Generalleutnant Freiherr Karl-Wilhelm von Willich is requested to direct the details of the Left Column and Generalmajor Kranitz the right; and they will be so good as to order detachments of the reitere and infanterie to form the avant-garde of the column under their command and the outposts and piquest of the coloumns will communicate by daily patrols with the Garde Regiment zu Fuss and Reiter Regiment Nr 1.

"The general offizieren commanding columns will fix the order in which troops and their baggage are to march in the column. The troops in the left column will march by their right and the right column by their left.

[Signed] E von Smallhausen
Military Secretary'"

"Very good, von Smallhausen; make it so. Now, you were saying that you had received a communication...?"

"Yes, Your Highness; it is from a correspondent in Brandenstadt. It should seem that the Kurfurst of Pommersche is flexing his military muscles. My infor..., ah... correspondent has furnished me with what seems to be a fairly comprehensive order of battle of the Kurfurst's forces, although with what intent the Prince has mustered his army is not yet clear.."

"Pommersche? What has Pommersche to do with us?"

"It should seem, Your Highness, that that particular Prince is extremely ambitious, and may take advantage of any upcoming unrest to to seize any advantage, military or political, that may arise as a result of the Kaiser's preoccupation with the the question of Frankland's ambitons regarding Spannien."

"Yes, that is understood, but Brunsland and Hannunter both lie between us and the nearest of Pommersche's provinces. We should be safe enough from any attempt by Pommersche to seize territory that is held by others."

"True enough, Your Highness, and under normal circumstances I should share your confidence. But Your Highness cannot have forgotten that at least some of the army of the Kurfurst of Hannunter is already present here in the United Provinces, and given the Kaiser's wish that the Kaiserreich resist any attempts at aggrandisement by Frankland, it is not unreasonable to suppose that the Herzog von Brunsland will also take the field? Moreover , Your Highness, with Herr General von Prostler preoccupied with events on our Northern frontier with the Vikland, a rapid march by the Kurfurst of Pommersche may yield highly undesirable results."

"Hmm... true enough, von Smallhausen. Do you have this letter to hand? It may be that I had better read it myself."

"Certainly, Your Highness, and may I add that I have replied to my age... er, correspondent and asked he... er, him, most discreetly of course, to endeavour to discover what the Kurfurst's ambitions might entail?"

"Ye have, have ye? Yes, well done, von Smallhausen; and thank you."

Orders - Fetch Officer!

2009-05-31T11:21:00.000-07:00

"So, von Smallhausen, have you had time yet to verify General Himmelstoss' calculations?"

"Indeed, Your Highness. The estimable General seems - I dare say, for once - to be absolutely correct. By adopting sea-transport, the time taken to transport supplies from Ober Nord Westfalen is reduced by between one quarter and one third, depending always on wind and weather and the will of God! Moreover, Your Highness, by transporting large quantities in bulk, the cost of transport is reduced by a similar amount."

"Good! Very good! Let me see that map.... ah, yes...Oostende would be the logical port of arrival, unless we can gain access to the Scheldt! so, a letter to Herr General Himmelstoss, if you please. He is to instigate water-borne transport forthwith, and is to move his centre of operations, under a reliable deputy to Oostende. The Herr General is to remain in Ober Nord Westfalen to ensure that everything goes smoothly in that place. To be ready for signature first thing in the morning, if not before."

"Very good, Your Highness. Now if Your Highness will indulge me?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"I have received a communication from..."

"Yes! Come in! Von Rabensthal, what is it?"

"I beg Your Highness' pardon for this intrusion, but there is an Englischer Offizier just arrived with despatches from the Herzog von Marlbrouk. As far as I can understand him, he insists that he see you at once!"

"Very well, I am at home, and perfectly available to meet visitors, show the gentleman in... Oh, and von Rabensthal, you speak Englisch, do you not?"

"Why, yes, Your Highness. Well, after a fashion that is..."

"Very well, it might be advantageous if you stayed. Show the gentleman in."

"Your Highness?"

"Yes."

"The Margrave of Ober Nord Westfalen?"

"Yes."

"Sir, If I may introduce myself: I am Captain, er... Kapitan..., er... Hauptmann! Hauptmann Robert Manners, of His Majesty's second Regiment of Horse, on duty as an extra Aide de Camp to His Grace the Duke of Marlborough, and at your service, sir!"

"A good evening to you Captain. Tell me, would you be more comfortable if we spoke in English?"

"By God Sir! I would indeed! Thank you! Sir, I am commanded by his Grace, the Duke of Marlborough, to deliver into your hands this package. His Grace desires that you make a movement to the south-west, in order that our armies may be better placed to act in concert should the need arise."

"I see. But, tell me, Captain, if that is the meat of the matter, why the despatch?"

"Sir, His Grace is aware that your had previously been imposed upon by an individual representing himself as a member of His Majesty's army, and in order that no such further deception may occur, His Grace has taken the precaution of reducing his wishes to writing!"

"I see. Well, Captain, I must, perforce read these desires, that His Grace has taken the trouble to write. Von Rabensthal, pray be so good as to provide refreshment for the good Captain. If you will excuse me, captain?"

Fall Out

2009-05-26T09:50:00.001-07:00

"Good Evening, Your Highness, Herr Hauptman."

"Good Evening, von Rabensthal - what's this, more despatches?"

"Ah, not exactly, Your Highness... it should seem that this a pouch of letters from the Schloss. There are several for Your Highness, and two for the Herr Hauptmann..."

"Good! Well, don't just stand there man, hand them over! Ah, Herr Flick, Herr Flick, General von Postler - more complaints about Flick, I should suppose. Another from Herr Flick - I wonder if he writes to complain of the Herr General? Ah... one..., two..., three from Her Highness! That should keep me quiet for an hour or so" - have you seen my lady's hand writing, von Smallhausen? Quite indecipherable - even when she doesn't write in Bohemian!"

"If Your Highness, will allow...?"

"Yes, von Rabensthal?"

Your Highness, Herr General von Willich presents his respects, and requests an interview."

"Very well, when is a convenient time?"

"Your Highness misunderstands me; the Herr General is in the ante-chamber and respectfully requests that you see him now."

"Oh, he does, does he. H'mm... I had meant to read my correspondence before dinner, but if the Herr General wishes to speak about that which I suspect, then I shall save the letters, so that they may restore my contentment. Very well, ask the Herr General to come in - no von Smallhausen, there is no need for you to leave."

"Your Highness, General von Willich begs the indulgence of some few moments of your time!"

"Yes, Herr General, I am aware. What is it that is so urgent?"

"Your Highness, I am come to intercede on behalf of Major Kramer."

"Yes, go on."

"Your Highness's actions this afternoon have shaken - badly shaken - the officer corps' trust in Your Highness's governance of the army. It is generally felt that although Major Kramer is, perhaps at fault, that Your Highness's actions were peremptory, over-drastic and arbitrary. Good officers have been heard to wonder if they too shall be summarily dismissed as a result of occurrences outwith their control"

"But that is just the point, Herr General; the occurrences which led to my dismissal of Major Kramer were not outside his control! There is no 'perhaps' in the question of his culpability. He is - was - the bataillon commander and is responsible for everything that occurs with his command. That dictum, Herr General, holds true for every officer in the army. You command the foot, therefore I hold you equally to blame for the shameful state of affairs currently pertaining. I should not have been compelled to intervene; action to rectify the situation should have been taken by Kramer's regimental commander, and you, Herr General, should have seen that it was so! As I said this afternoon, your soldiers are my subjects. I have the right, the duty and responsibility to ensure that while they serve in my army, they receive as much care and attention as it is possible to afford them. I have no wish to be remembered by history as the Margraf who lost his army before they had fired a shot."

"Your Highness. I am deeply ashamed of my own failings in this matter, and I assure you that I do not absolve myself from blame - I have made much the same sort of speech to my Obersts this afternoon, but at the same time, I beg of you to reconsider your decision. The punishment, Your Highness, does not fit the crime."

"Do you dare to stand there and criticise me, Herr General?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"I thought so! Herr General, I find myself, unwillingly perhaps, in some degree of sympathy with your position. It had always been my intention that after a period of reflection, in which he might consider his failings, to have Major Kramer restored to duty. However, Major Kramer has made it impossible for me to rescind my orders."

"May I ask how, Your Highness?"

"As you will recall, I instructed Major Kramer to hand over his bataillon and report here. He has not done so. I despatched member of my staff, and a file of musketiers to remind Kramer of his orders. On reaching his quarters they found that he had vanished. His rooms were empty, he his servants, his horses, his carriage and his groom are all disappeared. I am on the point of sending a despatch to the Schloss, requiring that when Kramer returns to Ober Nord Westfalen, that he is placed under arrest for desertion, and held in custody until I shall see fit to adjudicate his case. So you see, Herr General, it is now impossible, under any circumstances for Kramer to be reinstated. It is his family for whom I feel sorry; the shame will be almost unsupportable."

"I may put your mind at rest, Your Highness. Major Kramer has no family. He is not married, and is an only child. His parents are both deceased."

"A blessing in disguise, indeed, Herr General."

"If Your Highness says so!"

"Indeed I do. Was there anything else, Herr General? No..., then thank you. It is gratifying to know that, apart from the impact of this salutary lesson, at least one of my Officers is willing to tell me that he thinks I have made an error of judgement."

"Your Highness!"

"Well, von Smallhausen... just as you predicted! It really is odd, that a dedicated officer like Kramer should choose to indulge in disobedience at such a time!"

"Indeed, Your Highness; yet I am sure that Major Kramer is even now diligently carrying out his orders!"

"Oh, I hope so, I really do hope so, von Smallhausen!"

Shock Tactics

2009-05-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

"Abteilung - Stille gestande!"

"Are all all present?"

"Yes, Your Highness, as ordered! Three General Officers and the commander of each regiment and bataillon."

"Gentlemen, you are here because you labour under my gravest displeasure!"

"Your Highness, in what manner have we displeased you, I ..."

"Herr General! You are at attention! Gentlemen - and I use the term advisedly - I am appalled! I have here this week's sick report for the entire army - and what do I find from perusing this list? I find that over thirty percent - that is out of every ten men, three, are sick of a bloody flux! I repeat - I am appalled! What are you about!? I find upon further investigation - did you think my visits of this morning were a social call? I find that the regulations laid down for the siting and use of watering points are disregarded on every hand! Let me make our relative positions absolutely clear: I command - you obey, is that clear? Good! Now, I am no medical man, therefore I take pains to appoint as Physician-General to the Army one of the most qualified practitioners of the art that can be found within the borders of Ober Nord Westfalen, and - ! and to make it sufficiently clear to all, I grant this excellent physician a commission as Physician General - note, Gentlemen: Physician General. That, Gentlemen means that he outranks, absolutely, all but three of you. And in matters concerning the health of the army he outranks those three. Further, when issuing medical directives, the Herr Doktor Arzt-General speaks with my voice! I do not expect you to disobey my orders, ergo, I do not expect you to disobey medical directives issued by that gentleman. The Herr Doktor Arzt-General's directives concerning the siting and use of water points are to be implemented immediately. You may each expect a further visit from me within the next two days!"

"Major Kramer?"

"Yes, Your Highness?"

"Major Kramer, I find that your bataillon has a sick rate approaching fifty percent. This situation argues for gross negligence; therefore, you are relieved of your command. Hand over your bataillon to your senior Hauptmann and return to my Headquarters, there to await my arrival pending your further disposition - you are dismissed."

"Gentlemen, you look as if you had seen a ghost! Let me make my position known unto you! Your soldiers are my subjects. It is one thing - bad enough - to ask them to lose their lives in the face of the enemy, it is another thing - and a much worse thing - a shameful thing - to let them die of neglect. Let Major Kramer's fate be a lesson to you all! You are dismissed!"

Prodigality and Profligacy

2009-05-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

"Von Smallhausen! What are you doing here?"

"Yes, and a good morning to you, Your Highness, Leutnant."

"Herr Hauptmann."

"Er... yes, of course. good morning, von Smallhausen, but I repeat: What are you doing here? Why are you not in your bed?".

"Your Highness, to your first, I am returning to duty. To your second, If I stay any longer in bed, I shall grow saddle sores, and take even longer to recover. In all seriousness, Your Highness, I have been absent from duty for far too long, and although I am deeply grateful for your forbearance, I have prevailed upon the good Herr Doktor to release me for duty."

"Are you quite sure about this, von Smallhausen?"

"I could not be more certain of anything, Your Highness."

"H'mm... I hesitate to give you the lie direct, von Smallhausen, but the Herr Doktor assured me it would be ten days before you were back on your feet."

"Indeed, Your Highness, he promised me the same, but I was able to persuade him that I would make a swifter recovery if I could be usefully employed, rather than laying in bed and fretting."

"Well, if that should be the case, then I think, that a small celebration to mark your return to duty is in order. Von Rabensthal, I believe the rogue of a land lord at De Gouden Gans has a store of some excellent twelve-year old burgundy. Pray, take yourself thence, and bring back a bottle - no, stay - make that two bottles."

"Now, Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen, that von Rabensthal is out of the way, you and I have a crow to pluck!"

"Indeed, Your Highness?"

"Yes! Indeed! Did you not solemnly affirm to me that your injury was due to act of hubris and carelessness on your part - resulting in a fall from your horse?"

"Ah, not quite, Your Highness."

"Von Smallhausen, I distinctly remember you saying that it was all carelessness on your part."

"Indeed it was, Your Highness."

"But... but you have just said 'not quite'?"

"Just so, Your Highness."

"What then, von Smallhausen, is 'just so' and what is 'not quite'?"

"Your Highness, I was telling the truth when I say that the injury was my fault, however I was guilty of misleading you when I allowed you to suppose that it was the result, rather than the cause, of my falling from my horse."

"So, von Smallhausen, you received the injury before you fell?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"I see. And this injury left a sliver of metal in your flesh?"

"So it should seem, Your Highness."

"Now, von Smallhausen, I must have been extraordinarily obtuse, because, until the Her Doktor told me of the metal - ah, steel, I believe - in your shoulder, I failed to make the connection between the sudden cessation of attacks upon my officers, by a member of the Elector's forces, and your wound. However, while you have been confined to your bed, I was entertained by two Fahnenjunkern who - and their buttocks have smarted for it - recounted to me a remarkable tale of youthful stupidity, vaunting ambition, a foolhardy plan and the thwarting of that plan by yourself!"

"Oh."

"Yes, indeed 'oh'. So, am I to take it that you challenged this Hannunteran Officer and received your wound in that manner?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"So, in what manner can be it blamed on carelessness?"

"Your Highness, I have no wish to brag, nor to confess that particular act of stupidity."

"Understood. But I shall know what happened."

"Very well, Your Highness, if you must have it so. As you have guessed, I provoked the Hannunteran, a Rittermeister Pataki, into drawing his sword. My intention had been to humiliate him, and to deliver a crippling wound. Alas, I was not able to do so."

"How so?"

"Your Highness, he was an accomplished swordsman. And in a very few passes, I realised that he was as good, if not better than myself. We were evenly matched, and I was only able to defend, until his point dropped in a feint, and I launched a coup de deux veuves..."

"A what?"

"A new attack, Your Highness, developed by Messire Andre of Paris, hence its name. It is a variation on the stop-thrust, relying on the neglect of defence in favour of the attack. Its name means..."

Yes, von Smallhausen, I speak enough Frankish to translate 'a two widows' strike'.

"Yes, Your Highness. The stroke went slightly amiss, and my blade made contact with his sword arm, inflicting a severe wound, and causing him to drop his weapon. I assumed the fight was over, and lowered my guard - that was the hubris and neglect - but he switched his blade to his left hand and hurled himself at me. Then it was that I received my wound, and to my regret, I was forced to kill him."

"Regret, von Smallhausen?"

"Indeed, Your Highness. It is no small thing to me to take a man's life."

"But he would cheerfully have killed you - as indeed he has others."

"This is true, Your Highness, but then I am not a professional duellist."

"And this man was?"

"Yes, Your Highness. After the bout, I received, strangely enough, many congratulations from the other of the Electors' officers who were present. It should seem that this Herr Pataki had been a member of the Emperor Leopold's Guards, but was outlawed by the Emperor some years ago, for one killing too many, or perhaps killing the wrong man. It should further seem that he spent the years until now as a swordsman for hire, ending in the service of the Elector of Hannunter. His invariable practice, I was told, was to pick on the easiest of available targets. By so doing it was reckoned that he had slain thirty seven other men"

"I see. Well, von Smallhausen, quite frankly I do not know whether to reward you or censure you. I cannot have my officers roaming around the country dispensing retribution as they see fit, yet on the other hand, I cannot be but relieved that the series of attacks on my officers has ceased. On reflection, therefore, now that I have had the full tale from you, I am inclined to let matters rest as they are. Very well, you may return to duty. Von Rabensthal! At last! Where the devil have you been? The Herr Hauptmann and I are nigh perished with thirst!"

Matters Medical

2009-05-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

"Good Morning, gentlemen; my apologies if you have been kept waiting!"

"Good Morning, Your Highness."

"Good Morning, High-Born".

"Now, gentlemen, which of you is likely to take the longer to explain what you are about?"

"That would be the Arzt-General, Your Highness; my report is very short."

"Very well, Herr Doktor, please enlighten me."

"Your Highness, I have excised von Smallhausen's wound, and cleaned it thoroughly. The source of the mischief was a sliver of metal - no bigger than a fingernail clipping. The wound-fever and the draining of the wound have left him very weak, but barring any further complications, he should in time make a full recovery".

"Thank you, Herr Doktor. How much time?"

"That, Your Highness, will be as God wills it. I should say at least a month before he is fully fit, although his left arm and shoulder may be permanently weakened."

"A month! Before God, Herr Doktor, do you mean to tell me he will be bed-bound for that length of time?"

"Oh, no, Your Highness. With the blessing, he should be back on his feet in ten days or so. However, as he is likely to prove a difficult convalescent, perhaps Your Highness could provide him with some mental stimulation. If we can but occupy his mind, he may - I say may - be more receptive to his enforced idleness!"

"I see. Is there anything else you wish to bring to my notice? No? Then Thank you Herr Doktor. You are dismissed. Now Herr Doktor Arzt-General, what is so urgent that you must needs speak to me?"

"High Born, I have here the sick report for the entire army. It may come as a surprise to you, that at least thirty-five percent of your force is suffering from a bloody flux of the bowels!"

"What?! How shall this be possible? I thought that we had decided on the optimum scale of rations to avoid such complications!"

"Indeed we had, High Born, but no matter what we prescribe, the troops will always try to supplement their food with extra... ah, delicacies. The matter is not helped by the stupidity of some of your officers!"

"Explain, please!"

"High Born, I thought that everyone was aware that foul water, if consumed, will hamper the hardiest of constitutions, but what do I find? I find that my directives concerning the placement of watering sites and latrines totally disregarded - on the grounds that they are too difficult to enforce or that they would necessitate soldiers of one regiment passing through the lines of another, thus leading to pilfering, or, perhaps worst of all, 'it has always been thus'".

"Please continue."

"Yes, High Born. I gave the most strict instructions, that where access to running water was concerned that drinking water must be taken from the highest point upstream, below that should be the watering place for animals, below that an area designated for the washing of clothing and equipment and finally at the lowest point of all, the latrine area. Are my instructions obeyed? - of course they are not, and the result is this formidably long sick report! And of course, those individuals suffering from this malaise are not always able to reach the assigned latrine areas and their ordure, deposited where it may fall, thus poisons the very air and spreads the contagion! High Born, unless matters are addressed at the highest levels, in a very short time, you will not have an army left to disobey my instructions!"

"I see... but what do you expect me to do? You have your commission signed by me; as far as matters medical are concerned, you speak with my voice."

"High Born, you are too gracious, but I am afraid that there are officers with this army who do not hear your voice when I speak. They remark that I am not a real officer and not even a soldier and cannot, therefore be expected to understand military necessity nor the need to avoid disruption to routine, order and discipline. High Born - I have more than once been told to go away and play with my pills and my potions!"

"Have you by God! That I will not tolerate - you should have brought these matters to my attention 'ere now!"

"High Born, I do not like to play the role of informer, and I had hoped that patient reiteration of my instructions should, bear goodly fruit, but, as you see..."

"Yes, I do see. Very well Herr Arzt-General, I take it that you shall continue in your attempts to administer to the army? Yes, good. I shall tell you then, what we shall do. You and I, Herr Doktor Arzt-General shall make a tour of inspection of the various regimental areas and you shall show me where your instructions are disregarded and where you consider the various watering stations shall be best situated Somehow, I feel confident that my own voice, raised in displeasure shall have the necessary corrective quality. To that end, Herr Doktor, I require that you attend me here at half-past five of the clock tomorrow morning, when we shall commence our unannounced - you have a horse? Good! Let no word of what has passed between us escape, and with the Lord's Blessing we shall pick up this army be the heels and shake it until all the rubbish has fallen out of its pockets!"

"Thank you, High Born".

"Von Rabensthal!!

"Your Highness?"

"Von Rabensthal, please arrange to have a half-zug of Reiter to act as escort for me, tomorrow morning at half-past five of the clock!"

"Certainly, Your Highness."

"Oh, and von Rabensthal, you shall accompany me tomorrow. Ensure you have pencil and paper with you."

"Yes, Your Highness."

2009-05-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

"Good Morning, Your Highness."

"Good Morning, von Rabensthal. What does the day hold for us?"

"Your Highness, Infanterie Brigaden 1 and 2 are to hold a field day, and this afternoon, at the close of which event, Your Highness is to review the troops involved."

"Yes, thank you; I had not forgotten. What else?"

"Your Highness, in the matter of the confirmation of the sentence of the General Field Court Martial...?"

"Yes. Again, I had not forgotten. I have read, most carefully the letter from the Hollander farmer. He states that it is known that his daughter was ravished, and as a consequence of the disgrace, she will be unable to find any further suitors. He begs that one of the offenders marry the girl, and that natural justice requires that both or neither must be spared, then he begs for clemency for both."

"Your Highness is, then, inclined to show mercy?"

"Yes, I am. I still feel that discipline must not only be upheld, but it must be seen to be upheld. However, the farmer raises a valid question. If we execute these men, then by whom and how shall restitution be made? So an argument can be made for the exercise of clemency. But! I will not have men running riot! Therefore I have decided. Both men will run a double ganteloupe, if they survive that then it is God's will. After the ganteloupe, they shall be stripped of their uniforms and turned out of the army. If the farmer still requires that one of them marry his daughter then he and they can resolve the matter between them! So, you will prepare an order for the punishment, and annotate the findings of the Court Martial accordingly. Understood?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Anything else?"

"Routine despatches from the Schloss, Your Highness, as well as personal letters for you, and... h'mm, for Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen!"

"Shall there be anything in the despatches requiring my personal attention?"

"I think not, Your Highness... Oh, there is a despatch from Herr General Himmelstoss, which he begs be brought to your attention."

"Himmelstoss! God in Heaven! He is good at his job, yet he makes my teeth ache! What does he want now?"

"It should seem, Your Highness, that the attrition rate amongst the train animals is higher than expected, despite the Herr Genera'ls assurance that, 'all necessary steps are being undertaken to ensure the well-being of the beasts'. Therefore, the Herr General respectfully suggests that in consequence of the junction of Your Highness' army with that of his Britannic Majesty, that Your Highness take advantage of the Britannic presence in the ports of der englische Kanal and transport the bulk of the army's necessary supplies by sea. Herr General Himmelstoss makes the point that... ah, yes, '...such a measure would not only alleviate the burden on the supply Corps, but would also be attended by pecuniary advantage...'."

"He does, does he? And does the Herr General give grounds to substantiate this claim?"

"Indeed so, Your Highness, the despatch is quite bulky, it should seem that most of the bulk consists of page upon page of arithmetical calculation. I confess, Your Highness, that I am no great mathematician, but it should seem that the figures do... add up...".

"Yes, thank you, von Rabensthal. I can manage sufficiently well without humour this morning!"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Well, you had better leave Himmelstoss's missive with me. It shall, I fear, prove to be tiresome reading, but if it should chance that his calculations prove to be correct, then it would be folly not to give them some serious consideration. Who is the most senior of the quartermaster-general's staff with the army? Von Frundsberg, the elder, is it not? Good, a letter to von Frundsberg, then, commanding his attendance at... nine of the clock, the day after tomorrow, if you please."

"Yes, Your Highness. Your Highness, there is one other matter..."

"Out with it, then."

"The Herr Doktor-Arzt-General has requested an interview with your Highness."

"Very well, on what matter?"

"He does not state, Your Highness, but insists that it is quite urgent."

"Very well, I had better see him I suppose. When shall I have sufficient time to do so?"

"Unless Your Highness has other matters to which Your Highness must attend, then before nuncheon today, is the earliest."

"Very well, he may have half-an-hour, from... twelve of the clock."

"Very Good, Your Highness. There is also the Herr Doktor-Chirug's report on Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen".

"Ah, anything of note?"

"The Herr Doktor states that the treatment progresses well, and that he expects to purge the wound within the next forty-eight hours."

"Very well. let it be so done. In the meantime, I believe you said you had a letter for the Herr Hauptmann?"

"Just so, Your Highness..."

"Oh, a very pretty hand, and I do believe I detect a whiff of perfume...?"

"Indeed, Your Highness".

"Very well, I shall deliver this billet-doux to our wounded Hauptmann. It may be that it shall bring him some comfort."

"Indeed, Your Highness".

The truth, the whole truth and nothing...

2009-03-09T02:51:00.000-07:00

"Very well, Leutnant, what next?"

"Your Highness, I have here the findings of the General Field Court Martial, which was held on two soldaten of IR Nummer 3. The verdict is that they are guilty of one charge of pillage, and two of rapine. The sentence is that they shall be hanged."

"Good! I will not have my soldaten act as brigands here, or indeed, if it should ever come to pass the we so enter, in enemy territory - ah, you are shocked, Herr Leutnant?"

"Well, yes, Your Highness. I see the need for deterrence sentences, but I had not thought to find you rejoicing in a capital sentence."

"Believe me, von Rabensthal, I take no pleasure in executing my own soldiers; but it may be that early draconian measures shall go towards preserving the discipline of our army. I need not, I trust, remind you that the vast majority of our soldaten are fresh from the plough or the workbench? Good, so you must understand, von Rabensthal, that without discipline, an army is no longer an army, but a mere armed mob. Orders were promulgated against such acts as pillage, looting, rapine, and so forth; soldiers must learn to obey orders. If they cannot obey simple orders when in garrison, how then may the be expected to obey urgent orders amid the confusion of battle. Discipline is not natural to man, it must be learned, and I trust that the sentence passed on these two miserable creatures may serve as an object lesson to the rest of the army!"

"Yes, Your Highness. But, Your Highness, the papers from the Court Martial also include a recommendation for clemency, and are accompanied by a letter to that end, from the hand, apparently, of the father of the outraged young woman."

"Let me understand you plainly, Leutnant: The father of the young woman who was outraged pleads for clemency to be shown to those who despoiled her?"

"Just so, Your Highness."

"H'mm, 'tis most passing strange. Very well, I shall peruse these communications a little later; pray have the goodness to put them to one side for the nonce. What else?"

"Your Highness, there is a report from each of the Infanterie Regimente, concerning the state of the men's shoes. It should seem that all the shoes issued at Groeningdorf are of faulty manufacture. Many of the men in all regimente are to all intents and purposes, barefoot."

"Very well, make a note. A letter is to be written to Herr General Himmelstoss and copied to Herr Flick at Schloss Neuhaus. The contractor who supplied the footware is to provide a complete replacment of the entire quantity so ordered. Not only is he is to receive no payment for this second consignment, but he is to pay a fine of.... five thousand thaler... yes, five thousand. The facts of the matter are to be published, together with the contractor's name, in the Allgemeine Zeitung."

"Very good, Your Highness."

"Is there aught else to which I should turn my attention this morning?"

"Ah... yes, Your Highness. There is a matter of promotion in Reiter Regiment Nr 2. Rittermeister von Sangen has requested permission to take leave. It should seem that he is, due to a tertian ague, unable to perform his duties. He states that in his current condition he is not only of no use to his regiment, but is in truth a burden to them. He also states that if Your Highness requires it, he shall resign his commission. In either case, the Oberst of the Reiter Brigade requests that you approve the promotion of Oberleutnant Matthias Zeigler of Reiter Regiment Nr 1 to the vacancy, on either a temporary promotion or permanent promotion as the case might be."

"I see. So... Rittermeister von Sangen. Yes, I know him. Very well, von Sangen is granted leave of absence until he shall make a recovery. As to the promotion of Oberleutnant Zeigler, I am not so sure. I like neither temporary promotions, nor do I like promoting a man from one regiment into another. A letter, if you please to the Oberst of the Reiter Regimente - Oberst von Waldenstein, is it not? - explain that, for the reasons I have just given, that the promotion and posting of Zeighler is not approved, and that I require the names of those Oberleutnante of RR Nr 2 that are qualified to take command of von Sangler's squadron during his absence. Do you have that? Good. Now, pass me the court martial papers, and then you may write out the the letters that I require. Have them ready for my signature by two of the clock this afternoon. Thank you, you are dismissed. Oh... before you go, my compliments to the Herr Doktor, and ask him call upon me at some time this afternoon, after he shall have visited Hauptmann von Smallhausen "

"Yes, Your Highness. Your Highness, I trust..."

"Yes! What is it?"

"I begs yer Pardon, sir, but the sentinel reports, that he caught these two young varm..., er..., young gennlemen, trying to sneak into the house, through the servants' entrance."

"I see, thank you, Feldwebel. Bring them forward for my inspection , if you please. H'mm singularly unprepossessing in appearance, are they not, von Rabensthal?"

"Indeed, Your Highness."

"Thank you, Feldwebel. You may leave these dangerous invaders with me. Now, gentlemen; explain yourselves."

"Your Highness, we meant no harm, and we were not 'sneaking' anywhere. We were merely attempting to pay a social call on Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen."

"And why, pray, should two Fahnenjunkern of a Reiter Regiment - just who are you? You have not yet had the good manners to report yourself!"

"Your Highness! Fahnenjunkern Johannes Detweiler and Thomas Hozlhof beg to report that they were in the process of paying a social call upon Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen when they were prevented from so doing by a sentinel outside the Herr Hauptmann's quarters!"

"Detweiler and Holzhof, hey? Von Rabensthal, a note of those names, if you please."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"So, gentlemen - I use the term loosely - what is the nature of your business with Hauptmann von Smallhausen?"

"Your Highness, we had heard that the Herr Hauptmann was sick, and we thought to bear him company for a while".

"Now, why would von Smallhausen wish for the company of two of the scruffiest Fahnenjunkern it has yet been my displeasure to see?"

"Your Highness. Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen was extremely informative during his lesson on the subject of the war betwixt Hesse-Cusall and Hesse-Damnall, and we thought to alleviate any tedium he may be suffering. Also, Your Highness, Thomas - I mean Fahnenjunker Holzhof - is an adept at the game of chess, a pursuit which rumour has it that Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen is also expert."

"H'mm, does all this sound plausible to you, von Rabensthal?"

"Plausible, Your Highness? Yes... but likely? No. Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen, a man of broad intellect, is not likely to feel entertained by the chatter of two, who are when all is said and done, little more than schoolboys. Besides, Your Highness, I thought I detected just a hint of unwillingness in these two to meet your gaze in an open manner."

"Yes, thank you von Rabensthal; I had gained much the same impression. Now! Out with it, what are you two playing at?"

"Indeed, Your Highness. We did come to see the Herr Hauptmann! See, Your Highness, Holzhof even has his chess-pieces with him!"

"Yes, I am prepared to accept that you had intended to pay a visit to Hauptmann von Smalhausen, but I remain unconvinced of your reasons. Now, unless you wish me to end your probationship here and now, and discharge you from the army, I most strongly urge that you tell the truth! I will not have liars serving as officers in my army!"

"Your Highness! Indeed we did come to visit the Herr Hauptmann. You see, Your Highness, we had heard that he was injured. and Your Highness,we fear that it is our fault that he came by his injury".

"Indeed, how so?"

"Your Highness will recall that one of our fellows was slain by an Officer claiming to be in the service of the Elector of Hannunter?"

"Indeed I do. Go on".

"Well, Your Highness, one boy - if not wearing uniform - looks much the same as any other. So, some us adopted ordinary dress and reconnoitred the villages in the area. In one such village, the party of Elector's officers were found, and again, some us decided to teach the bully a lesson. We had armed and equipped ourselves, and were about to ride out of the cantonments when we were discovered by Hauptmann von Smallhausen. He, thanks to a loose-lipped fellow among us - and I have yet to deal with him! - discovered also our destination and intent and most straightly forbade us to do anything, and that he was, on your instructions, to resolve the matter. The next news we had of the Herr Hauptmann that he was sick of the wound-fever, so in order to find out what had happened to him, we two were resolved to ask him what had passed."

"Go on, you begin to interest me greatly".

"Your Highness, that is the whole of the matter. We were concerned that Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen had taken his wound in an encounter with the Elector's officers, and that if that were so, then without the information he had gained from us, the encounter would not have chanced to occur, and therefore we were responsible for the Herr Hauptmann's injury".

"I am to understand that you were prepared to take unauthorised leave of absence, in an attempt to visit some form of punishment on the killer of your friend?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"And that some of your number had, ipso facto, already done so in order to gather intelligence of the party of foreign officers?"

"Yes, Your Highness".

"Gentlemen, this is a grave matter. You have done very wrong. Return to your quarters and remain there until I have had time to consider this matter. You will wait outside this room until Leutnant Rabensthal has written a message to your Commanding Officer, which you will, upon your honour deliver to him. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Your Highness".

"Good. Now, get out! - Well, von Rabensthal what think you of this embroglio?"

"Unbelievable, Your Highness. Mere children thinking that they could somehow get the better of an accomplished swordsman! Fantastic!"

"Yes, there is that aspect to the affair, but I was rather thinking that these young gentlemen have altogether far too much spare time on their hands. I think that perhaps they would get into less mischief if they were kept too busy and made too tired for such adventures!"

"Just so, Your Highness".

Wheels within wheels

2009-03-07T03:40:00.000-08:00

18th May 1701, Field Despatch Nr 1, Copy Nr 1 of 3

Herr Otto Flick
Schloss Neuhaus

Sir,

I advert to your communication of the 13th inst. I concur with your suggestions as to the numbering and of the increase of copies of each despatch between us. However, so that there may be no confusion, I would add the refinement of prefixing each despatch with its point of origin, as you shall see from the heading of this communication. To that end I would that you prefix your despatches with the word "Schloss".

The events on the border between ourselves and the Viknark fill me with foreboding. The Prince of Vikmark has agreed to contribute a contingent to the allied armies under command of Herzog Marlbrouk; we, therefore, cannot support any armed conflict between ourselves and the Vikmark at home while our armies co-operate in the field. I would that you and Herr General Prostler arrange a conference with your counterparts in the service of the Prince, and come to an arrangement that will obviate the re-occurrence of any conflict between the two parties.

I am inclined to accept the Prince's denial of culpability in the matter of these border raids. To be sure they are an irritation, but it is one that cannot and must not be permitted to affect our actions in the Low Countries. I am convinced that that these raids are a demonstration of brigandage, and to that end, I wish you to resolve this matter as quickly as may be, without, if at all possible, crossing into the territory of the Vikmark. I am further convinced that these incursions are closely connected with the various mishaps that combined to delay our departure for this campaign.

I am in receipt of correspondence from Herr General Himmelstoss, who makes a claim that with the ever-increasing distance between the army and Ober Nord Westfalen, that the transport service, without a vast increase in its capacity will be unable to deliver supplies and munitions in sufficient quantity to sustain the army once the campaign has opened. To that end, I would that you once more ascertain the maximum number of draught animals that may be obtained without disrupting our industry and agriculture. Let me have your reply by the quickest means.
I require you also to investigate the number of ships that may be requisitioned in order to transport greater quantities of provender to our army. Again, I require a speedy response.

In the meantime, to alleviate some of the burden on General Himmelstoss, I require you to have delivered to me as much specie, at least 100,000 marken, as may be speedily obtained, in order that provisions may be purchased locally.

It should seem that by the time you receive this despatch, that the Lady Henrietta Wetherby shall have arrived at Schloss Neuhaus. Inform me immediately if she should be unable to positively identify the convalescent individual as her husband. In any event, I wish to be kept informed of his progress towards regaining full health.

On the subject of matters medical, I must also inform you that, regrettably, von Smallhausen has received a hurt, from which it would seem that he may not recover. If he should not be capable of further work with the army, Irequire you to select a replacement from the staff of the Sekretariat and have that individual ready to join the army if and when I should deem it necessary.

Yours, etc,

Albrecht, Margraf

And here comes a chopper...

2009-03-05T11:12:00.000-08:00

"Well, Herr Hauptmann, His Highness has summoned me so that I may once more examine your wound."

"Really, Herr Doktor, it is quite unnecessary. The wound heals well - see how easily I move my arm - and I expect to be back at duty within the next two days."

"You may deem it unnecessary, Herr Hauptmann, but His Highness pays my wages, and indeed yours also. It is his command that you have your wound examined, and I am not minded to disobey him! Pray have the goodness to remove your shirt. Ah... that is not quite so easy is it? H'mm, yes... there is a remarkable degree of inflammation. Have you been using the salve with which I provided you? You have? Yes, I see the pot is almost empty. I shall make no bones about it, Herr Hauptmann, the wound now looks very ugly indeed. Very well, we shall have to apply sterner remedies. I shall leave you in peace for the nonce, while I make certain preparations. I shall return this afternoon, and we will commence a regimen of hot fomentations in order to reduce the swelling."

"Is all this fuss really necessary Herr Doktor? I admit the wound has a slight pinkish tinge around it, but really, I feel quite well."

"Herr Hauptmann. The condition of your wound raises no small degree of alarm in my mind. Indeed, if a wounded limb showed so much damage to the flesh I should have no hesitation in removing the peccant member! In the meantime I most straightly forbid you to leave these accommodations. You are to return to your bed and stay there until I order otherwise. I shall, in course, inform His Highness of my directions."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"You asked to see me, Herr Doktor?"

"Just so, Your Highness. I have just examined Herr Hauptmann von Smallhausen, and I fear that the ultimate outcome shall be most markedly unfavourable. I have informed the Herr Hauptmann that had the wound been situated on a limb, then I should straightly amputate the said limb. However, I shall apply hot fomentations to the wound for some days to come, and then we shall see what we shall see."

"These... these fomentations, Herr Doktor, they will reduce the swelling?"

"Ah, no, Your Highness; in fact quite the reverse. The Herr Hauptmann's injury has developed wound-evil to a high degree. In short, the wound has become poisoned - for what reason I do not yet know. Unfortunately the wound is so situated as to make amputation ineligible, so my hope is to excite the poison to such an extent that it bursts forth from the wound, thus leaving a clean injury which will then respond to proper, supervised, treatment."

"You are confident that these measures shall be efficacious?"

"Not at all, Your Highness. The process which I intend is very much, in this sort of case, a last resort. The Herr Hauptmann is still reasonably strong, and seems blessed with a robust constitution, but whether he recovers is in God's hands. I must confess,Your Highness, that I am not hopeful, the great majority of these cases have resulted in the demise of the patient."

"I see. Nevertheless, Herr Doktor, you will do all your possible to ensure that Hauptmann von Smallhausen is one of the exceptions that prove the rule."

"Your Highness, I shall do no more, nor no less for the Herr Hauptmann, than I would do for Yourself, or the most miserable recruit in Your army!"

"That is all I ask, Herr Doktor. Thank you for your efforts to date. When shall you commence this latest treatment?"

"This afternoon, Your Highness. I shall return at two of the clock. In the meantime, Your Highness, I have ordered that the Herr Hauptmann retire to his bed and remain there. I trust that I may rely upon you to second my instructions?"

"Of course. Thank you, Herr Doktor."

Wounded and bleeding

2009-03-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

"Well, von Smallhausen, how goes it?"

"Very well, I thank Your Highness. God willing, I shall return to duty in another day or two."

"That is good hearing, indeed. When St Erth arrived, he brought with him a quantity of despatches from the Englisch Herzog, Marlbrouk, unfortunately, he has credited me with rather more education thn I possess - he wrote in the Frankish tongue. Now, I can hold a genteel conversation in that language, but to decipher voluminous correspondence on military matters is beyond my wit, or perhaps rather beyond my patience! Now, had he but written in Latin or Greek, then all would have been well. So, you see, von Smallhausen, the sooner you return to your work, the better."

"Your Highness, if I may make so bold? This enforced solitude is wearing at my own patience, and it would, indeed, hasten my recovery were I to be occupied. If Your Highness were to cause the Englischman's correspondence to be delivered to me, then I could perhaps, to some extent justify my continuing employment."

"H'mm... are you certain that you are well enough to do this?"

"Your Highness, I am fully persuaded that the task would be beneficial rather than otherwise."

"Very well, von Smallhausen. I will make it so."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Your Highness?"

"Yes, Herr Leutnant?"

"Your Highness, I have just returned from Hauptmann von Smallhausen's quarters, where I had gone to collect some correspondence for your attention..."

"Yes? Go on".

"Your Highness, I am somewhat reluctant, as the Herr Hauptmann enjoined me to secrecy, but I feel I must inform you that..."

"Yes?"

"Your Highness, I fear that the Herr Hauptmann is sick to a much greater extent than he would have you believe."

"And how, Herr Leutnant, do you arrive at this conclusion. You are a Doktor? Or perchance an apothecary by avocation?"

"No, Your Highness, neither, but when I entered the Herr Hauptmann's quarters, he was in the act of shifting his linen. I have seen a few injuries in the past, Your Highness, and of them, none have come to a happy conclusion when the flesh around the injury is as swollen and so red, indeed so crimson, as the Herr Hauptmann's shoulder."

"His shoulder? I was informed that the wound was to his breast!"

"If that is indeed the case, Your Highness, may I suggest that for a wound to show such a degree of inflammation, and so remote from the locus of the injury can hardly be a good sign."

"Thank you, von Rabensthal. You may have reason; pray send an orderly with a summons for the Headquarters Chirugeon."

"Zum Befehl, Your Highness!"

A Farewell to arms...?

2009-02-10T06:18:00.000-08:00

"Well, von Smallhausen..., Oh, I beg your pardon, Madam, I had not seen you in the shade."

"Good morning, Your Highness. I had called upon the good Hauptmann, to make my farewells, so if you shall now excuse me, I shall relieve you of my presence and remove my neck out of temptation's reach! Good Day to you Sir!"

"Madam!..."

"I do believe, Your Highness, that the lady is somewhat vexed with you."

"Yes, I had rather comprehended that myself, von Smallhausen! But, that apart, how goes it with you?"

"I have every expectation, subject to Your Highness' willingness to continue my employment, to return to my full duties within the next two days."

"That is good hearing; much as I am annoyed with your present situation, I find myself asking how would I maintain control over this army without your assistance! But, that was not my meaning; rather I was inquiring as to the state of your health."

"Oh, a slight soreness around the injury, Your Highness, but the Herr Doktor says that the flesh is gravely insulted, and that such sulkiness is both normal and to be expected."

"Very well, then I shall ask the Doktor to examine you further, just to satisfy myself that all is in order."

"Oh, there is no requirement for such an examination, Your Highness. The Herr Doktor professes himself quite satisfied with the injury, and indeed has left for my usage a salve which does much to sooth the hurt."

"Well, if you quite certain, von Smallhausen..."

"Indeed I am, Your Highness."

"Very well; then passing onto the next matter, I am still awaiting a full explanation of how it is that you are come to be hurt."

"Ah, as I have said, Your Highness, it was all hubris, and not paying attention."

"Hauptmann Erich von Smallhausen, it pains me greatly to perceive that you are a monstrously untruthful man!"

"Oh, no, Your Highness; believe me, the injury occurred, as I have said through my own false pride and carelessness!"

"Do you solemnly affirm that this is indeed the case?"

"Indeed I do, Your Highness. I occasioned my injury solely through my own stupidity."

"Very well then, von Smallhausen. I must, of course, accept your assurances upon this matter. Now, moving swiftly on; you are, I am persuaded, aware that the Lady Henrietta leaves us today? Good. However, I understand that she has been most assiduous in her care of you? Yes?... so now it should seem that we must find another to assist you in the changing of your bandages "

"Your Highness, there is no need; Indeed, I am am almost well, observe how deedily I may now move my arm... and do you see, Your Highness, not a spot of blood on the bandage!"

"Very well, then. So be it. For the nonce, however, you are to remain in your quarters. I, despite your protests, forbid you to return to duty until you are quite fit. Is that understood?"

"Of course, Your Highness! But... but who shall assist you while I remain here?"

"Leutnant von Rabensthal, while perhaps not possessing quite the same capacity as your good self, does write in a passably neat fist, and has performed some of your lesser duties quite capably. It should seem, perhaps, that when you are returned to duty, that you could do much worse than to take him under your wing."

All's well that ends

2009-02-07T08:14:00.000-08:00

"So, my lady, 'tis now proven that you are indeed whom you claim to be. You can have no conception of the vastness of my relief that it should be so."

"Why so? How should it be that you are so greatly relieved, sir?"

"Lady Henrietta, surely you must have been aware that I harboured some suspicions that you were a spy, trying to insinuate yourself into my headquarters for some inimical purpose?"

"Your Highness, if I had been attempting to insinuate myself, do you not think, did you not pause to think, that if such had been the case, that I would not have adopted a more concilatory pose?"

"My lady, as it should seem that you have much in common with my lady wife - I believe I have mentioned so in the past, yes? Good - it appeared to me that I possessed the unhappy knack of irritating yourself as greatly as I do, upon occasion, her Highness."

"Yes... you do indeed have that unfortunate effect on me. But, that still does not explain your relief."

"My lady, much as it grieves me to admit it, but had you been proven an imposter, then I much regret, that however greatly it may have pained me - and believe me I would have been greatly pained - then I would, very reluctantly, have had you hanged."

"Hanged! Oh! You monster!"

"Yes, hanged. But, as you are now proven to be no imposter, then the matter need not concern us further."

"You... you... you say you would have hanged me, then dismiss the matter as of no further interest! You... you... oh! Words fail me! Leave me!"

"Ah, may I point out that you are in my apartment, and if either us should leave then it should be yourself. No! Sit down, madam! We have not yet finished our business!"

"What further business can we possibly have, sir?!"

"Madam, we must now bend our attention to the matter of conveying you as swiftly as possible to Schloss Neuhaus, where I trust that your husband, if it be he, is recovering from his confinement. No madam! He was not, I may remind you, confined at my orders or by my servants, to whom he and you may be grateful for his release! I have already sent a messenger to the Schloss, bearing letters to her Highness, and to the excellent Herr Flick, notifying them of your imminent arrival, and requesting that your every need and comfort shall be assured. I have also given orders for your coach, and your servants to be here at first light tomorrow morning. I have also ordered that a zug of my Reiter be here in order to furnish you an escort to ensure that your journey shall suffer no further untoward delay. I have further ordered that the commander of the escort is to do his utmost possible to ensure your safety and comfort during the journey. Is there anything that I may have forgotten, and to which you wish to draw my attention?"

"No there is not! The arrangements should seem to be entirely satisfactory. And now, Your Highness, if you shall excuse me - I shall need to pack!"

Various loose end unloosened?

2009-02-06T05:25:00.000-08:00

"Good morning, Lady Henrietta, how fares our patient?"

"I reregt, Your Highness, that Hauptmann von Smallhausen is almost as exasperating as Your Highness! Nothing must do, but that he must call for the correspondence from his desk, and in despite of my remonstrances, he is sitting up in his bed, and devouring what I can only term a mountain of paper!"

"I see, well, discounting for a moment your estimation of my character, it should seem that the Hauptmann is beginning to recover from his indisposition - which is as it should be, for he has yet to provide me with a satisfactory explanation of how he is come to be injured!"

"Indeed, Your Highness, the Herr Hauptmann is exceedingly shy in providing an explanation - even to me! It should seem, perhaps, that he incurred his wound in the course of some unseemly adventure, involving, it may be, an outraged husband?"

"H'mm... No, madam, from my familiarity with von Smallhausen' character, he is not in the habit of... ah, ratherI should say he is not at all in the petticoat line! - Yes! What is it?"

"Excuse me, Your Highness, but there is an Englischer Offizier arrived, who wishes to have speech with you."

"Very, well von Rabensthal, I shall come directly. If, madam, you will excuse me... It may be that this Englischer is the envoy from Marlbrouk, whom we have both been awaiting!"

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Von Schwerin! It is good to see you again, my friend!"

"Who...? Oh, of course! Desborough! It has been many years since Cambridge!"

"Indeed, it has, Albrecht, but 'tis 'Desborough' no more; I am now, as you see me, covered in the dignity of the Earldom of St Erth!"

"Ah... your father?"

"Dead, these last three years and more."

"I am sorry, St Erth."

"Ah, the old gentleman went the way he would have wished. He caught a chill whilst riding to hounds, which descending to his chest, he was put to bed. He died cursing the parson and throwing a snuff-box at the doctor's head and all the while calling for brandy!"

"Yes, that sounds very like your father. A toast to his soul?"

"Indeed, yes!"

"You mention the dignity of St Erth; yet I see no signs of dignity about your person - not too put too fine a point upon it, but you are absolutely covered in dirt!"

"How else should it be in such a country! I give you my word von Schwerin, let there be but two days of rain and the roads in this benighted place become a veritabe morass! I started by coach, but before God, after taking two days - two days, I say - to cover no more than three leagues - three leagues, mark you! I was obliged to change my mode of transport to the saddle!"

"You have not come alone, surely?"

"No, no, I brought a half-troop of my regiment as escort."

"Your regiment?"

"Oh, yes, under this veneer of dirt, this poor coat - now probably irretrieveably ruined - bears the distinguishing marks of His Majesty's regiment of Life Guards, in which your unworthy servant bears the rank of Lieutenant Colonel!"

"How we have ascended to alarmingly exalted heights! Who, knowing you as a somewhat impoverished under graduate could have conceived a notion that your rise would be so rapid and to such a height!"

"You always did have a damnably clever tongue von Schwerin!"

"Forgive me, St Erth, but I could not resist the temptation... just to see if you would still rise to the bait! But tell, me, are you the officer whose arrival I, or rather we, have been attending with ever-mounting impatience?"

"Elliptical as always! If by 'we' you mean yourself and the Lady Henrietta Wetherby, then the answer is yes."

"St Erth, my very, very, good friend, you can have no conception of just how vastly relieved I am to hear you say so!"

"Oh? How so?"

"The woman is a counfounded nuisance! The need to keep her secure has occupied a great deal of my time - time I may add that I sorely need for other, more important matters! She has the temper of a shrew, and I shall be heartily glad - one way or another - to see her room in place of her presence!"

"Ah. Yes. The Lady Henrietta does have a reputation for being somewhat hot-headed!"

"Hot headed, you say? My dear St Erth, she is possibly the most froward piece of feminity it has yet been my misfortune to encounter. She has no sense of decorum, no concept of respect for place or position - why she has subjected me to what I do not hesitate to claim as Turkish treatment! She has indulged in a series of tantrums and even threw an ink-pot at my head! Yes, 'tis all very well for you to laugh, but..."

"My very dear Albrecht, that sounds so very much like Lady Henrietta! But, I had no idea that you was grown so inflated, so... so... pompous even."

"Pompous! Pompous? D'ye really think so?"

"I regret to say it, but, yes. Why?"

"Oh, 'tis merely that something of the sort of which the lady accused me; I had supposed it to be yet another manifestation of her temper. but if you really think so..."

"Albrecht, if you could but hear yourself. You remarked earlier, that I was vastly changed since my under graduate days; but if any of our Cambridge friends had heard you just then, I misdoubt me whether they could have reconciled the Margraf of Ober Nord Westfalen with the ink-stained college-fellow who treed the Provost with a bear!"

"Yes, and did I not suffer for that! But time has passed, old friend, my responsibilities wear me down; I could wish sometimes, that I had a king and a parliament on to whom I could pass some of the issues the which I must resolve! You know that I had no expectation of the title, my cousin's death I must forever regret on more grounds than one!"

"You are not happy, my friend?"

"What has happiness to do with anything? It is all duty."

"Yes, and speaking of which, I gather you required the presence of an English officer to verify the identity of this lady. What shall be the outcome if it should seem that she is not who she says?"

"If she is indeed the Lady Henrietta, then I shall with all speed have her conveyed to Schloss Neuhaus, where a man claiming to be her husband is recovering from injury, and all shall then be well."

"And if she be not the Lady Henrietta, what then?"

"If that should be he case, St Erth, then I must make further essays to discover her identity."

"And?"

"And if it prove to be that she is a spy, then she shall hang."

"Von Schwerin!"

"Yes, that shocks you, does it not? But, St Erth, I have the lives of all my people , and of the very State, to consider. And in the scale of all things, what shall count the life of one enemy, even if it be a woman?"

"Aye, you have the right of it, though 'tis a cruel hard thing to contemplate. I begin to to understand your reponsibilities. I must render unto God my thanks that I am not faced with the same sort of decisions."

"Yes. Well, shall we request the lady to grace us with her presence, so that we may come to a decision as to her identity?"

"Very well."

"Leutnant! - Leutnant! Ah, good. Pray convey my compliments to the lady, and ask her to attend us here."

Excuses, excuses...

2009-02-01T04:35:00.000-08:00

13 May 1701, Despatch Nr 1 of 1701, Copy Nr 1 of 3

His Highness, Albrecht, Margraf of Ober Nord Westfalen

Your Highness,

I crave pardon for the dilatory nature of this reply to your despatch of the 20th ult, but I must inform you that certain duites have necessitated my temporary absence from Schloss Neuhuas, consequent to some singular events on the Northern Marches of Your Highness' realm.

However, before I embark on an explication of these events, I trust Your Highness will forgive me if I advert to the substance of Your Hghness' despatch of the above date. The government of Hannunter had closed its borders with us on the 23rd of March last, and thus prevented me from gathering reports in the usual manner. One of my agents who attempted to cross the border was, alas, apprehended, and as a result met with an untimely demise - 'shot while endeavouring to elude capture' - if Your Highness is pleased to accept the official communication from Hannunter. Nevertheless, I did contrive to amass certain informations regarding a concentration of the army of Hannunter, and accordingly requested General von Prostler to place the Landwehr of the Southern Kreise on the qui vive, while I endeavoured to ascertain the meaning of Hannunter's warlike preparations. Fortunately, subsequent enquiries revealed that Hannunter's troops were concentrating towards the south and were about to take a route to the United Provinces.

In the full nature of things, I addressed to Your Highness, a full report of these matters, together with my thoughts and conclusions and despatched them by 'quickest means' on the 3rd Ult. It should seem that this despatch had not yet reached Your Highness by the date of your despatch to me. It should also seem that the courier with whom I entrusted this despatch has disappeared while en route. I am carrying out investigations in an effort to discover what might have befallen him. I am reluctant to entertain any idea of treachery; the young man in question is one of my most promising protegés, and has been in Your Highness' service for nearly five years.

It occurs to me that, under our present arrangements, neither of us shall have any idea that a despatch has gone astray, and therefore it behooves us to instigate a system of numbering and recording our communications. Therefore I have taken the liberty of so numbering this communication, and moreover, because the detection of a missing despatch, shall, by the nature of our communications, consume an unwarrantable amount of time, I have instigated a system of multiple copies of each despatch, each of these copies to be borne by a different courier. I should not, of course, impose any system upon Your Highness, that Your Highness shall not approve, but I most strongly recommend the adoption of such a mechanism.

Now, If Your Highness will indulge me, I shall attempt to describe the course of events on our Northern border. Your Highness will remember that I had, on a previous occasion, cause to bring to Your Hignerss' attention news of raids upon our Northern Kreise by unruly elements of the citizenry of the Vikmark; in response to which Your Highness was good eneough to supply me with a defiance for forwarding to the Prince of the Vikmark. The defiance was in due course delivered, and was met with outraged denial from that Prince, who indignantly averred no knowledge of the events in question, and furthermore assured Ober Nord Westfalen that his forces were not involved, and disowned any and all such actions as perpetrated by those whom he termed 'ulfhednar' or wolves' heads; that is to say common criminals.

His Highness of the Vikmark was most accommodating and gave Ober Nord Westfalen carte blanche in the matter of crossing the border in pursuit of any further marauders. Further depredations did occur, and a force of two schwadronen of Flensbergen Landwehr Kavalerie, under the command of Rittermeister Schirmer pursued the raiders into the Vikmark, slaying a number of them and recovering some thirty head of stolen cattle. Unfortunately it should seem that the Prince of Vikmark's permission had not been disseminated to the officers commanding his Border Guards, and our Kavalerie was then attacked by a force of Vikmark regular troops. A sharp skirmish ensued, and our troops were forced to withdraw into Ober Nord Westfalen, nit without loss to themselves and having inflicted some casualties on their attackers. Regrettably, Rittermeister Schirmer was one of our fatalities. I enclose Hauptmann Grüber his report of the incident.

Upon news of this unfortunate encounter, I was compelled to take my leave of Schloss Neuhaus and journey once more to the north, where I met His Highness of the Vikmark, who although professing regret at what he termed an unnecessary effusion of blood, did not, to my eyes, seem particularly perturbed at the occurrence of these events.

Accordingly, I have requested Genral von Prostler to increase the number and frequency of his patrols on the border, and have required Major von Hochstadt to accelerate the training of Your Highness' Grenz Schutzen.

Your most obedient servant

Otto Flick

The Pen is Not Mightier than the Sword... in this case!

2009-01-04T09:01:00.000-08:00

"Herr Doktor, how is he?"

"It should seem, Your Highness, that the patient will, barring any poisoning of the wound, live. I am, in this case, quite hopeful, but I could wish that the Herr Hauptmann had sought earlier medical attention."

"How could he have done so, Herr Doktor? He has only just been injured!"

"Much as I hesitate to contradict Your Highness, I am quite certain that this is not the case; that wound is at least two, and quite possibly, three days old."

"What! Are you sure?"

"Your Highness, I am fully persuaded that is, indeed the case!"

"Oh... well, in that case, it should seem that I must excuse Lady Henrietta! Yes, the Herr Hauptmann did say that he had had a fall from his horse a few days ago."

"Ah, Your Highness, the injury, unless the Herr Hauptmann fell upon a metal stake, was most definitely not caused by a fall from the saddle. I would stake my reputation that what the Herr Hauptmann has, is in fact a wound caused by a sword, or a dagger."

"You are quite, quite sure, Herr Doktor?"

"Indeed I am, Your Highness. I have seen more than a few such wounds in my time as a doktor. This wound has penetrated the muscles at the front of the left shoulder, just where it joins the chest, and has penetrated to a depth of some three-quarters of a finger's length ."

"I see. Thank you, Herr Doktor. Do you forsee the need to visit the patient again?"

"Just so, Your Highness. I confess I would be much happier in myself if I can assure myself that wound remains clean. I shall call upon the Herr Hauptmann tomorrow forenoon - just to satisfy myself that all is well."

"Yes... that may be the best thing. Once again, Herr Doktor, thank you."

"A mere nothing, Your Highness. And now if you will forgive me, I have other patients awaiting."

"Yes, yes of course."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Lady Henrietta, you will be relieved to hear that you have not murdered my Military Sekretary after all. In fact, it should seem that you are almost blameless in this matter."

"Almost, sir?"

"Yes, almost. It should seem that the wound was incurred two to three days since, so you may take heart from the fact that you did not occasion it. However..."

"Yes, Your Highness?"

"However. Had you not given way to a childish fit of temper and hurled all manner of sundry items at my head, then the Herr Hauptmann would not have needed to intervene, and it may well be that his wound would not have broken open."

"I am sorry, Your Highness."

"I am glad to hear it, my lady. Other heads of state, under similar circumstances, may well have felt that your actions were tantamount to a case of lesé majesty, if not armed assault."

"Oh, I am not sorry for hurling an ink-pot at you. I do, however, deeply regret that poor Hauptmann von Smallhausen should have come to hurt by it!"

"Ah! I thought you were being just a tad too meek!"

"How could it be otherwise, my lord? Hauptmann von Smallhausen, is erudite, intelligent, and once you pry him away from that da..., that chessboard, he is quite charming company. You, on the other hand..."

"Yes, yes, madam; pray relieve me from the necessity of hearing a rehearsal of my faults! I am probably all that you consider me to be!"

"Very well, my lord. I shall consider my peroration delivered and that you are now suitably abashed. But, pray, tell me, how is that Hauptmann von Smallhausen is come to be injured?"

"That, Lady Henrietta, is a question that remains to be answered. But answered it shall be! He told me some tale of falling from his horse; but the good Herr Doktor assures me that von Smallhausen has, in effect, received a sword or dagger wound. Rest assured, madam, that I shall have the truth of this matter!"

"I see. But may I ask Your Highness to curb any degree of impatience? I am quite unskilled in caring for a wound, but I should suppose that agitation of any sort may well bring about undesireable effects."

"Yes... you may well have the right of it."

"Good. I knew that at heart, beneath all the pomposity, that you were a sensible man. And now, if Your Highness will excuse me, I shall see if our gallant Hauptmann has need of anything."

"Pomposity?! Why, you, you... Go on! Go!"

Blood is thicker than ink

2008-12-13T04:28:00.000-08:00

"Well, von Smallhausen, you are late! I said two days, did I not?"

"Indeed, Your Highness."

"It had been, what, five days?"

"Indeed, Your Highness."

"Is that all you have to say, von Smallhausen?"

"Only that I apologise for my tardiness, Your Highness, and that it will not happen again."

"Is that it? A cursory apology, no explanation?"

"I am indeed sorry, to have betrayed Your Highness' trust, but any explanation I advance would only seem to be an excuse, and I would rather that you you were displeased with me than to consider me as a prevaricator."

"Well, you are correct in assuming my displeasure! I dislike being taken for a fool. If you had reason to suspect that this business upon which you were engaged would take longer than two days, then you should have asked for the extra time, instead of taking it! Now, no more shilly-shallying; where the deuce have you been?"

"Your Highness, I am embarassed to admit the full truth, but if Your Highness will have it so, then I must confess, that my delay was no body's fault but mine own."

"Yes, yes, all very well! But what was the cause of your absence? I was upon the point of publishing your name as a deserter!"

"Your Highness, I had indeed completed my business within the two days, but I must confess to a piece of gross stupidity, negligence and hubris. During my return to Headquarters, I was well satisfied with the outcome of my actions, and basking in the warmth of my self-praise - no recommendation, I am aware. Unfortunately, I failed to pay attention to my surroundings, and was riding loose-reined when a rabbit, or a bird, or somewhat of that ilk, ran across the road under my horse's very feet. Not unnaturally, the beast shied, and as I was not riding on the bit, I lost my balance and fell off. On striking the ground, I bruised my shoulder rather badly, indeed I thought I had broken it, and was obliged to seek rest and treatment, but I assure Your Highness, that I have made the best of my speed to return to headquarters."

"You... fell... off... your... horse? Is that the best explanation with which you can furnish me?"

"Indeed, Your Highness, that is what happened."

"Von Smallhausen, you are a fool, and what is more an incompetent horseman! I have a mind to send you for instruction to one of the Reiterregimente, indeed I would do so on the instant, had not your desk, and mine, become so encumbered with correspondence! Enough, then. Let us resume our duties. In the meantime, I shall consider whether or not to visit my displeasure upon you!"

"Very good, Your Highness."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Now then, Von Smallhausen, what next?"

"A report from the Oberst of IR Nummer 2, You Highness. He begs to draw your attention to the matter of footwear. He states that the shoes issued at Groeningdorf are already beginning to fall apart. The uppers are becoming detached from the soles, and indeed some of the leather used in their construction appears to have been incompletely tanned, hence the uppers themselves are falling part."

"Groeningdorf? That was only three weeks ago, and we have been static here for over a week! Shoes should last longer than that! Write to the Oberst and ascertain whether or no he has been conducting training marches that may have contributed to the short life-span of these shoes. Write also to the Obersts of IRs Nummer 2 and 3, requesting a report on the condition of their men's shoes, and where and when they were issued."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Anything further?"

"Just the routine morning states from the Regimente, Your Highness, and the weekly sick state from the Chirugeon-Oberst."

"Is there anything in either that should cause concern, von Smallhausen?"

"Nothing that I can see, Your Highness. Morning states show between eighty five and ninety nine percent attendance, the numbers of sick correspond. II/IR Nummer 2 reports four deserters; while I/IR Nummer 3 has two soldaten under arrest awaiting a Court-Martial."

"Are the charges specified, von Smallhausen?"

"Yes, Your Highness, pillage and rapine."

"Very well, von Smallhausen. A letter to the Commander of I/IR 3. It is to be a General Field Court Martial."

"Your Highness..."

"Yes?"

"If the accused are found guilty by a General Court-Martial, then they could be sentenced to death."

"Exactly. If they are guilty, von Smallhausen, then they shall go to the gallows! Is there nothing further?"

"No, Your Highness."

"Nothing? The Devil take it! I was hoping to hear from both the Englisch Herzog Marlbrouk and from Flick! You are quite sure there is nothing further?"

"I am certain, Your Highness."

"Damn it! What are we to do with the Lady Henrietta? I want confirmation of her identity! I really do not want to find out that she is an imposter! You were quite right, she does indeed have some winning ways, and I would be most reluctant to hang her... What the devil!?"

"Hoy! You can't go in their Missy! Oww! You mad bitch!"

"At last!"

"I beg your pardon, Madam? Alright, Sentinel, she's in, you might as well let her stay. You are dismissed."

"Yerssir! Sorrysir!"

"Now, madam, what is the meaning of this unseemly intrusion!?"

"Unseemly!? Unseemly!? I shall tell you, Your Highness, what is unseemly! It is your arrogance in having me confined against my will! It is your casual neglect of my being and welfare! It is your deprivation of my staff and total disregard of my creature comforts! Your denial of my need for spiritual comfort! It is your cruelty to me ! And above all it is your snivelling string of excuses in denying me the interview I urgently requested on your return from playing at soldiers!"

"Von Smallhausen?"

"I have no idea, Your Highness!"

"Do you not ignore me, you... you popinjay! Do not speak as if I were not present! You will have the goodness to direct your attention to myself!"

"Madam, I have tried to explain to you my reasons for detaining you. And indeed, I have sent messengers to Marlbrouk and to the Schloss in an endeavour to to ascertain your identity. Indeed, I was, just before your interruption, bemoaning to von Smallhausen the fact that I had received no word from Marlbrouk, or from my excellent Herr Flick, and that..."

"Excuses! Excuses! Paint over putty! That's all they are! Why have you not responded to my requests for an interview?! Answer me that!"

Madam, I very much regret that I must remind you that I am conducting a military operation here! You must surely see, that as I am reponsible for the condition of my army, and indeed of my state, that no matter how much I wish to afford you every courtesy, there are only so many hours in the day, and indeed I am persuaded that, you, a reasonable woman..."

"Don't you dare patronise me! You... man! Hah!"

"What!? No, madam! Do not throw that! Oww!"

"And that!"

"Von Smallhausen stop her! Madam! No! That's... an ink pot."

"Oh... Herr Hauptmann, my apologies, That was not meant for you. I am afraid, that I have quite spoiled your uniform, but you should not have grabbed my arm like that, you know. Why, Herr Hauptmann, you look quite palely, it is only ink you know. I am certain that it will come out in cold water, I shall have my maid attend it to for you."

"Madam, that is not ink... It is blood! What have you done? Von Smallhausen, sit down man - before you fall down!"

"I am quite alright, Your Highness, thank you. If I may have your permission, I shall retire and change my wardrobe."

"You will do nothing of the sort! Sit down, I tell you! madam, be so good as to ask the sentinel to send for a chirugeon, and then come and help me get his coat off".

Redo From Start

2008-11-15T07:22:00.000-08:00

"Well, Von Smallhausen, what news from the schoolroom?"

"I believe I have given them some food for thought, Your Highness, but how I kept a straight face I do not know!"

"Yes, I had much the same difficulty in facing that group of angry townsfolk! It was like being attacked by kittens, but oh, the consequences, if I had laughed in their faces! Did any of the young rogues admit to being the ringleaders, or in participating in the race? I rather wish I had been there to see it; by report it was chaos incarnate!"

"Just so, Your Highness, but I thought the lesson would be best learned if the perpetrators were given the impression that you were distinctly displeased with their endeavours."

"Of course, of course, it will not do if the youngsters ever think we are amused by their antics! But, the perpetrators? Any body with so fertile a mind as to conceive such a race is marked either for greatness - or the gallows!"

"I did not, Your Highness, ask for the names of the guilty. If they were not present, then we would have been made to look foolish; I do not expect that any of these young gentlemen would be prepared to name another party; for all their faults they are remarkably loyal to one another."

"Yes... although I often receive the impression that they view the world as being composed of themselves and every body else, where every body else is an oppressor!"

"Ah, yes, Your Highness...?"

"Yes?"

"May I beg a leave of absence for two days? I find the continual chess games against Lady Henrietta quite... oppressive, and there is that other matter to which I must attend."

"Other matter?"

"Yes, Your Highness, the murderous swordsman."

"Ah, of course. Do you really need two days, Von Smallhausen?"

"I hope not, Your Highness, but..."

"Yes, there is always 'but', Very well, but no more than two days - the last time you disappeared I had to entertain the lady. I should have stuck to my guns and kept her in solitary confinement!"

"Somehow, Your Highness, I think not, the lady is a most charming companion, and despite her temper has some pretty ways."

"What's this, Von Smallhausen? Are you developing a tendre for Lady Henrietta?"

"Certainly not, Your Highness. She is married; I merely give credit where it is due."

"I am relieved to hear it, Von Smallhausen. very well, two days leave of absence - and do not be late in your return!"

"No, Your Highness."

A History Lesson...

2008-11-14T06:12:00.000-08:00

"Abteilung! Stillegestand! Good Morning, Herr Hauptmann, Fahnenjunker von Raubenstadt begs to report thirty-0ne Fahnenjunkern present, as ordered, Herr Hauptmann!"

"Thank you, Herr von Raubenstadt. Class, be seated... Now, you all know why you are here, do you not? .... No, I do not mean why you as part of the army are here in the United Provinces, but rather why you, er... young gentlemen are here in this room at this moment? You do not know? Very well, as the first part of this lesson, I shall attempt to enlighten you. It appears that the recent alarums and excursions have awoken in the breasts of some of you, a desire for more, er... excitement and entertainment than is generally the rule while the army is encamped. While such a thrusting spirit is, generally, to be applauded, the measures taken by a few of you to alleviate the tedium engendered by a prolonged period of inactivity is not, however, to be commended. Therefore your time is to be more profitably employed in the furtherance of your education, to which end this session is the first step. For those of you whom remain in ignorance, I refer to an event last evening, which enabled the populace to be entertained by the spectacle of a race, down the main street of the village, between three of your number, mounted on, I believe, a pony, an ox and a mule, and encouraged by a large number of you. While I applaud the ingenuity that enabled such a race to be run with, as I understand, a fair and reasonable handicap, I regret I cannot say the same for the trail of carnage left in its wake. My lack of amusement is shared by the owners of the animals thus appropriated, by the good burghers of the town who lost their goods and were put in fear of their lives, and also by His Highness, to whom those self-same owners and burghers complained! His Highness remains remarkably unamused by this occurrence, and has expressed his most earnest desire that the event remains as a singular example of, er... let us say, 'youthful high spirits'; I will not sully your tender ears with His Highness' exact words. Gentlemen! This is no laughing matter! Wars have been fought and men have died for far less serious reasons! You doubt me? Very well, we shall examine , as a history lesson, the cause of the conflict between Hesse-Damall and Hesse-Kussall."

"Who can tell me anything of the two states I have just mentioned... Yes?"

"Herr Hauptmann, Hesse-Damall is a small state. situated, mostly, on the eastern slopes of the Teutoberger-Wald. It is endemically impoverished, and its most notable export is young men to serve as soldiers in the armies of larger powers!"

"Good, very good, as far as you go. Perhaps you would care to further our enlightenment?"

"Herr Hauptmann, I regret to say that I have exhausted my knowledge of that state. Of Hesse-Kussall, I have never heard!"

"Tut, tut! What have your tutors been about? Does any body else wish to make a contribution to the lesson? No? Very well. Now pay attention, there will be questions asked at a later date. You may not take notes! Now then. Hesse-Kussall and Hesse-Damall are, or were, moieties of the once-great Principality of Hesse. However, due to the somewhat chaotic laws governing inheritance in that Principality, when the Inhaber dies, his estate, rather than passing to the eldest son, as is usual amongst more progressive countries, are divided between all living male heirs, the ladies are disqualified from inheritance, due to those same laws. Now, gentlemen, picture if you will, a state, well provided with natural resources, blessed with an equitable climate and populated by good, honest, hard-working, protestant workers and ruled by a benevolent Prince. Then, alas, the Prince dies; his state is divided between his two sons; but each of these smaller states has sufficient in the way of resources and workers to remain prosperous. Then in later years, the two sons die, and their estates are split between their sons, and so on down through the generations, until eventually what was a great Principality becomes a patchwork of small, hard-working, peasant holdings barely able to sustain life."

"In the case of Hesse, not all was lost, due entirely to the inability of succeeding Prinzen and Herzogen to raise large families. The cause of which, I am certain, was too many marriages between cousins, which those of you whom are farm-bred will know has a deleterious effect on livestock. How can it be otherwise with human animals? So, for many years, the state remained a unified whole, father passed the state to only son, or where there was no son, to cousin or nephew. However, there came to pass a sudden rise in the fertility of the ruling house, probably caused by the then Herzogin's indiscretion with a passing Schweizer mercenary about a hundred years ago! However, and whatever the cause, sons started to appear in embarassing numbers, with the sad result of the splintering of the Principality. One of those splinters received the name Hesse-Schworeall, headed by a Graf. This Graf and and his Grafin had two sons, and on the death of the Graf, the estate was split between the brothers. One half became Hesse-Dammall and marched with the other half, which became Hesse-Kussall."

"Still, the brothers remained, if not on amicable terms, at least on non-hostile terms. We must now direct our thoughts further down the social scale, and examine one Herr Friederich Plotz, of Hesse-Kussall. Why, you ask? Because, gentlemen, Herr Plotz was in some sense the spark that ignited the conflagration. Herr Plotz owned a... well, I will not call it a farm, but rather a potato patch and a few chickens... right against the border between Hesse-Damall and Hesse-Kussall. His nearest neighbour, a Herr Kuchner, was in fact a citizen of Hesse-Damall, and by common repute the two men, and their families were good neighbours. Neither coveted their neighbour's ox, wife, or chattels - indeed, neither had much that would warrant coveting. They scratched a living, always on the edge of famine, and were always ready to help each other with those little jobs that are just too much for one man."

"Herr Kuchner and Herr Plotz were both typical hill-farmers. Their land barely supported their families, hence each was in the habit of eking out their land's produce by the application of their hunting and shooting skills, and, regretably, by diverting some of their potato crop into the production of illicit schnapps. They were both fiercely independent, and utterly contemptuous of the 'flatlanders' whom, in their eyes, led an easy life on the plains below. Each saw himself as his own lord on his own land, and quite frankly neither gave a tinker's word for duly constituted authority."

"One year, the conditions were just perfect for Herr Kuchner's potatoes, and he grew a bumper crop, far, far in excess of his family's needs. He could, of course, have chosen to take the excess to market, but that would mean a long, slow journey with a heavily laden ox-cart. Unfortunately he chose to reduce the burden by converting the extra potatoes into schnapps, and selling that in their stead. His efforts were well rewarded - did I mention that they both made excellent schnapps? - and he was able, with the money he gained, to buy some badly needed items for both farm and house. Among his purchases was a piglet. Herr Kuchner was of the firm opinion that a potato-fed pig provided the most succulent flesh possible, and looked forward to a winter feast that would become the talk of the Kreis and the envy of all his acquaintance."

"So, Herr Kuchner took his piglet home and built a sty for it. He fed it potatoes, and the pig grew in size, promising to make a bountiful feast. His neighbours were in envy, but he promised them all a piece of the pig when it was full-grown and slaughtered. Did I say that the pig grew in size? I did? Good. Unfortunately the pig also grew in appetite, and Herr Kuchner, having used so much of his surplus potatoes to make schnapps was hard-pressed to satisfy the pig's appetite. Finally, the inevitable occurred. One night, the pig broke out of its sty and went in search of further sustenance. Its wanderings took it to Herr Plotz's potato patch. The pig was in heaven! Here was a seemingly endless supply of its accustomed food, the pig rooted and gorged all night until its appetite was sated. On awakening the next morning, Herr Plotz was not so happy; in one night, the pig had devastated his potato patch. Further, its depredations posed a real threat, it had consumed so many of the potatoes that Herr Plotz seriously doubted whether he could provide for his family through the coming winter. Steps needed to be taken. Herr Plotz armed himself with a length of rope and after some exertion, which did not ease his temper, he caught the pig, and with further exertion, succeeded in returning it to its owner. Great was Herr Kuchner's dismay when he learned of the havoc the pig had brought to his neighbour's farm, but what could he do? He no longer had a suplus which he could offer in reparation. Herr Plotz, was not an unreasonable man, he merely asked for a pound or two of powder and lead, so that he might increase his hunting, and feed his family in that manner. Herr Kuchner was relieved to be let off so lightly, and gladly gave his neighbour what was asked."

"Sadly, this was not the end of the matter. The pig, having learned to escape from his sty, evidently saw no reason why he should remain thus confined and dependent on a man for his food, when there were potatoes to be had merely by rooting them out of the ground. Like any criminal, he returned to the scene of his crime and in the morning was again confronted by a furious Herr Plotz, whom once again returned him to Herr Kuchner. It is reported that the meeting between the two neighbours was not quite so... neighbourly on this occasion, and harsh words were passed to and fro. Herr Plotz demanding that Herr Kuchner keep his damned pig locked up at night, and also demanding reparation; Herr Kuchner, quite reasonably pointed out that if a pig has learned to escape, then it would escape, now matter how securely confined, and regretted that he was no longer in a position to offer any reparations to Herr Plotz. The meeting concluded with Herr Plotz warning Herr Kuchner that if he found the pig on his land again, he would shoot it, keep it and eat it! Herr Kuchner replied that it would much better for Herr Plotz if he did no such thing."

"And so it came to pass, in the fullness of time, that the pig once more escaped, and made a further raid on what was left of Herr Plotz's potatoes. Herr Plotz, being a man of his word, shot the pig. Of course, Herr Kuchner missed the animal, and fearing what might have happened, had indeed happened, he visited Herr Plotz to ascertain the facts of the matter. Whatever his faults may have been, Herr Plotz was no dissembler, Yes, he had shot the pig. Yes, he intended to cure the meat and eat it, and no, he was not prepared to hand the carcase over."

"Herr Kuchner was not a happy man. He returned home greatly discomfitted. He did not quite know what to do, so he sat at home all that day and, sadly with the aid of a bottle or two of schnapps, brooded. That evening, he put on his hat and coat, and mounting his mule, rode to the nearest village, where he ill-advisedly sought further inspiration in the Gasthaus, here he shared his woes, and more schnapps, with some of his fellow citizens, In short order, there grew a ground-swell of opinion that no damned peasant from Hesse-Kussall could be permitted to make free with a Hesse-Damall pig. A Posse Comitatus formed with the intent of confronting Herr Plotz and forcing him to hand over the corpus delecti."

"Herr Plotz, it must be remembered had the reputation of not only being fiercely independent, hot-tempered and proud, but also of being an excellent marksman. This being so, it was felt prudent by the members of the Posse that they should take with them their firelocks. Their approach, complete with the traditional flambeaux, was seen, and Herr Plotz set about barring his door and barricading his windows. The Posse arrived and issued their demands; in reply, Herr Plotz invited them to visit the Wicked One in the fiery regions below. Voices were raised, tempers grew hot, and at last some idiot squeezed his trigger. Herr Plotz fired in return and Herr Kuchner fell to the ground with a mortal wound to his breast."

"The Posse fled, and the next day reported the death to the civic authorities. Letters were written and finally, a rather slanted report of the incident reached the Freiherr Johannes of Hesse-Damall. He wrote to his brother, Freiherr Karl of Hesse-Kussall, demanding that Herr Plotz be surrendered to stand his trial. Freiherr Karl then mounted hs own investigation and in reply to his brother concluded that the citizens of Hesse-Damall had mounted an armed invasion of Hesse-Kussall, and that Herr Plotz, as a free citizen of that state had every right to defend its sovereignty. Freiherr Johannes replied to the effect that if Freiherr Karl continued in his obduracy, then he would have no option but to despatch a file of soldiers to arest Herr Plotz. Freiherr Karl answered this missive by stating that if his brother did any such thing, then an overt invasion of the Sovereign State of Hess-Kussall would mean war. The incursion took place, Herr Plotz was arrested and brought to trial, after which he was duly hanged. Freiherr Karl declared war on Hesse-Damall; over twenty thousand men were killed in the ensuing seven years, Freiherr Karl was killed in battle, Hesse-Kussall was eliminated as a state and its territory incorporated into Hesse-Damall. And all gentlemen, because a pig liked potatoes! So, let us hear no more of appropriating farm animals if you please! Herr von Raubenstadt, take charge!"

"Jawohl, Herr Hauptmann!"

Orders to the Army

2008-11-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

Cases of Men Falling Out from the Ranks During a March

The Commander in Chief desires that the attention of all Officers be drawn to the following:

Men are only permitted to fall out from the line of march when they can absolutley do no more.
The one Exception to this regulation is when a soldier needs to attend to a call of nature, which cannot be denied. Any soldier wishing to leave his company for this purpose is to obtain a written ticket from his Officer, which is to clearly state the date and time of the issue of the ticket and is to be signed in a legible manner by the officer. Any soldier found not in the possession of such a ticket shall be considered to be a deserter.

In those cases where a man can do no more, he is to be examined by a chirugeon, who is to write him a ticket, which is also to be timed, dated and signed.

It is the duty of the Commanding Officer of the rear-guard to gather up such invalids and make arrangements for their transport in the wake of the army.

Any soldier thus excused from further effort by a chirugeon is to be relieved of his firelock, which is to be deposited in the Bataillon arms cote.

Albrecht
Margraf
20 April 1701

We are not amused

2008-11-09T02:01:00.000-08:00

20th April 1701

Herr Otto Flick
Schloss-Neuhaus

Dear Sir,

I write this missive from a feeling of confusion. It is not usual for you to be remiss in your duties, yet recent matters strongly suggests that you have indeed been guilty of an oversight or omission, which had the potential of being disastrous to both the army and to the state.

How did it come to pass that Hannunter was able to mobilise its army and despatch it to join Prinz Eugen without firstly you becoming aware of its posture, and secondly you failing to inform me of its preparations?

By the grace of God, we becamae aware of their presence TO OUR LEFT REAR before the two forces blundered into an accidental action. Had it not been for the diligence of our patrols the outcome could have been very different.

I am not at all content with the turn which events have taken, and I await your explanation for this failure in intelligence.

Believe me &c
Albrecht
Margraf

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Von Smallhausen, please have the goodness to have this copied out in a fair hand and bring it back for my signature... no, please copy it out yourself, make only one copy and ensure that this draft is secured in my files. No-one else is to see it. Is that understood?"

"Of course, Your Highness."

"Now, I understand that Lady Henrietta is most anxious to have speech with me?"

"That is correct, Your Highness."

"H'mmm. Very well, once you have copied that letter, then kindly have the goodness to escort Lady Henrietta to me."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"In the meantime, I understand General Himmelstoss is still awaiting my pleasure?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Very well, admit him."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Good morning, Your Highness."

"Good morning, Herr General. Pray, be seated."

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"Himmelstoss, you have brought me to a point non-plus. I do not yet know whether your are to praise or you are to blame."

"I do not understand, Your Highness."

"Himmelstoss, I appreciate that you are my commissary-general, or wagon-master general for want of a better title, and I am more than satisfied with the manner in which you have, to date, conducted yourself in the performance of your duties, with the zeal in which you formed the wagon train and with the efforts you have made in order to keep the army supplied. I understand that there has not been a single instance of you failing to deliver supplies when and where they were need. For this herculean effort, you are to be commended. I am told that I must also commend you on the thoroughness with which you have trained your command. I do so. However, while I appreciate your attention to detail, and can fully understand the desire which any officer must conceive to ascertain how his command bears themselves once engaged in war-like manoeuvres - yes I know your train soldiers have yet to fire or even hear a shot fired, but, Himmelstoss, the wagon train is the one branch of the service that is, in effect, already at war - what gave you the idea to depart Schloss-Neuhaus and travel with one of your trains? And more to the point, who granted you such permission?"

"Your Highness, I am all confusion... Have I done wrong? I assure Your Highness that my decisions were based solely on the desire to ascertain whether any improvements could be made to the service which my position affords Your Highness."

"Himelstoss, I do not doubt your motives or your loyalty. I do, however, question your methods. It has taken you how long to travel from Schloss-Neuhaus to here? Two weeks? Yes, I thought so. And what if matters had gone awry at the Schloss in your absence? Who is there left behind who has the authority and the capability to resolve any problems in connection with the gathering and despatch of supplies? Do you not see, Herr General, that a failure in supply cripples the army?"

"Yes, Your Highness, I do indeed see matters thus; and that Your Highness, is one of the reasons I decided to travel to the army's present position. I did not, however, Your Highness, take this decision lightly, nor alone. I conferred with Herr General Von Prostler, who agreed that now I had established a comprehensive system for collecting, storing and despatching supplies I needed to examine the transportation of those same supplies. Your Highness has been good enough to commend me for the training or the wagon drivers; Your Highness must also believe then that I have been as diligent in the training of my administrative staff at Schloss-Neuhaus. My second-in-command, Major Von Hauchitsch, is a more than competent officer, who has had experience in campaigning under the command of your late uncle, and knows what needs to be done."

"H'mmm... Von Prostler was aware of and agreed with your scheme?"

"Indeed, Your Highness."

"Very well, we will let this pass for the moment. But there is to be no further excursion without my prior knowledge, is that understood?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Now, let us turn our attention to the matter of unanticipated reinforcements. What gave you the idea of gathering in our stragglers? For the most part, the Commanding Officers of Regimente and Bataillonen are content to have shed what they consider to be potential weaklings from their ranks."

"Your Highness, with all respect to the gentlemen in command of your regimente, they are too harsh in their judgement. The army, if I may make so bold, was mustered in haste, and this mustering was delayed by a series of misfortunes, which necessitated the even hastier recruitment of replacements for those who succumbed either to the poisoned flour or to the explosion of the Britannic powder-carrier. It is these new recruits, who for the most part, were those who lagged behind on the march. In many cases, Your Highness, it was an instance of although the spirit is willing the flesh is weak. You Highness, most of those whom I collected on my route were making determined efforts to follow the army, and that despite their lack of food and in some cases shoes on their feet. There were only eight men who required compulsion to continue in their route, and those men I ordered bound, and have handed them over to the Oberleutnant whom you left in charge here, young... ah yes, Von Rabensthal."

"I see, Herr General. Pray tell me, how is that you managed to keep these men going, when the best efforts of their offizieren and unteroffizieren had failed?"

"Your Highness, I have had some small experience in the training of men. Your Highness has, in the past, been good enough to commend my efforts in that direction."

"True... true..."

"Your Highness, in my experience, it has been the fault of the offizieren if men fall out on the march. It is normally due to insufficient training in the discipline of marches. All these men needed was the opportunity to rest and regain their strength. A day or two of unencumbered, easy marches and plenty of food was sufficient to, literally, set them back on their feet."

"Unencumbered marches?"

"Yes, Your Highness. With their packs and their firelocks - where they had them - loaded on to the wagons, and keeping to the wagons' slower pace, the majority of the men were quick to recover. There were alas, one or two, whose bodily exhaustion was too great for their constitutions. I have their names and the names of their families. I will ensure that the families are informed of their sacrifice."

"Very well. Then Herr General, it was indeed well done. But, do I understand you to say that some of these stragglers had with them their firelocks?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"H'mmm. Thank you, Herr General, you may return to your duties."

"Yes, Your Highness."

I thought I saw a pussy cat...?

2008-11-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

"Well, Von Smallhausen, why have we halted this time? Yes, I know you don't know, but go and find out! How in the name of all that's holy can the army take two days to cover seven leagues!"

"Directly, Your Highness."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Herr General, His Highness' compliments, and he wishes to be informed of the reason for this delay?"

"Well, Von Smallhausen, you may tell His Highness, that we have temporarily halted, to take up assault formation, in light of the news, brought in by a patrol, that the village in which His Highness has seen fit to take up his quarters, now appears to be occupied by a force of unknown size and composition. We are taking precautionary measures so that in the event of the force being inimical, we shall not be taken by surprise! Er... with my respects, of course!"

"Of course, Herr General. May I ask what steps, other than the assumption of a battle-ready posture, you intend. His Highness is sure to ask."

"Apart from forming the advance guard into an assault line, I have requested General Muller to screen our movements and also to scout the North and South approaches to the village. As we close, he is also to reconnoitre the western approaches to the village. Now, are you quite sure you have that?"

"Yes, Herr General. Thank you."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"So... a potentially tricky situation, Von Smallhausen. Those demmed Hannunteran Dragoons trying to remain invisible behind us, and now a possible enemy to our front."

"Not an enviable situation for Your Highness."

"Von Smallhausen... May I take the liberty of reminding you that you too are in the same situation?"

"Indeed, Your Highness. But, I am a mere Hauptmann, Your Highness is the Head of State and the Commander-in-Cief od this armament. I also happen, thanks to Your Highness' generosity, to be most excellently mounted, and not being overly constrained by Your Highness' position, shall have no compunction in making the best use of my steed's paces, should that eventuality become necessary."

"Von Smallhausen! How dare you? You would desert your post at the first setback? I shall, I shall... Von Smallhausen, if you continue to make sport of me in this most unbecoming manner, then I shall... I shall think of some dire fate for you!"

"Indeed, Your Highness, the temptation was overwhelming, but I do, most seriously, make a point. We cannot afford to have you killed, or even worse taken prisoner. Such an outcome would render our political position untenable. We should have no choice but to withdraw to Ober Nord Westfalen and wait for the storm to break around our ears - because, Your Highness, in an unhappy event befalling you, then Ober Nord Westfalen itself would be lost. Your Highness' lady is most highly thought of by the populace, but I seriously doubt that the army would fight for her in the same manner as they are willing to fight for you."

"What! Do you say that the troops would be disloyal? No! I don't believe it!"

"No, Your Highness... the troops would fight, if the order is given. But, would the order be given?"

"Of course it would! Her Highness is totally committed to Ober Nord Westfalen!"

"Yes, Your Highness, of course, but... she is foreign, she was of the Romish persuasion... I have to ask... Would she have the full confidence of the army commanders?"

"Yes! She must have! They are oath-bound!"

"They are oath-bound to you, Your Highness. If Your Highness is lost, or taken, what then?"

"Von Smallhausen. I ask you straightly: Have you any solid grounds for these wild suppositions of yours?"

"Your Highness, I give you my word, I have nothing that would stand the proving of a trial. But, I have worked with Herr Flick for long enough to garner some of his sense of when things are not altogether as they should be."

"H'mmm, very well, Von Smallhausen. You have given me much ground for thought. I will consider your advice very carefully before I take any action. Thank you, Von Smallhausen."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Your Highness, we are ready to move again."

"At last, General Von Willich! So... do we attack our own headquarters?"

"Er... no, Your Highness."

"I am relieved, such an attack would have appeared ridiculous in the eyes of the world! But, good General, we are to assume, therefore, that the troops in the village are some of our allies?"

"Aah... umm, well, not allies, Your Highness, not as such..."

"Go on, Herr General, go on."

"Well, they are actually our own troops, Your Highness."

"Our own troops? How so?"

"Details are not yet fully disclosed, Your Highness, but it appears that General Himmelstoss took it upon himself to accompany one of his supply trains forward, and while on his route took the opportunity to sweep up the stragglers and laggards from our march. Together with the recruits he conducted hither, he has amassed a force of nearly five hundred men!"

"Good God! Herr General, this is priceless! Seven battalions and eight squadrons thrown into battle order by a motley collection of their own raw recruits and scrimshankers! Herr General, this is a most excellent joke on ourselves! But, it is also a most serious matter. A matter that requires discussion, therefore a General Officers' meeting at seven of the clock this evening. I advise the Generals that they would be well advised to dine early - this meeting promises to be a long one!"

"Jawohl, Your Highness!"

Double Dealing

2008-11-04T03:57:00.000-08:00

"Gruber!"

"Yes, Herr Feldmeister?"

"Give orders for the men to eat now. We stay as we are for the present... at least, that is what that clown of Ober Nord Westfalen thinks. We had best give that impression. Once the men have fed, bring one of the Dragoner Schwadronen forward, quietly. They are to lead their mounts, and wait to the rear of Infanterie Regiment Nummer Drei. Once those bastards have disappeared from sight, we march at full speed. The Dragoner are to maintain contact with them. Taking care that they are not seen. Understood?"

"Jawohl, Herr Feldmeister!"

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Well, Herr General, that went rather well, I thought!"

"Really, Your Highness?"

"Oh, yes. The Feldmeister took to his schnapps, and while he thought he was being very clever, he rather let slip more information, I am persuaded, than he had intended."

"In what manner, Your Highness?"

"Well, as an appetiser, he told us that he leads the advance guard of his forces, and that substantial reinforcements are a day's march behind him. However, in the tally of his forces, he has omitted the Hannunteran Guards Regimente. Is it likely that Hannunter takes the field without making use of its so-called elite?"

"Agreed, Your Highness. Most unlikely."

"So... where are the Guards? It seems to me that we had best keep a screen between us and them. Have Herr General Muller arrange for observation patrols to keep watch on Hannunter's past route. If the Guards are anywhere about us, Von Wenigkirche is sure to communicate with them!"

"You are convinced of some duplicity, Your Highness?"

"Of course I am, Von Wenigkirche, for all his bluster and not-so-thinly veiled threats was remarkably accommodating. You will note that despite his protests he accepted all of my suggestions with a quibble. However, I do not trust him to abide by the terms of our agreement. I believe that once we are out of sight, he will move, and move quickly. He is not of the temperament to sit on his hands and wait!"

Confontration or Confusion?

2008-11-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

"Welcome, Herr Feldmeister."

"Your Highness."

"Pray take a seat, Herr Feldmeister, a glass of wine, perhaps? Or would you prefer something a little more robust?

"Some Hollands, if you please, Your Highness."

"But, of course, Herr Feldmeister. Bruno, some schnapps for the Feldmeister, if you please."

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"Do tell me, Herr Feldmeister, how are things in Hannunter?"

"All was well, when I left, Margraf."

"All is well at court?... Good. Are you a married man, Herr Feldmeister? If not I can heartily recommend that blessed state."

"Yes, Your Highness, I am married."

"Good, good. And how fares your good lady?"

"She is well enough, Your Highness."

"Good, good. More schnapps? Bruno... Ah, thank you."

"Damn it, Margraf! What do you want?"

"Ah, that famous impetuosity, of which we have heard so much. Really, Herr Feldmeister, I was just trying to establish some sort of mutual ground for our meeting. Through small talk, d'ye see? After all, although we face each other's armies, there is no need for discourtesy between gentlemen, is there?"

"H'mph! That cuts to the chase, Your Highness! What the devil d'ye mean by blocking my path? Hey?""

"Prudence, Herr Feldmeister, pure prudence. After all, what sort of commander would I be if I failed to investigate news of a strange force, a possibly hostile force, hovering to my left and rear? 'Twould be most impolitic, not to mention imprudent, if I failed to... ah... reconnoitre."

"You may reconnoitre all you wish, Your Highness, but I tell you, you push my patience too far when you take it upon yourself to stand between me and my objective!"

"Ah... Of course, that well-known impatience. But, I neglect my duties as a host... Bruno! Yes, thank you. Herr Feldmeister, if I may take the liberty... you really should attempt to curb your rashness, patience, we are told, is after all, a virtue."

"Sir! Are you deliberately trying to goad me?!"

"Not at all, Herr Feldmeister, not at all, merely attempting to carry out these negotiations in a civil manner."

"Do you mean that I am uncivil! By heavens, Sir! You insult me!"

"No, not at all Herr Feldmeister, or at least that is not my intent, if, however, I have by mischance, given rise to an offence, then I, of course, beg your pardon."

"H'mph."

"Now then, Herr Feldmeister, if you are ready, let us discuss our rather peculiar situation. I shall be quite open with you, I do not enjoy having a potentially inimical force, no matter how small, to my rear..."

"Small?!"

"Why, yes, Herr Feldmeister, small. after all, you have, what... four battalions, four squadrons of dragoons and a half dozen or so guns? You must, I am persuaded, realise that my forces here outnumber you by at least two to one."

"Hah! Only temporarily, Margarf! Only temporarily!"

"Oh...?"

"Yes, 'oh'. Let me tell you that I have here merely the advance guard of my command. Less than a day behind me is the main force, consisting of no less than eight full regiments of foot, and four regiments of horse and dragoons!"

"Such a great armament, must needs, of course, give a prudent man pause for thought. But, tell me, Herr Feldmeister, why such a great force, and whither bound and for what purpose?"

"Hah! Yes! You'd like to know that would you not!"

"Herr Feldmeister, between neighbours - and we are neighbours, not so? - there should be no secrets. I am quite prepared to tell you that my troops here, and the rest of my army, are bound for Luttich, where we are to rendezvous with the Englisch Herzog, Marlbrouk, with the intent of handing a... a demmed good thrashing to the Franklanders. You, see, I am quite open with you."

"H'mm... very well, if you are to take the field against the Franklanders, then it seems that for once Hannunter and Ober Nord Westfalen have a common cause! My orders are to take the Elector's Army and join Prinz Eugen Von Sawoie at Maastricht. We, too, are to take up arms against the Franklanders!

"Well, Herr Feldmeister, that was not too difficult, was it? Now, we must both face some rather unpalatable facts. Due to centuries of Hannunteran aggression against my holdings, there has developed a degree of bad feeling between my countrymen and the citizens of the Electorate, and knowing what soldiers are, I feel it would be far too much to expect both armies to march together without some degree of friction engendered by this long-standing ill-will. Now, if, say, one or the other of us was bound to support a rival party, then I would have no hesitation of falling upon you and destroying your army, but, as our common purpose makes that option ineligible, then Herr Feldmeister, we must both take steps to prevent an unnecessary effusion of blood until we do meet the real enemy. Do you not agree?"

"Uh... Well, yes, of course, it only makes sense."

"Good. Bruno, the map if you please. There Herr Feldmeister, if you look, you will see that at present, we are just about... here."

"Agreed."

"Good. Now if you are bound for Maastricht, then your route takes you almost due South. Now,
if you take the most direct road, you should pass through Valkenswaard, and then by Veert and Maaseik to your destination. We on the other hand need to veer more to the West, through Geel and Diepenbeck and then on to Luttich. Which will, of course add some days to our march, but in the interest of peaceful co-existence, this is a sacrifice which I am more than prepared to make. You will see that my proposed route places the Maas between our forces, and I feel, Herr Feldmeister, that this degree of separation will assist in preserving our forces for the forthcoming struggle against the Franklanders."

"H'mm. Why, Your Highness, would you be prepared to make such a deviation from your route?"

"Why, as I have just explained. To keep contact between our force to an absolute minimum. I suggest that we keep the river between us in order that we have a clearly defined line of demarcation."

"Very well. I can see no disadvantage in your proposal. I agree!"

"Good. Now let us turn our attention to extricating ourselves from our current position, which, you must admit tends towards to the farcical!"

"Very well, Your Highness. What do you propose?"

"I suggest, Herr Feldmeister, that you hold your ground, for say, six hours, while I march gaily on my way towards Luttich!"

"No, six hours is too much. I need to get my troops forward out of this bog! Three hours!"

"No, that is too soon. Let us, in the spirit of compromise agree on... four hours?"

"Very well, Margraf, four hours it is!"

"Very well, Herr Feldmeister, we are agreed. Pray let us not detain each other. We each, in our own way, have much to do!"

"Then, I bid you a good day, Your Highness. Wachter! My Horse!"

Ooops!

2008-11-01T01:34:00.000-07:00

"Well, that's bolloxed my plans, Von Willich!"

"How do you mean, Your Highness?"

"Simple, if Hannunter cannot deploy his men to his right, because the ground is too deep, then Muller will not be able to take them in flank, because if the ground will not support foot, what d'ye think the result will be if horse try to charge over that same ground?"

"Ah, I see, Your Highness."

"Good. Send a rider to General Muller, he and his Reitere are to return to the main position, by a covered route, mind you, and are to form up to our left rear."

"At once, Your Highness."

"Ah, Von Smallhausen. How went the parley?"

"Your letter has been accepted, Your Highness. And I believe you will have your meeting."

"Good, good. Who is the Hannunteran commander?"

"Von Wenigkirche, Your Highness."

"Von Wenigkirche, hey? H'mm, Von Willich, what do we know of him?"

"A stern disciplinarian, Your Highness, and somewhat choleric of temperment. A reasonable man would see his position, if not hopeless, is at the least disadvantageous, but Von Wenigkirche is not particularly reasonable, and it is not beyond the realms of possibility that disadvantaged or not, he would still order an attack."

"But that goes beyond choler, into the realms of insanity!"

"True, Your Highness, but Von Wenigkirche may not be entirely sane."

"How d'ye mean?"

"Well, Your Highness, it is commonly held that Von Wenigkirche is of the firm belief that the earth is flat and square in shape. Indeed, it is rumoured that he had an officer cashiered for insubordination, merely for trying to demonstrate, with the aid of a globe, that the world is, in very truth, round!"

"Herr General, are you making game of me?"

"Indeed not, Your Highness, I would not dare! I appeal to you Hauptmann Von Smallhausen, has not Von Wenigkirche this very reputation?"

"It is indeed true, Your Highness, but if I may be allowed?"

"Yes, go on Von Smallhausen."

"Your Highness, Von Wenigkirche, has, in the past, come to the notice of Herr Flick, who has compiled quite a dossier on the Feldmeister; if I recall the case, he has a greater than usual fondness for spirituous liquors, which, together with his red hair, may help to explain his choleric tendencies; however, he is greatly admired and trusted by his troops who habitually refer to him as "Onkel Karl", or even as "Großvater Karl". This respect stems from his concern over their health and welfare, and even survives his periodic attempts at their extermination through pointless attacks. He lacks subtlety, and his most usual - and most successful - method of attack is a headlong frontal storm. He is reputedly contemptuous of all foreigners, and firmly believes that Hannunter has only been deprived of her rightful place as Weltführer through the machinations of lesser beings who are afraid to face her in battle."

"I was right! The man is insane!"

"Insane or not, Your Highness, this is the man with whom you must deal."

"Thank you, Herr General, I had not forgotten that minor point!"

"If I may suggest, Your Highness, that a degree of circumspection may, in dealing with Von Weinigkirche, be beneficial."

"How so, Von Smallhausen?"

"Without wishing to put words into Your Highness' mouth, may I suggest that a conciliatory approach, may best serve our needs. That is, if Your Highness does not wish to take the opportunity of handing the Hannunterans a... a... oh, yes, a 'demmed good thrashing', was it not?"

"As I have had occasion to remark on a previous occasion, Von Smallhausen, you sound more like Flick every day. But your point is well taken. We are here to fight the Franklanders, not other Germans. I will heed your impertinent advice!"

"Your Highness is too kind."

Shall we dance?

2008-11-01T00:52:00.000-07:00

"Herr Feldmeister! Herr Feldmeister!"

"Yes, what is it?!"

"Herr Feldmeister, the advance guard reports a force of foot across our path!"

"What! Where? Who? How many? Sound the halt! Order deployment into column of divisions! The Dragoner forward to screen the deployment - and get the guns forward!""

"Herr Feldmeister, the ground..."

"What of it?"

"It is very wet, Herr Feldmeister, if we move off the road, we will bog down!"

"The devil you say! - Locholz!"

"Herr Feldmeister?"

"You are supposed to be my engineer - what of the state of the ground?"

"Bad, Herr Feldmeister, very bad. It appears to have been flooded recently."

"Yes, yes, never mind that... can we move on it?"

"I think not, Herr Feldmeister, however, there is a certain method of ascertaining whether we can or no."

"Well then, get on with it!"

"Yes, Herr Feldmeister. Oberst Kleinschmidt! Have the goodness to deploy your first bataillon to the right, in column of division, if you please. Take them as far as that ditch and then into line facing the enem... er, facing South!"

"Jawohl, Herr General!"

"Now, Herr Feldmeister, let us observe..."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"No, Herr Feldmeister, look at them, the leading ranks are up to their knees, and as they poach the ground, it become worse for the rear ranks!"

"Damn it! Stuck on the road! If they - whoever they are - attack we will be caught like fish in a barrel! - Do we know who they are yet?"

"Herr Feldmeister, they have blue coats and I can see yellow on some of their colours."

"Blue? Yellow? Pommersche? Hess-Damall? Braunsland? Hollanders?"

"I think not, Herr Feldmeister, the blue is too light in hue. I think... I think they may be of Ober Nord Westfalen."

"Ober Nord Westfalen? Impossible, Gruber! We are not at war with them, and besides, d'ye really think that playboy general of a Margraf could have caught us like this? Anyway, according to reports they are at least twenty leagues away!"

"The Margraf? Perhaps not, Herr Feldmeister, but he has some able Commanders, Von Willich, for example, is not to be totally despised, and Muller has a certain reputation for craftiness - and with respect Herr Feldmeister, reports can be in error!"

"Herr Feldmeister, look... a parley!"

"Very well, Gruber, meet this envoy and find out what the devil they want!"

"Jawohl, Herr Feldmeister."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Halt! That's far enough!"

"Agreed, we can hear each other well enough."

"Who are you, and what do you want?"

"My name is Von Smallhausen, Hauptmann in the service of His Highness, Albrecht, Margraf of Of Ober Nord Westfalen. And you, sir?"

"I am Oberstleutnant Gruber, of the army of the Elector of Hannunter. What does your master mean by blocking our road?"

"I believe he has achieved his aim. Your forces are halted are they not?"

"Temporarily, Hauptmann, temporarily, I assure you."

"Herr Oberstleutnant, I am no great strategian, but it seems to me that while your force is halted on the road, you are unable to deploy in our face. Yes, we saw the attempt to move a bataillon to your right."

"Yes, a pretty piece of deception, was it not?"

"Yes, indeed. Who would have thought that Hannunter had so many accomplished thespians in the ranks of it regiments of foot. You see me all admiration."

"Pah! All very well, but what, Hauptmann is the purpose of this parley?"

"My Margraf wishes a meeting with your commander, who is...?"

"Feldmeister Karl Weiden Von Wenigkirche."

"Von Wenigkirche? Good. I have here a letter for your commander from Margraf Albrecht. You must ask the Herr Feldmeister to forgive the impersonal address, but without a name for the cover, how could it be otherwise? I am instructed to return here in an hour to receive the Herr Feldmesiter's response."

"Very well, Hauptmann, I shall see that the letter is safely delivered."

"Thank you. Now, we meet an again in an hour's time, yes?"

"Yes. I bid you a good day, Hauptmann."

One 'L' of an idea

2008-10-31T12:46:00.001-07:00

"Gentlemen, this spot suits our purpose. Herr General Muller, I wish you to take both Reiter Regimente, and deploy them parallel to this north-south road, off to the left and behind that ridge line. Deploy a screen, perhaps one Schwadron, to the North, I do not want to find that you have been rolled up by the open flank! Understood?"

"Yes, Highborn!"

"Good. Herr General Von Willich, the foot to be deployed on the near bank of that stream. I suggest two regiments forward and the third in reserve, anchor your right on that thicket. The Garde Regiment I shall keep under my personal control as a reserve, should it be needed".

"As you command, Your Highness!"

"Oberst Bruchmuller, two guns to accompany the Horse, the remainder to be posted in support of the first line of foot."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Good! Now, listen very carefully, I shall say this only once. We are not yet, as far as I am aware, at war with Hannunter! If any man, of whatever rank discharges his firelock or artillery piece without orders then I will have that man hanged and break his commanding officer - is that perfectly clear to you all? Good. It is not my intention to precipitate a general action, I merely wish to find out what the devil these demmed Hannunterans are playing at. I anticipate that our presence here will oblige them to halt. Once they have halted, I will send forth an emissary to arrange a parley. I am merely deploying as means to stop them, and in the words of the good Hauptmann Vogelsang, because I do not trust them as far as I can piss! However in the event of any hostile action taken against us I intend to hand them a demmed good thrashing. If an action should commence, then the sudden appearance of a brigade of Horse on their right flank should give them pause for thought. Do you take my meaning, General Muller - you do - good! Now gentlemen, to your posts if you please. Well, Von Smallhausen, I am glad to see, and smell, that you are once more presentable!"

"Your Highness is too kind."

"Damn it all, Von Smallhausen! You sound more and more like that blasted Flick with every passing day!"

"As Your Highness says."

"H'mph! Very well, then. It is you whom I shall despatch as my emissary. Are you quite clear on the protocols involved?"

"Yes, Your Highness, a colour and a trumpeter. Halt just out of shot range and await a response."

"Good. All we have to do now is wait. That's the easy part, hey?"

Late at the Feast

2008-10-31T04:19:00.000-07:00

"Your Highness, my apologies for my absence, but the task took a little longer than I had anticipated."

"Von Smallhausen! Where the devil have you been? I do not expect my Military Secretary to be absent when there are orders to be written and despatched!"

"Your Highness, once again my apologies, but I have been working on that other task."

"Oh! The swordsman from...?"

"Just so, Your Highness."

"Well, I suppose that even I cannot expect you to be in two places at the same time. But, it was demmed inconvenient!"

"It is most frustrating, Your Highness, I had just begun to make some headway in my enquiries when I heard the assembly!"

"Yes, well, let that other matter keep for the nonce. You had best get back into uniform... where did you get that ridiculous outfit, you look like a down at heel waggoner... no, wait, from that particularly pungent odour, I should say a cattle drover!"

"Actually, Your Highness, I had assumed the character of pig farmer. I have found that a military coat has the most remarkable silencing effect on the local populace."

"Yes, well, in the name of God, go, freshen yourself and get back into proper attire. We march within the hour. Here, do you see, this road junction? Good. Well, by my reckoning, about three leagues to the north of that is a brigade strength force of Hannunteran troops. We do not yet know if there are more, or what their intention is. But I am tired of blundering around in the dark. I intend to challenge them, and if necessary beat them!"

"But, Your Highness, are we now at war with Hannunter as well?"

"Not yet, Von Smallhausen, but failing a satisfactory explanation of their presence and intentions then there is a good chance that we may soon demmed well be!"

"May I ask Your Highness, what exactly are your intentions?"

"I intend to block their route, and ascertain exactly what it is they are doing down here! And for that Von Smallhausen, I will need your presence - suitably attired, so go, change your coat!"

"Immediately, Your Highness!"

"Leutnant!"

"Your Highness."

"Leutnant... tare an' 'ounds! What is your name?"

"Leutnant Otto Von Rabental, Your Highness."

"Very well, Von Rabental, in my absence, you are to take charge of Headquarters. You are to ensure that Lady Henrietta is not to leave her apartment; you are to hold no conversation with her; you are to post double sentries at the door to this Gasthaus and you are to deploy picquets on all three roads entering the village. Is that understood? Good. You will have two zugen of the Guards as well as a half zug of Reiter Regiment Nummer Eine, and although you are in command, you will be well advised to seek the co-operation of those detachment commanders. Understood?"

"Yes, Your Highness, but if it please Your Highness, if there is to be an action, I would rather be with my Kompagnie!"

"Your keeness does you credit, Von Rabental, but you will do as you are ordered!"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Good! Do not fear, boy, your chance for glory will come!"

"Yes, Your Highness."

Something beginning with 'H'

2008-10-30T12:31:00.000-07:00

"Your Highness, Oberstleutnant Von Wilhelmsburg requests a moment of your time. On urgent business, he says."

"Very well, show him in... wait, why are you announcing visitors, Leutnant?"

"Your Highness, Hauptmann Von Smallhausen, has not yet returned to Headquarters."

"I see. Very well, show the Herr Oberstleutnant in, if you please."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Good evening, Oberstleutant, pray, enlighten me, what is so urgent?"

"Your Highness, half of one of my patrols has just returned. They report a column of Hannunteran Troops, a Brigade of foot, accompanied by horse and guns, some five leagues to our North East and marching parallel to us ."

"Half a patrol, Obersleutnant?"

"Yes, Your Highness, the remainder of the patrol is shadowing the Hannunteran force."

"Very well, now show me on the map, where exactly are these troops?"

"Your Highness, at about four of the clock this afternoon, they were approximately... here, in this low lying land between these hills and the Maas."

"H'mm, very well. Five leagues, hey? Well, if foot march at one league an hour, and dusk is at seven of the clock, then they will halt before that in order to billet, or bivouac, then, at the most they will have covered a further two leagues, which would put them about... here! So, some four leagues to the North East. That is a day's march. So... Thank you Oberstleutnant. Return to your Regiment, and have it ready to march at first light. Leutnant!"

"Your Highness?"

"Rouse the Headquarters staff - I have orders to issue. Rouse also the duty zug of Reitere, I want ten couriers ready to leave on the instant! "

"Jawohl, Your Highness."

"And find Von Smallhausen!"

"Jawohl, Your Highness!"

An opening gambit?

2008-10-30T05:14:00.001-07:00

"Lady Henrietta, good afternoon."

"A good day, to you, Your Highness. What brings you to my humble cell?"

"Merely a desire to ascertain whether the steps which I have taken to alleviate your solitude have had any beneficial effect."

"I am not sure, Your Highness, whether you are to praise or to blame! Hauptmann Von Smallhausen seems particularly tongue-tied until he produces that de... that confounded chess board! Your Highness, the man is a demon! He consistently demolishes my defences with consummate ease! Why is he only a Hauptmann? With his strategic talents he deserves to be a General, at the very least! I confess, though, that he is a welcome visitor, his prodigious talents have roused my intellect, and for that I am vastly grateful."

"Good, I am content that I have, at least to some extent, gone some small way to make your continued presence with us less onerous."

"Oh, no, Your Highness, I have no intention of letting you off so lightly! You and I have a score to settle, and I impatiently await the day when I may have my revenge!"

"Madam, when that day dawns, you shall find me all complaisance!"

"Oh! You, you... insufferable man!"

"Madam, I really must insist that once this campaign is brought to a successful conclusion, that you visit us at Schloss Neuhaus. Your opinion of me marches so well with that so often expressed by my wife, that I am persuaded that you and she will deal famously together!"

"Sir, I can only suggest that if you subject your unfortunate spouse to this sort of Turkish treatment, then her opinion of you is obviously well merited!"

"Alas, 'tis true, I am a sad reprobate."

"Sir! You make game of me, I protest 'tis most outrageous in you!"

"Madam, I pray your forgiveness, how may I make amends?"

"Well... Hauptmann Von Smallhausen was to have dined with me this evening, however, he now informs me that he has pressing duties elsewhere, and regrets that he is no longer at liberty to attend me. Perhaps...?"

"Madam, I shall be delighted to join you. But, Von Smallhausen has duties elsewhere? 'Tis most passing strange... I cannot recall have required him to undertake any matter out of the ordinary, but let that pass. Lady Henrietta, I most gratefully accept your invitation, even if only as a surrogate to Von Smallhausen."

"You... you... Oh! Words fail me!"

Mate in .....?

2008-10-28T11:04:00.001-07:00

"Von Smallhausen, still at work?"

"Indeed, Your Highness."

"Pray, tell me, what is so absorbing?"

"I am re-reading the statements from the gentlemen of IR 3 and of the artillery park concerning their contretemps with the gentlemen from Hannunter."

"To what purpose?"

"I regret to inform Your Highness that there have been two further incidents with officers of the Elector's army, one concerning a Fahnenjunker from Reiter Regiment Nummer 2, and the second a Leutnant from IR Nummer 1."

"Gods above! Von Smallhausen, this is becoming an epidemic! If our young gentlemen are so keen to cross swords with an enemy I could but wish they would wait until we meet the demmed enemy! well, what's the worst of it this time?"

It is very bad, Your Highness, the Fahnenjunker was killed during the encounter, and the Leutnant has had a major tendon severed, it is doubtful if he will ever again be able to hold a sword. But, Your Highness..."

"Yes?"

"The Fahnenjunker, Erwin Schneider... he was just sixteen years old!"

"Sixteen! Gods on Olympus! What sort of man draws steel on a child?"

"That, Your Highness, I am endeavouring to discover. I hope that somewhere in these statements is a description sufficient to identify the murderer. Because, Your Highness, that's what this man is! From this account by another officer of RR2, the Hannunteran officer had a plenitude of opportunities to pink the young man, but seemed to deliberately to wait for a killing thrust!"

"Ach! That's sickening, von Smallhausen!"

"Just so, Your Highness. But, so far the descriptions are vague, and indeed contradictory, yet there seems to be no doubt that it is the same man. Given Your Highness' orders on this subject, that duelling is strictly forbidden, it appears that this individual is deliberately seeking out Your Highness' officers when they are, if not in their cups, a least a trifle bosky, and presses a quarrel on them which he must settle instanter!"

"Do you mean to tell me that this... man is deliberately stalking my officers with the intention of killing them?"

"It would appear so, Your Highness. Moreover, he seems to make a point of picking the least experienced of those he encounters as his targets."

"Gods! Von Smallhausen, this cannot be allowed to continue! But, how in the name of all that is holy are we to stop it? We cannot place all our officers under arrest, and short of so doing, I cannot anticipate that any order confining them to their regimental areas will be strictly obeyed!"

"As Your Highness has sapiently remarked, I have some small talent for intrigue. It occurs to me that something officially unofficial might answer our needs."

"What do you have in mind, Von Smallhausen?"

"It is but the slightest thickening of the fog, at the moment Your Highness, but Herr Flick has taught me a thing or two... Is Your Highness positive that he wishes to know?"

"If it something with which Flick has, or would, come up, then, no... I think I would prefer to remain in ignorance!"

"Just so, Your Highness. I take it then that Your Highness would prefer to leave the matter in my hands?"

"Why, oh why, Von Smallhausen to I have a distinct feeling of déjà vu? No, don't answer that, I would probably prefer not to be reminded!

"As Your Highness wishes."

"Now, Von Smallhausen, I have another wish. I wish not to be humiliated at your hands any further - in short, Von Smallhausen, I tire of being made to look like an amateur at the chess board. Yes, I know how passionate you are concerning the game, but I really must decline to take the role of sacrifical lamb in your eternal search for perfection on the board. But, never fear, I have found you a replacement opponent, who may prove to be a better match for you!"

"Your Highness slights your performance. It is not altogether to be despised; but Your Highness intrigues me, who is this opponent? I was persuaded that none of the Headquarters Officers will play. Well, not against me."

"Ha! You see, Von Smallhausen, you are a victim of your own success! However, I am informed that Lady Henrietta possesses no small degree of skill."

"Lady Henrietta, Your Highness? But... how?"

"It has been borne upon me that I am being inhumane to keep the lady in isolation. Therefore I have decided to alleviate the conditions under which she is held. I have agreed that, your duties permitting, you may spend such leisure time as you see fit in engaging her in conversation and chess. It will do you good also Von Smallhausen; you spend far too much time ith your nose buried in reports"

"But Your Highness... a lady! I do not know how to talk to such a one!"

"That, Von Smallhausen is not my concern. And it strikes me that with your chess-board you shall not stand in need of conversation."

"But, Your Highness, I do not think I can. I mean, I am flattered by Your Highness' invitation, but..."

"Von Smallhausen, you mistake me; this is not an invitation. You will do your possible to entertain the lady and alleviate her tedium."

"Yes, Your Highness."

With my little eye...

2008-10-27T04:06:00.000-07:00

"Zug, Halt! Oberleutnant Meier, remain here with the main body, Feldwebel, one Gruppe to accompany us to the ridgeline."

"Jawohl, Herr Hauptmann! First Gruppe, walk, march!"

"We shall be very cautious, Feldwebel, we shall dismount some ten toise below the ridge, and then advance on foot. One pistol each, and if any idiot looses his pistol by mistake, then I shall see his backbone before the day is out, clear?"

"Understood, Herr Hauptmann!"

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Quietly now, Feldwebel, halt and dismount. Gefreiter, one man on two to remain as horse holders, the rest, follow me, quietly."

"Now, what do you make of that, Feldwebel?"

"Three... no... four bataillonen of Infanterie, two, maybe three Schwadronen of Kavallerie, or Dragoner, and five, six, seven, eight field pieces. Pobably sechs-pfunden, Herr Hauptmann."

"Yes, yes, but can you make out any colours, or uniforms? I think I see a blue colour with a red cross?"

"Yes, Herr Hauptmann. See, some of the infanterie are pike-armed! Red coats too. Britischers?"

"It looks like it, Feldwebel. Red coats, red cross, certainly matches with their reputation, but what, Feldwebel, would Britischers be doing out here? And in such small numbers?"

"Herr Hauptmann, begging the Herr Hauptmann's pardon, but might they not be of Hannunter?"

"Yes, that was a good thought, Fleischer! What say you, Feldwebel?"

"Yes, Herr Hauptmann, they could well be. Their direction of march is, well, at the moment, from the North East. They are on the correct route from Hannunter towards the Southern United Provinces. Yes, Herr Hauptmann, they could well be Hanunteran."

"H'mmm... We are not, as far as I am aware, at war with Hannunter, yet I do not trust them any further than I can piss! Let me think... Yes, we must keep them under observation, yet we must inform the Herr Oberst... We shall return to the main body, Feldwebel, just as carefully as we advanced. Oberleutnant Meier shall take one sektion and return to the regiment. You and I, Feldwebel, shall continue to observe this column."

"Jawohl, Herr Hauptmann!"

Tentative steps

2008-10-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

"Good evening, Lady Henrietta."

"Good evening, Your Highness."

"You asked for an interview, my lady, here I am. How may I be of service?"

"Your Highness, you know full well, that you have absolutely no intention of being of service to me! However, I do have a favour to ask of you."

"Ask away, madam, and believe me, if I can grant you this favour, then I will do so."

"Your Highness, I have been shut into these two rooms now for above two days. Sir, I am going insane with this confinement, utterly unnecessary as it is! I am dying of tedium! I was used to be in the habit of taking exercise everyday. It is far too much to hope that you would allow me to take my exercise on horseback, but, sir, I beg you, permit me to take one hour of exercise, on foot, each day. I will gladly give you my word of honour that I will not attempt to escape during these periods."

"Ah, madam, I am sorely tempted to grant you your request, but I must remind your ladyship that you are in the midst of a foreign army. For your own safety, I most deeply regret, that I cannot, no, will not, permit you to leave thee quarters."

"Sir! I protest, 'tis vastly inhumane in you!"

"Madam, I cannot begin to tell you how deeply that label wounds me; I have ever prided myself on being a man of enlightenment, but I repeat, it is impossible."

"But, Your Highness, I promise that I will not attempt an escape. It would be quite impossible, you have taken away my coach and coachman, I have no riding habit with me, and it is impossible that I should even essay such a trial while afoot. Pray, sir, have pity on one who is trapped, without even company to share my misery!"

"Very well, madam. I am prepared to make certain concessions. It is by my orders that you are permitted to see any other person but your maid. How if I were to relax that order?"

"How do you mean, sir?"

"Let us suppose, for a moment, that I was prepared to allow an officer to bear you company for a space of some few hours each day? It would of course much depend on his duties, but I think it could be managed."

"I would far rather take exercise, sir, but I admit that company would be vastly pleasureable. But, I have no acquaintance amongst your officers that could bear me company."

"That, madam, is not strictly true; you have met Hauptmann von Smallhausen."

"Your Highness' secretary? Sir, do you intend to insult me further?"

"Madam, you misunderstand. Von Smallhausen is my Military Secretary, a far different creature than a family man of business. Von Smallhausen has been in my service, although not in a military capacity, for a space of above three years. He is no mere soldier, he has an acute mind, and is well read in the classics, and has a wide experience of life outside the army. Additionally, he is a man of high moral standards and absolute integrity. "

"Very well, Your Highness, I shall attempt to bear his company."

"Good, that is settled then... oh, by the way, do you play chess?"

"Why... yes."

I spy with my little eye....

2008-10-26T10:12:00.001-07:00

"Herr Hauptmann, vedette coming in!"

"Yes, thank you, Feldwebel, I see him."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Well, Gartner?"

"Herr Hauptmann, I beg to report, dust!"

"Yes...?"

"About a league and a half over the ridge line, Herr Hauptmann, long and low, at least three, maybe four leagues in length!"

"Thank you, Gartner. Rejoin the picquet!"

"Jawohl, Herr Hauptmann!"

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Feldwebel! What do you make of that?"

"Foot, Herr Hauptmann, and if the picket is right, then at least two Brigades!"

"Yes, my thoughts also. We will investigate more closely, but with caution, Feldwebel!"

"Herr Hauptmann, surely this far to the north east, they cannot be Franklanders?"

"Possibly not, Feldwebel. Still, we will proceed with caution. Pistols to be loaded and holstered, swords loose in the scabbards. And no calls! See to it."

"Jawohl, Herr Hauptmann!"

- - - - - - - - - - -

"All is in order, Herr Hauptmann."

"Good! Zug! The zug will advance by half-section! Walk March!"

Home again, home again...

2008-10-26T02:19:00.000-07:00

"Arretez! Qui va là?"

"Friends!"

"Who are you? Identify yourselves!"

"I am Colonel en Second Murray, of la régiment de la Garde à Cheval d'Écossais Royale!"

"That is not the uniform of les Écossais, it is an Englishman's coat!"

"I do not have to explain myself to you, soldier!"

"M'sieur, I am desolated, but unless you do explain yourself, then I cannot allow you to pass! It is regrettable, but it is my duty, you understand."

"And, if I should ignore you and your demmed duty?"

"Then, alas M'sieur, I should find it necessary to call out the Garde, and then, most unfortunately, I should be compelled to shoot you! But, M'sieur, we all reasonable men, are we not? There is a way around this impasse; If you will have the goodness to remain here, I shall summon my officier, and then we may all, once again be comfortable with each other. You shall not be shot, and I shall have performed my duty."

"Very well, then. Call your officer."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Bonjour, M'sieur."

"'Morning, Capitaine."

"M'sieur, my sentinel tells me that you claim to be a Colonel en Second in the the army of His Most Christian Majesty, but that he, the sentinel, not His Majesty, being an ill-educated fellow, cannot understand why you wear the coat of our English enemies, and that you decline to enlighten him. So you see me. Now, M'sieur, I confess to owning a considerable degree of curiosity - yes, I know, a lamentable flaw in my character, but what would you? So, M'sieur, I should be eternally in your debt if you were to take upon yourself the burden of explaining your habillement and indeed your presence."

"Capitaine, I have little time, and very little patience with foolishness! I have been engaged on the business of my own King, His Majesty King James the Second of Britain and Ireland! He is, I take the liberty to remind you, an ally of your own King!"

"Ah, but of course! Monseignieur le Duc de Normande! But, M'sieur, I reget that a repetition of that gentleman's titles does little to establish your credentials. I have no great desire to inconvenience you, M'sieur, but alas, without verification, I cannot permit you to pass. It is most regrettable, M'sieur, but it is the war, you understand. I must have verification from your régiment. Pray, M'sieur, be good enough to furnish me with the name of an officier of your Corps who shall be able to recognise you, and I will, with all haste, send for him. Then M'sieur, I invite you to accompany me to my humble quarters, there we can drink wine, while we wait for your guarantor."

"And if I shall feel disinclined to accept your invitation?"

"M'sieur, may I take the liberty of reminding you that you have but six men, while I, however indelicate it may be to boast, have twice that number at hand and ten times that number on whom I may call?"

"Very well, Capitaine, I needs must yield to force majeure, but Capitaine, I shall not forget this insult!"

Gone away!

2008-10-25T04:00:00.000-07:00

"Sir, beggin' yer parding, sir?"

"Aye, Sergeant, what is it"

"Sir, it's the men, sir. They ain't 'appy, sir."

"What the devil plagues them now, Sergeant?"

"Well, sir, they was comfortable with the army, sir. They 'ad their loot an' their doxies and light dooties, sir, an' they don't like leavin' 'em all be'ind, sir."

"Sergeant, are you actually daring to demand an explanation from me?"

"Ho, no sir, what you orders I does, an; that's enough for me, but p'raps a word to the men might go a ways to settlin' 'em. After all sir, there's five of them, an' there's only the two of us, an' with respeck, sir, we can't stay awake permermently."

"Good God, Sergeant, are you serious, have matters come to such a pass?"

"Well, mebbe, not quite that bad, sir, but 'tis comin' as sure as I live an' breathe."

"Damme! it's past time when we were back with the Regiment. What they need is a dose of proper discipline! Very well, Sergeant: You may tell the men, that the day before we parted company with the Margraf's army, I rode out to exercise my horse. During the course of that excursion, I spied a coach en route towards the army. That coach, Sergeant was emblazoned with the arms of the Wetherbys. That, Sergeant, could only mean that a member of that family was intending to visit the good Colonel. On their arrival, just how long do you think it would have taken for us to be discovered? I don't know about the men, or indeed yourself, but I find within myself a strong disinclination to decorate a gibbet!"

"Ho, I sees, sir."

"Do you, Sergeant, do you? I really wonder. Nevertheless tell the men what I have just told you, and if there remain any who would wish to dispute my commands, I, and my sword, am entirely at their disposal!"

"Yessir!"

From the Files of Margraf Albrecht

2008-10-25T03:10:00.000-07:00

By Quickest Means

8 April 1701

Herr Otto Flick
Schloss Neuhaus

My Dear Sir,

I am in receipt of your last two despatches, and that of Herr General von Prostler. I regret that they bring me no comfort at all!

I enclose a copy of Our ultimatum to Prinz Svein. You shall see that I have signed it in person. I desire that you shall take immediate steps to have it delivered to the Prinz directly.

I have written to General von Prostler, under separate cover. I have desired him to assemble the depot battalions of Our Regimente of Infanterie and march them to the border with the Vikmark, where they will stiffen Our Landwhr there currently deployed. They are to be accompanied by four companies of Dragoner, who if not entirely qualified as Kavallerie, are at least, regular mounted troops.

As to the matter of the prisoner discovered at Sir Fraser's residence, I pray you take all measures to preserve his life and restore him to health. The Leutnantoberst Wetherby with the army has somewhat mysteriously disappeared, and the disquieting possibility occurs that he was indeed an imposter. Von Smallhausen speculates that there may well be a connection between such an imposter and the elusive Sir Fraser. Pray have put in train enquiries to ascertain whether any such connection exists, or may have in the past existed.

An added complication is the arrival with the army of an Englisch Lady claiming to be the wife of Oberstleutnant Wetherby. I have caused her to be detained pending a satisfactory outcome of an inquiry into her identity. She is, however, a very reluctant guest, and, if she is indeed whom she purports to be, her father is a high-ranking nobleman of England whom I have no wish to offend. You may readily perceive that an expeditious resolution of these matters is most desirable; to that end I desire that you shall also conduct enquiries in Schloss Neuhaus to discover if there shall be any person or persons who can readily identify the lady, and if that is the case, have them conveyed to the army by the swiftest possible means in order that they may carry out such an identification.

I am persuaded that you require no reminding to keep me fully and expeditiously informed of any and all developments in these matters.

Believe me &c

Albrecht, Margraf

The slings and arrows...

2008-10-25T01:10:00.000-07:00

"Good morning, von Smallhausen...that went rather well, I thought."

"Good morning, Your Highness... er... what went well?"

"A rather demmed ticklish interview with Lady Henrietta."

"Ticklish, Your Highness...?"

"Yes, I have just informed her la'ship that she must remain as my guest for some time, until I have established to my own satisfaction, that she is, indeed, whom she claims to be."

"Ah... I take it that, as a lady of some spirit, she did not rejoice at the news?"

"That, von Smallhausen, may just qualify as the understatement of the year! No, she left me in no doubt as to her feelings: I am a monster and have outraged her! But to practicalities: Pray arrange to have a sentry posted outside the entrance to her suite. She is not to leave her rooms, and no-one is to enter, except her maid. Her coachman and postillions to be quartered with..."

"Reiter Regiment Nummer zwei. Your Highness? They are some three leagues to the west."

"Yes, an excellent choice, thank you. Now, the unfortunate fact is that Lady Henrietta, is... ah.. as the good Rittermeister von Bayer remarked, quite young and quite pretty; she also speaks excellent German. Given soldiers' propensities, any sentry will be at risk of being suborned... Sentries had best be changed at frequent intervals, and no soldier is to be so posted more than once."

"Your Highness, if I may point out... such an arrangement will over a period of time, involve a great many soldiers. Reiter Regiment Nummer eine has a goodly proportion of Poles in in its ranks, perhaps a detachment of these, seconded to the headquarters might best serve your prurpose? I think it highly unlikely, that however much of an accomplished linguist the lady may be, she speaks any Polish."

"Another excellent idea, von Smallhausen! How is it that I have previously overlooked your talents for intrigue? I really have been most remiss! Now that is settled, I see you have the morning states, how goes it with the army?"

"Your Highness, Infanterie Regiment Nummer drei, reports forty-two men sick with a flux - no, Your Highness, no deliberate poisoning, it appears that the men in question, all from one company, ah... liberated, a litter of piglings, but unfortunately did not take enough care to ensure that the flesh was thoroughly cooked prior to consumption. I also have here a letter of complaint from one Mynheer Piet Boerer, who accuses members of Your Highness' army of theft of a litter of fourteen piglets!"

"Fourteen? He must have the world's championship sow! Make arrangements to pay him for twelve at full market rate, and take steps to have the sum recovered from IR 3! Write, also to the Commanding Officer of IR3 and indicate my displeasure; those responsible for the theft are, once they have recovered from their flux, to receive suitable punishment."

"Yes, Your Highness. Your Highness, I regret to inform you that there apears to have been a second instance of a disagreement between our army and the forces of the Elector of Hannunter."

"What the devil! This is not good news, von Smallhausen! We have, somewhere within striking distance of our army a force, size, composition and location unknown, in the service of one whom has not always held the best intentions towards Ober Nord Westfalen! I thought I told you to find out where these Hannunteran forces were?"

"Indeed you did, Your Highness. And, indeed, I have issued orders to both Reiter regiments to send out patrols searching for the ene... the Hannunteran force, but they have, so far, had nothing to report."

"I see. Issue further orders for the patrols to be increased in size, frequency and duration. Von Smallhausen, I must know where this force is. How can I move when I am in ignorance of a possible, as you so nearly said, enemy? - no don't try to answer. Now, what was the nature of this second encounter?"

"Much as the first, Your Highness. A party of officers, this time from the artillery park, had a seemingly chance encounter with a party of officers in Hannunteran service. Words were exchanged, insult and offence were given and received, finally swords were drawn, and we have one dead and two injured."

"What?! Very well, give orders for my horse to be saddled, yours too... arrange for a zug of RR Nr 1 as an escort - some of those Poles you mentioned shall be ideal! We shall go to the artillery park, where I shall interview the officers involved in this encounter; and I tell you von Smallhausen, if I shall have any cause for dissatisfaction with their conduct, then by heaven! I shall have their commissions - on the spot!"

"Yes, Your Highness. When shall Your Highness be ready to depart?"

"As soon as I have changed my habit and boots! I want this state of affairs brought to a speedy conclusion!"

Hubble bubble, toil and trouble...

2008-10-24T12:18:00.000-07:00

"Lady Wetherby..."

"Your Highness, if you will permit? The correct form of address is 'Lady Henrietta'; my rank comes from my father, not my husband."

"Your forgiveness, I beg then. So, Lady Henrietta, your title is from your father, who is?"

"Augustus Fawnhope, he is the fifth Earl of Grantchester."

"Ach! Du Lieber Gott!"

"Your Highness?"

"Lady Henrietta... I suddenly find myself in a very perplexing situation. I would not wish to offend your father, and most certainly I do not wish to offend you. However, recent events have precipitated me, or rather, us, into a pretty pickle, and I fear that your presence among us has has merely served to exacerabate the situation."

"How very odd! Am I to assume that I am unwelcome?"

"Not at all, madam, you are assured of a welcome wherever I am. I see I must explain, or rather attempt to explain..."

"Yes, please do, Your Highness."

"Madam, forgive me if I state the obvious, but in so doing, it may help me to present the present... er... situation as clearly as I may. Your husband arrived at Schloss Neuhaus as His Britannic Majesty's military liaison officer to my army. He was in residence at Schloss Neuhaus for some weeks before we started our route to join forces with His Grace of Marlbrouk. During that period, we, that is Ober Nord Westfalen, suffered a series of mysterious accidents that delayed our plans quite considerably - including an epidemic of poisoning that claimed many lives - and for which I have sworn I will have the perpetrator's life! Nevertheless, the army, in due course marched, and Oberstleutnant Wetherby marched with it. The day before yesterday, Oberstleutnant Wetherby, and his party of six troopers, rode out on reconnaissance. They were due to return this morning. They have not done so. Enquiries have been set afoot, yet no one person has seen anything of your husband since his departure. The... er... women who accompany his party remain here, as does his party's baggage. His quarters bear all the signs of a temporary absence: clothing, footwear, wigs, gentlemen's necessities, all remain in his quarters. In normal circumstances I would assume that the Oberstleutnant had succumbed to the mischances of war, but, I have just received an urgent communication from Schloss Neuhaus, which states... well, here you may read it for yourself - oh, do you also read German?"

"Yes, Your Highness, indeed I do, and I confess I am afire with curiosity... may I? Thank you. H'mm... I begin to have an inkling of your plight! What to do with me. Am I indeed Colonel Wetherby's lawful spouse? or am I in league with an imposter? For it is quite clear that there cannot be two Lieutenant Colonel Wetherbys of His Majesty's Foot Guards!"

"Just so, Lady... er... Henrietta."

"Well, Your Highness, there is an exquisitely simple solution to your dilemna: I needs must return to Schloss Neuhaus. Once there, I can very quickly ascertain whether the individual in the care of Herr... Flick, yes, Herr Flick, is indeed my husband."

"I most deeply regret, madam, that I cannot, given the circumstances, permit you to leave these quarters."

"What! How dare you!? Am I to be held prisoner?"

"No, no. Not a prisoner, rather a..."

"What then? A hostage?"

"No, Lady Henrietta, not a hostage either."

"What then?"

"Quite frankly, madam, I do not know what title to append to you. But please rest assured, I have absolutely no intention of harming you, or even making your temporary residence with us in the slightest uncomfortable."

"Temporary?"

"But certainly. Once I have resolved the situation, you may, if you are indeed Lady Henrietta Wetherby, travel as far and as fast as you wish, in any direction you wish."

"And if you decide that I am not who I say, then what?"

"Then, madam, it is with the deepest regret that I must deem you an agent of a hostile power."

"And then what?"

"Madam, that prospect troubles me deeply. If such should be the outcome, I should have to consider long and hard as to what further action to take. In the meantime, I shall be obliged if you would confine yourself to this suite of rooms. Poor they may be, but they are... or rather were, until today my own quarters. Your word that you intend to do so will be sufficient."

"What if I were to decline to offer such a parole?"

"Then madam, the armed sentry which I shall place outside the door, rather than just ensuring your safety, will also be charged with ensuring that you do not leave these chambers."

"Monstrous! This, sir, is an outrage!"

"Madam, I am well aware just how unbecoming these precautions are. But, I really cannot see any other viable solution until I have satisfied myself of your bona-fides."

"And how sir, do you intend to do that?"

"I could write to your father, enclosing perhaps, an item of your jewellery that he would recognise. Or, dare I hope that you are known by sight to other gentlemen of your husband's regiment?"

"Of course I am!"

"Well, then, madam, it is to be hoped that the necessity of inconveniencing you shall indeed be short-lived. I shall send an urgent courier to the Britannic army, with a request that an officer known to you may return with him."

"And how long shall this journey last?"

"With God's blessing, and if I despatch the courier today, he should return within the next two weeks. I shall ensure that His Grace of Marlbrouk is aware of the urgency of the situation."

"Two weeks! I needs must remain confined for two weeks?"

"I regret so, madam".

Dark as the dungeon...

2008-10-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

By Quickest Means

5 April 1701

His Highness Margraf Albrecht of Ober Nord Westfalen

Your Highness,

You will by now, I am persuaded, have received my most recent despatch concerning the raids from Vikmark and the counter-measures which I have had put in train.

Part of my investigations into these attacks have revealed that they began after an elderly gentleman, in a heavily escorted, large, black coach was seen to pass into Vikmark. From the descriptions which I obtained of this individual, and which when compared to one another reminded me of a certain resident of Schloss Neuhaus; a retired Englander, or rather Schottischer officer. Von Smallhausen knows of this man, and can supply further details if required. A vehicle matching the description of his coach was seen in the vicinity of Friederichshafen prior to the explosion of the Britannic Powder Carrier, and both von Smallhausen and myself have carried out intensive inquiries into the ownership of the said vehicle. The Schottlander Officer goes by the name of Sir Fraser, and was at one time an adherent of James II of Britannia, prior to the latter's loss of his throne to Koening Wilhelm.

Continuing my investigations, I caused a file of soldiers to proceed to this gentleman's residence in order to accompany him to the Schloss, where I might be able to interview him. However, on arrival at his residence, it was found to be deserted, apart from two local women who cook and clean for him. They claimed that he had plans to be absent from Schloss Neuhaus for a period of two to three weeks.

I took advantage of the absence of Sir Fraser, and with the aid of a party of soldiers, loaned to me by Generalleutnant von Prostler, conducted a thorough search of the premises. During the course of this search a concealed chamber was found below the cellars of the house. In the cellar was imprisoned a man. He is in a very poor physical condition, emaciated to the extreme, and although receiving medical attention, he may not survive. He has however, been able to identify himself, and claims to Lieutenant Colonel Wetherby, of his Britannic Majesty's First Regiment of Foot Guards!

There is some deception taking place. As far as I am aware, Oberstleutnant Wetherby is currently serving with Your Highness' forces. The individual whom I removed from Sir Fraser's residence, I have placed under guard within the Schloss, pending instructions from Your Highness. The two women from Sir Fraser's residence, although they claim to have no knowledge of the presence of the individual claiming to be Oberstleutnant Wetherby, I have placed under arrest. Their claim is patently false; somebody had been feeding and watering him during Sir Frazer's absence.

I have, of course, issued warrants for the immediate arrest of Sir Frazer and his adherents, and instructed the forces in the four northern Kreise to be particularly vigilant.

I most strongly urge Your Highness to investigate the identity of the Oberstleutnant Wetherby with the army.

I await Your Highness' instructions before proceeding any further.

Your Most Obedient Servant

Otto Flick

No news is good news

2008-10-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

"Your Highness! Your Highness, madam, a thousand apologies for this interruption, but a despatch marked 'Quick' has just arrived from Schloss Neuhaus. I am afraid Highness, that it is not good news."

"My wife, von Smallhausen...?"

"No, no Highness, nothing of that ilk... but it is important..."

"Very well, madam, if you will excuse me...? Pray continue at your ease here, I am persuaded you will not have to wait overlong for the Herr Oberst."

"Of course, Your Highness."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Now, von Smallhausen, what is so urgent?"

"Perhaps you had best read it for yourself, Your Highness."

"Very well, give it here. Now..."

'Quick'

'3 April 1701

To Margraf Albrecht, Commander in Chief of Our Army

Your Highness,

I beg to report that as Commander of Your Home Army, I have today, in consequence of a series of incidents along our border with the Vikmark, and with the concurrence of Herr Otto Flick, placed our Landwehr forces in Kreis Hulstein, Kreis Schlessen, Kreis Kielland and Kreis Flensbergen on active service. In addition I have warned the remainder of the Home Army to prepare for service in the immediate future.

Gerhardt von Prostler
Generalleutnant'

'3 April 1701

To His Highness, Margraf Albrecht of Ober Nord Westfalen

Your Highness,

I regret to inform you that during the past week (commencing 26th ult) there have been a series of incidents along our border with the Vikmark. These incidents have taken the form of raids by persons in civilian attire, yet with the bearing of military men. Such raids have, for the most part, been restricted to barn and house burnings and the theft of livestock, there have, unortunately, been five cases of loss of life. All loss of life has occurred when our citizens strove to defend themselves and their property gainst the raiders.

Accordingly, I have requested Generalleutnant von Prostler to embody the Landwehr in the four northern Kreise, and to stand-to the remainder of his force.

I attach a draft of a note of protest, which with your approval, I propose to cause to be delivered to Prinz Svein.

I remain, Your Highness, your Most Obedient Servant,

Otto Flick

- - - - - - - - - - -

To His Highness Prinz Svein of Vikmark

Sir,

I write to protest the recent wave of incursions from the Vikmark into the sovereign territory of Ober Nord Westfalen.

I further give you notice that if an immediate cessation of such incursions does not immediately take place, then Ober Nord Westfalen will take all measures necessary to protect and ensure the integrity of her borders.

O Flick
Head of the Sekratariat to His Highness The Margraf of Ober Nord Westfalen'

- - - - - - - - - - -

"You have read this, von Smallhausen."

"Of course, Your Highness."

"Yes, yes, of course you have. Tare an' Hounds! What a time for this to happen!"

"If you will permit, Your Highness?"

"Yes?"

"It occurs to me, Your Highness, that the timing of these attacks may not be entirely coincidental."

"And your meaning is...?"

"If Your Highness recalls, our preparations for this campaign have from the outset been plagued by a series of misfortunes. Both my respected superior, Herr Flick, and myself are convinced that these misfortunes owe more to the hand of human malignity than to chance."

"Yes, yes... von Smalhausen, I must think. Please arrange for a Council of War this evening. All general officers and Oberst Bruchmuller to attend. And yourself of course... and Oberst Wetherby... Wetherby, von Smallhausen, where is he? You did pass the word for him?"

"Of course, Your Highness! I shall send another runner instantly."

"No... do not send a runner, but rather, go yourself. You do know where he is quartered?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Very well, see to it."

"Directly, Your Highness."

The Merry Wife of Windsor...

2008-10-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

"Well, von Smallhausen, is that the last of it?"

"Just one more item, Your Highness: It is a report from the chirugeon at Emsdorf, 'I regret to inform you that Oberleutnant Nagel of the 3rd Bataillon, Infanterie Regiment Nummer 2, last night succumbed to his wounds..."

"Your Highness, I beg your pardon, but... but..."

"Yes, Herr Rittermeister?"

"Your Highness, a visitor has arrived in camp and demands to see you."

"What sort of visitor, Herr Rittermeister?"

"A lady, Your Highness, an English lady."

"A lady?"

"Yes, Your Highness, and from her carriage and apparel, a wealthy one. She is also quite young, and quite pretty."

"Well, I am at home, and perfectly ready to meet quite young, quite pretty ladies; even if they are English. Pray, tell me, why is she kept waiting?"

"At her own request, Your Highness. She bade me ascertain whether or no you would receive her."

"She bade you?"

"Yes, Your Highness. She has a certain... manner about her."

"Well then, Herr Rittermeister, have the goodness to conduct her here."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Shall I leave you, Your Highness?"

"No, von Smallhausen, I think not. I have no wish for this meeting to have any appearance of singularity."

"Good morning, Madam."

"Good Morning, Your Highness."

"Pray, allow me to present to you, my Military Secretary, Hauptmann von Smallhausen."

"Good Morning, Herr Hauptmann."

"Your Servant, Madam."

"Now, Madam, you have the distinct advantage of us."

"Your pardon, Your Highness. I am Lady Henrietta Wetherby. My husband, Lieutenant Colonel Wetherby, has the honour of being our King's representative at your court, and I am informed, with your army."

"Lady Henrietta, you do us great honour. Pray be seated. Now tell me in what manner I can be of service to you? But forgive our bad manners, we have been speaking German, would you be easier if we spoke English?"

"No, I thank Your Highness, but I am perfectly comfortable in the use of German. After all, when in Rome..."

"Yes, quite. Your command of our tongue does you great credit. But, come, how may we assist you?"

"Your Highness... I mean no offence to the good Hauptmann, but my business is of a somewhat personal nature..."

"My lady, I dislike being compelled to contradict your wishes, but Hauptmann von Smallhausen's presence is, if you will forgive me, a necessity. No only does he take the role of a chaperone, but his memory is far more acute than mine, and as such he is my prompter on those occasions when my lamentable memory loses its grasp of detail. He is, I assure you, they very soul of discretion, otherwise he would not long remain in his present position. Is that not so von Smallhausen?"

"Just so, Your Highness."

"Very well, then. If you desire that the Hauptmann remains, then so be it. I am only a weak woman, and am entirely within your power."

"Only a weak woman? Forgive me, my lady, but I fear you deprecate your own powers. There are not many gently-born women who would at this time of year undertake a journey from England, via, I assume, Ober Nord Westfalen? - yes, I thought so - to a final destination in the midst of a foreign army!"

"Your Highness, you give me far too much credit for merely following the dictates of duty."

"Duty, madam?"

"Surely Your Highness, do you not hold that a woman's duty is to be at her husband's side?"

"Err... Yes... That is, in most cases. But surely when the husband takes to the field of Mars it is a great comfort to him to know that his life's companion keeps his home for him?"

"That may be so in the generality of cases, sir, but the Wetherby's have an entirely different tradition! Which, sir, brings me to my point: My husband has been absent from home for these past eight months. In general, he is the most faithful of correspondents, and indeed for the early part of his absence, his letters have arrived, if not promptly, then at least at regular intervals. However, for the last four months I have received no word from him, not even cursory replies to my own missives. I must own to feeling a degree of concern regarding his welfare!"

"Then, madam, I am overjoyed to be able to allay your fears at very short notice. Von Smallhausen, pray have the word passed for Oberst Wetherby to attend us here. And in the meantime, madam, I fear I am once again remiss, may I offer you some refreshment while we await the Colonel?"

"Thank you, Your Highness. A glass of warmed, spiced wine would be most grateful... if that is at all possible?"

"Certainly, madam. See to it, if you please, von Smallhausen. Now, madam, while we await the wine and the Colonel, pray tell me of your journey..."

Parry, Riposte

2008-10-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

"Your Highness?"

"Yes, von Smallhausen?"

"Are you at liberty for a few moments, Your Highness?"

"Is it important?... Oh, very well, come in."

"Thank you, Your Highness. It has to do with the injury to Oberleutnant Nagel of 3 IR2. If you recall..."

"Yes, yes, of course I remember. Have you discovered what happened?"

"Yes, Your Highness, and 'tis somewhat disquieting."

"Well, what happened, man?"

"It appears, Your Highness, that the day's march being completed, and the men fed and settled into their bivouac, that certain of the officers, not just those of 3 IR 2, have become habituated to seeking cheer and warmth in any nearby hostelries or inns. By this, I mean that..."

"Yes, von Smallhausen, I know very well what you mean!"

"Indeed, Your Highness. I crave Your Highness' pardon. It appears that on the occasion of the wounding of Oberleutnant Nagel, he and some of his brother officers, attended a Gasthaus in the village of Emsdorf, where, apparently, they conducted themselves in a manner appropriate to Your Highness' service. Unfortunately, there entered upon the scene a party of Officers attired in the uniform of one of the Elector of Hannunter's Dragoon regiments..."

"Hannunter! What in the name of all that's holy are troops from Hannunter doing down here?"

"I regret, Your Highness, that I have, as yet, been unable to discover the import of their presence. However, I have put enquiries in hand, and I hope, in the not too distant future to uncover the reason behind their presence so close to our army."

"Yes, do so, if you please von Smallhausen... and have prepared for my signature an order for increased patrols. We must find out if this was an isolated party, or the portent of something greater in consequence. However, I interrupt your report; please continue."

"Very well, Your Highness. It appears that in a remarkably short period of time, the Officers of the Electors Dragoons, made themselves objectionable to the Inhaber of the Gasthaus, and the unfortunate Oberleutnant Nagel was moved to protest their behaviour. The Hannunterans then changed the object of their attention to the Officers of IR 2, making insulting remarks, anent their appearance, bearing and military skills. Our officers, with remarkable constraint, forbore to answer the taunts aimed t them, until, eventually, one of the Hannunterans made an obscene remark, concerning I fear, Your Highness, Your Highness and your lady. Oberleutnant Nagel gave the lie direct to the originator of these remarks, and received in reply a blow to the face. As you are aware, Your Highness, after such a blow no apology may be proffered or accepted. Seconds were named, and both parties retired to the Gasthaus stable yard, where an exchange of sword-play occurred. Oberleutnant Nagel, according to report, was completely out of his class, his opponent being of measurably greater skill, as well, as one must assume from his greater age, of greater experience. The bout was short, I am regret to say, and Nagel received a deep thrust to the lungs. It is feared, Your Highness, that he will not survive his wound."

"I see. What do you make, of this von Smallhausen?"

"I am not quite certain, Your Highness, neither of the situation nor of your meaning."

"What I mean is, do you think that this was a chance encounter that got out of hand, or do you perhaps suspect some darker reason?"

"I simply do not know, Your Highness. The other officers present assure me that all seemed no more than jeering at another regiment. Your Highness, knows, I believe, of the intense rivalry, between RRs 1 and 2, as an example?"

"Yes... I do... However, I cannot recall two of their officers indulging in a duel so irregular that it verges upon a brawl in a common tap-room!"

"Indeed, no, Your Highness."

"Well, thank you, von Smallhausen - although such news merits little thanks - you have done well in discovering so much in so short a space of time!"

Cam ye o'er frae France?

2008-10-19T05:11:00.000-07:00

"Sergeant!"

"Sir!"

"Get the men mounted and ready to move. We are to carry out a reconnaissance."

"Sir! Sir, can I ask 'ow long we are to be away for?"

"What possible interest can that be to you, or the men?"

"Sir, it would help if we knowed whether or not to tek rations, or camp stores, or..."

"Yes, yes, of course. We will be travelling far and fast, and I do not anticipate being absent from the army for more than two days. So... two days rations and grain for the horses, no camp stores."

"No stores, sir? That'll make an uneasy bivouac, sir."

"Yes, I am aware of that. But... listen carefully, Sergeant: I intend to leave this army, permanently. It is time we ended this farce, and rejoined our own regiment. To that end, we shall give all the appearances of making a routine patrol, and then, Sergeant, we will make our way to our allies and thence back to the regiment. So that these amateurs do not suspect anything, we will leave all our stores behind. Is that understood, Sergeant?"

"Ho, yes, sir! An' if I might make so bold, the lads'll be mightily pleased to be going home!"

"Sergeant. Let me make myself perfectly plain: The men are not to know of this plan until we are well clear of the army. Is that understood?"

"Very good, sir. But..."

"But what, Sergeant?"

"Well, sir, it's just that some o' the men have one or two bits an' pieces that they won't want to leave be'ind."

"If you mean by, 'one or two bits and pieces' the unsavoury drabs they have collected, then..."

"Ho, no sir! Them's just tarts, just wimmen, I mean sir. The lads won't miss the likes o' them for more'n a day or so. No, it's just that there's been the opportunity for a wee bit o' harvesting along the way, like."

"Harvesting, Sergeant?"

"Yes sir, yer know, the odd Thaler here, the odd Guilder there, an mebbe a candlestick or two..."

"Ah, yes, I do see. Now, the rules for this 'patrol' are simple. Nothing is to be taken that will slow down our ride by encumbering the animals. Anything that cannot fit into a pocket - without, mark you, causing a bulge - is to be left behind. In fact, Sergeant, it will be beneficial towards my plan if bulky and expensive items are left behind. After all, who would expect a deserter to leave his plunder behind? Yes, yes, it will serve very well. Now, Sergeant, do as I say and get the men supplied and mounted!"

"Yessir!"

Meanwhile, back at the Schloss...

2008-10-19T01:30:00.000-07:00

"Hilfe! Ach, Hilfe mich!"

"Well, one... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten! Now! What! Rogues! Thieves! Ha! Have at you! Take that... and that! See... they run, the cowards! Madame, are you... why, Fraulein Helga! Are you hurt... What was it a, robbery? Did they steal anything?"

"Oh! Herr Flick! Is it you? No... I think I am unhurt, but just a little shaken and frightened. No, they did not steal anything, but they tried to rip my rings from my hand, and... and one of them struck me on the head... Is there a bruise?"

"H'mm, let me see... ah, yes, I am afraid Fraulein Helga, that your beauty shall be temporarily marred, but I trust that no lasting damage has been inflicted. But, pray, how comes it that you have been so imprudent to walk unescorted through the Shambles after dark?"

"Oh, Herr Flick, you must remember that I visit my mother on this night every week. Why, you was used to escort me on my visits."

"Of course I remember, but you had not requested my escort of recent weeks, and I was persuaded that you had foregone your habit."

"Oh, no, Herr Flick. It is just that our last meeting was... was... was not so very comfortable, and I did not want to impose on you, or take for granted your..."

"Guardianship? No, no, Fraulein Helga, whatever the state of my feelings towards you, or whatever relation in which we stand to each other, I am persuaded that you must be aware that my character as a gentleman would not, had I been aware of your continued custom, permit you to make such a journey alone and on foot! If you must continue your visits to your mother, and indeed it is very commendable in you to do so, then you must allow me the privilege of escorting you, or if my presence is indeed so distasteful to you, then allow me to arrange an escort, or at the very least, arrange a carriage for your safe conveyance! But, notwithstanding your reluctance to share my company, I must insist on taking you back to the Schloss, take my arm, if you please."

"Oh, no, Herr Flick, it is not that I find your company distasteful, but... but..."

"Just so, Fraulein Helga. Now, it is not too far to the Schloss. Are you able to walk thus far?"

"Oh, yes, Herr Flick. And, Herr Flick?"

"Yes, Fraulein Helga?"

"I... I just wish to say, how, very, very grateful I am for your presence and actions tonight."

"Tush! Tush, child! Say nothing more of the matter!"

En Garde?

2008-10-18T03:15:00.001-07:00

"Von Smallhausen."

"Yes, Your Highness?"

"Von Smallhausen, I have just examined the army's daily statement. I see that, as usual, we have lost a few stragglers - which is only to be expected, even now. But, I see that an officer of the 3rd Bataillon, Infanterie Regiment Nr 2 is listed as 'Wounded, unable to travel'. Now, as far as I am aware, we have not yet encountered the enemy - I am Commander in Chief, do not you know? and I am persuaded I would have been aware of such a snippet of interesting news?"

"Indeed, no, Your Highness, we have received no such reports."

"Pray, then, von Smallhausen, how did this Oberleutnant Nagel, come to receive his wounds? Had he been involved in a duel, I would have expected to see another officer's name on the casualty list, and I am persuaded that I would have known of such an event in time to put a period to such foolish goings on! Had this officer been involved in a brawl with some or one of the local populace, then I am equally confident that the Burgermeester would have long since beaten a path to my door. So, von Smallhausen, what in the devil's name has been happening?"

"I'm sure I do not know, Your Highness."

"Humph! Do not know, or do not want to say? - No, don't deny it, von Smallhausen, I am well aware that you have a finger on the army's collective pulse! So, tell me, what is going on?"

"Really, Your Highness, in this instance and much to my chagrin, I do not know what might have chanced to occur. But, if Your Highness desires, I can make an essay to uncover what has happened?"

"Yes, do that, von Smallhausen, and also... prepare a letter for my signature, addressed to the Commanding Officer of 3 IR 2, suggesting that he report himself to my Headquarters, suitably equipped with an explanation of this event."

"Yes, Your Highness."

From the Files of Margraf Albrecht

2008-10-18T00:51:00.000-07:00

29 March 1701
In the Field

Herr Otto Flick

My Very Dear Sir,

I have somehow received the letter which I now enclose for your attention. I am far from content neither with its arrival at Army Headquarters nor with its content.

I desire you to explain to the author - most emphatically - that with the State on the verge of open warfare, with all the demands on its manpower that such a condition involves, I am not receptive to the idea of stripping Ober Nord Westfalen of the number of citizens that the author's ill-conceived, ill-considered and ill-thought out proposition demands. Neither as Commander-in-Chief of the Army have I the time, the leisure or inclination to indulge in inessentials.

This not the time to indulge in chasing cloud castles! However, if and when peace breaks out, and if the originator of this preposterous idea cares to review his plans, then perhaps, just perhaps I may be persuaded to consider them in a more equitable light.

I also desire you to make it known that in future, all correspondence not immediately pertaining to the operations in which the army is currently involved, is to be addressed to yourself. You have, of course, my authority to deal with any urgent matters that might thus come before you; any matters of a non-urgent nature with which you feel unable to deal, may be retained until my return.

Believe me, &c

Albrecht
Margraf

"20 March 1701
Schloss Neuhaus

To the Most Noble Prince,
Albrecht of Ober Nord Westfalen

Your Highness,

I crave your indulgence in presenting before you a Scheme for the Betterment of Our Beloved Homeland.

Your Highness cannot fail to be aware of the Great Wealth that has accumulated to the Thrones of Spain and Portugal by reason of their subject territories in the New World. It is unbecoming, as has been demonstrated by divers States, that the treasures of a vast continent be perverted to serve the cause of Papish Superstition, neither should the benighted Heathens of that Land be permitted to fall under the sway of the so-called Church of Rome, but rather, should be brought to recognise the True God and the True Path to Salvation revealed to us by the Blessed Martin Luther.

Your Highness, in short, I crave your indulgence by granting to me and my Company, which I am shortly to form, a Charter granting the said Company the Right to Settle in the New World, under your benign Rule. The object of the Company is three-fold. Primus: To enlarge Your Higness' Possessions to the benefit of the Fisc; Secundus: To prevent thousands of immortal Souls from the Descent Into Hell which must assuredly be their lot should they remain in ignorance of Our Heavenly Father, or worse, fall into Romish Slavery; Tercius: By the acquisition of large New Lands to elevate Your Highness into the First rank of the Princes of Europe.

Your Highness, these ends may be attained at the cost of a trifling sum. All that I beg of you is the provision of a small squadron of ships, together with their ships' companies, sufficient to convey to the New World the party which I enumerate below:

Administration:
Governor of the Colony: Herr Ludwig Reifentstein
Deputy Governor of the Colony: Herr Helmut Reifenstein
Secretary for the Colony: Herr Matthias Reifenstein

Religious:
Domini Heinrich Kellern (Of the Parish of Sankt Pauli)
4 Other Clergymen to selected by the Domini

Military:
1 Company of Foot to act as the Governor's Garde du Corps and training cadre for a Landwehr to be formed from the colonists.

Colonists:
200 families (To include artisans, farmers, men of learning, &c. None to be over the age of thirty-five years).
No single men or women to be included. Each family to bear with them sufficient foodstuffs for a voyage of nine weeks, 200 Thalers in cash, seed corn and vegetable for planting and supplies sufficient to enable them to survive the first growing season. In addition, each family to have a good firelock, twenty pounds of powder and sufficient shot, for each male over the age of fifteen years.

Your Highness, it is intended to establish a colony on the Eastern Seaboard of the Northern Continent of the New World, somewhat to the South of the Britannic Colonies and to the North of the Spanish colonies. The climate in this region is benign, and the soil is rich, enabling the foundation of farms on a large scale producing tobacco and in the southern-most regions that most valuable of new crops, cotton.

Your Highness must readily perceive that I have given due consideration to the physical and moral welfare of the Company, and I am persuaded that you must regard my plans in the most favourable light.

I remain Your Highness' Most Obedient servant
Ludwig Reifenstein"

From the Files of Margraf Albrecht

2008-10-17T04:27:00.000-07:00

28 March 1701
In the Field

To Herr Generalmajor von Prostler

My Dear General,

Having been on our route for the best part of a month, there are certain matters that have arisen that require attention.

1. Now that our army has become route hardened and a day's march now covers two stages, rather than the one stage originally ordered, it has become apparent that the scale of rations for our troops is insufficient to sustain health and bodily constitution in consequence of the increased activity demanded. Therefore it is our desire that each man should receive each day the provisions here listed:

3lb bread
1lb meat
4 pints beer
1/4 pint oil

You are to implement this enhanced ration immediately on receipt of this instruction.

This instruction is to apply to all soldiers, whether of Our army or of Our Landwehr regardless of their current employment.

You are to instruct General der Brigade von Himmelstoss to make the ncessary arrangements to convey these increased amounts in timely fashion.

2. Reinforcements. It is expected that by the time you shall have received this instruction that the depot bataillons and squadrons on Home Service shall have accumulated a number of recruits who have completed their school for the soldier. Such soldiers are to be collected at a convenient point nominated by you and from thence are to receive a route enabling them to join their various regiments. Such parties are to be formed into marching companies commanded by an officer of the depot bataillons and regiments nominated by you. The officer is to be assisted by a party of steady non-commission officers from his own regiment. The recruits are to be marched by easy stages for their first week, at a rate of one stage per day. For their second week they are to march at the rate of one and one half stages per day. By the third week they are to march at a rate of two stages per day. If convenient for the purposes of the service, the parties of reinforcements may accompany the trains of the supply organisation. This will provide an added sense of purpose to the movement, which will be beneficial to the morale of the reinforcements.

3. Marches. With effect from the receipt of this instruction, you are to make it known to the officers commanding depot bataillions and regiments that the rate of march is to be calculated as one league in one hour with the addition of one hour for each one hundred and fifty toise ascended or descended. A stage is to consist of four hours march.

Given under my hand and seal
Albrecht, Margraf

From the Private Papers of Margaf Albrecht

2008-10-17T04:11:00.000-07:00

To My Wife,

I am in receipt of yours of the 23rd inst. I must protest that you do me a grave injustice. I do not knowingly or willingly neglect you. You are my constant guiding star. My first thought in the morning is of you, as is my last thought at night.

You must try to understand; I am commanding our army in the field. True, we have not yet had cause to draw our sword, but the constant need to keep one hand on the hilt and to keep in mind our position added to the ever-vexing problem of the whereabouts of the foe take their toll on the stoutest constitution. I had also not realised how much of the time available to a commander must needs be occupied with the matter of keeping the army moving and fed. It is much harder than I had been led to believe.

I know you say I am the commander and as such may do as I wish. But, I pray you consider, having forbidden my officers to order despatch riders for the sole purpose of conveying private correspondence, how may I do the exact same thing that I have prohibited? In the army one rule must apply to all. I am quite content for my officers to request a courier to carry additional letters, so it be that they have not too much in bulk, and so I must in like manner restrict myself.

Believe me, I yearn for the day when the vexed problem of the House of Bourbon shall have received its congé and that I may return to the comfort of your presence.

In the meantime, you must continue to trust Herr Flick in matters concerning the civil government of Our Lands, and in Herr General Prostler for the defence, in our absence, of the same. In similar fashion, you must continue to trust the Good Doktor in matters concerning your condition, and you must keep me informed concerning all that passes in this matter.

[The remaining portion of this letter are devoted entirely to matters pertaining between husband and wife. Therefore being of no interest to the reader, they have been omitted]